Shattered
by Coffee Monsta
Summary: Logan is taken by Rorke, who wants to turn him against the Ghosts and use him to destroy them. Will they be able to save him in time? Rated M for tons of violence and some strong language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! I'm back! I fixed all the errors in Revenge, so now I'm back to start this story. *everyone cheers* Yes yes, I know you're happy. Well... I hope you are, anyways. I** ** _thought_** **you guys liked me, lol. I'm just teasing ya. It's too tempting to resist. But anywho, I'm gonna warn you now and I'm only gonna do this once (unless there's a chapter with violence, then I'll probably say something in the A/N).**

 **This story is going to be really violent and angsty because... well Logan gets captured by Rorke! And we all know Rorke's a cruel asshole who doesn't care about how much he hurts someone, that someone being Logan in this story. There will be a Keegan/Logan pairing later as well! And slash... eventually. But yeah, that basically sums it up. Have fun, my lovelies...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Call of Duty Ghosts, just my OC (Luke).**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I sighed as I sat with Hesh, watching the explosions as we waited for an evac. I couldn't believe Rorke was finally dead. Good riddance. I hated that man more than I could ever express in words. But I was happy now that he was gone. He was a pain in the ass to deal with and I was glad we didn't have to anymore. It was taking a while for our evac to arrive...

I thought I heard footsteps to my right, so I turned around, only to be met with a boot in the face. I pulled my knife from its sheath and tried to stab the attacker but they caught my arm and twisted it, then hit it hard at the elbow. It broke with a sickening crunch, causing pain to explode in my arm.

I cried out in pain and my vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes. It flickered as the pain ran throughout my tired body. It doubled when I was punched harshly in the face, making my nose burn. I could feel warm blood running from it, but I was too busy glaring at the man standing before me and my brother to stop the bleeding.

"Look at what you did." Rorke said, staring at the explosions in the distance.

Hesh crept forward and was promptly kicked in the face. He fell backwards onto his back and groaned, his whole body throbbing with pain. Rorke slowly approached me with a look that scared me. I had no idea what he was gonna do, and that's what scared me the most. I didn't even know how he had survived, much less what he planned to do.

"You're good." He said, kneeling down beside me with a sly smirk.

"You'd have been a hell of a Ghost. But that's not gonna happen," he said, leaning forward, "There ain't gonna be any Ghosts. We're gonna destroy 'em together."

And with that said, he grabbed my leg and began to drag me away. Oh fuck. My heart leapt into my throat as panic tore through my system. No! I wouldn't let this happen! I clawed at the ground, desperately trying to find something to hold onto. Hesh crawled forward, reaching out to me, but I was already out of reach.

"Logan..." He called.

Oh my god. There was nothing to grab onto! And the fact that I only had one functional arm didn't help. I kicked and thrashed, trying to get away from this terrible bastard, but it was no use. I couldn't get my leg free and my panic tripled when I realized this. Hesh seemed to grow more desperate.

"Logan!"

Tears fell down my cheeks when I realized I was helpless. I obviously wasn't going to get away from him and our evac still wasn't here. No! I couldn't go with him... not _Rorke!_ God only knows what he would do to me! And he had said something about us destroying the Ghosts together? I didn't want to destroy the Ghosts! Hell, I _am_ a Ghost! Hesh was about 15 feet away now.

"LOGAN!" He yelled, but was unable to do anything more than that.

I was dragged farther and farther away, and soon Hesh was out of sight. I could still hear him yelling my name though. My vision went dark a few times and I have no idea how long he dragged me for, or where the hell he was taking me. Probably nowhere good. I had given up trying to fight against him now. I was exhausted and my arm stung like a bitch, my head was pounding in my ears like a freight train, and my entire body throbbed as if it had been crushed by a tank.

I was so busy willing the pain to go away that I didn't notice we had stopped. I looked up to see him standing there, looking at me with a syringe in his hand. Oh fuck... He knelt down and put a strong hand on my head, pressing my face into the gritty sand. I felt a prick in my neck and the world began to fade. It went from bright, to dull, to pitch black in seconds.

Then there was nothing more.

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

Oh shit. Oh _shit!_ Rorke just took Logan! No! Where the hell was our fucking evac?! Tears raced down my face as I laid there, staring at the last place I had seen my little brother. I couldn't believe he was gone. I _wouldn't._ I had to get him back! Rorke was going to turn him and I couldn't let that happen. Warm blood flowed from the bullet wound in my abdomen and sunk into the sand, turning it red.

I was starting to feel lightheaded but I couldn't pass out. Not when Logan was out there somewhere with Rorke. How was Rorke even alive?! We _killed_ him! Usually when people die, they _stay_ fucking dead! Damn it! The only thing I wanted to do was get up off my ass and run after them, but I couldn't because of my injuries. I felt like sleeping for a million years, but I didn't want to sleep until Logan was safe!

The sand in front of me was soaked with tears and I had no idea how long I laid there crying. First Rorke took my dad, and now he had Logan. This day couldn't possibly get any worse. After what seemed like forever, I heard helicopter rotors. I couldn't help but think about how far Rorke had probably gotten by now, dragging Logan along with him. This is awful. I waited a few minutes, then heard footsteps approaching. From what I could tell, it was Keegan.

"Hesh! You okay? Where's Logan?" He asked, kneeling down and looking at my injuries.

"R-R-Rorke... took h-him..." I choked out, more tears racing down my cheeks.

He stopped for a moment, too shocked to move.

"What? But you said Rorke was dead."

"We th-thought he was... But h-he took Logan! You gotta go f-find him!" I begged.

Keegan sighed and said, "Okay, but first we need to get you out of here."

I shook my head vehemently. Fuck no. I was _not_ leaving without Logan.

"N-no! I'm not leaving without L-Logan!"

"Yes you are, Hesh. You've lost a lot of blood, so I don't want to hear it. We'll find Logan, don't worry." He said, patting me on the shoulder.

I would have argued more, but I didn't have the ability to form proper words any more. I would have struggled as he picked me up and brought me to the helicopter, but I just didn't have the energy. I was laid on a cot and Keegan started working on treating my injuries, as he was the medic on the team. He gave me a shot of morphine and I hated needles, but I wasn't paying attention to him. I was staring at the island with tears in my eyes as it grew smaller and smaller.

The last place I had seen my little brother.

* * *

 **A/N: Woah! Well that was angsty. Yay! This chapter was fun to write because of all the action. So I might/ might not always write in first person point of view as I did in this chapter. It just depends on which sounds better and what I feel like doing as I'm writing. But anyways, I feel like this was a good start! Please review and tell me what you think! ;D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Haha! This is fun. I like writing this story. I already got a couple reviews! Thank you Axis1 and Justagenericusername! But anyways, I don't know how I'll write this chappie... I guess I'll just figure it out as I go! :)**

* * *

Hesh woke up a few hours later, in the base infirmary. He felt like shit, but the pain wasn't as bad as before. Now it was more of a dull ache than a burning throb. He glanced down at his arm and grimaced when he saw an IV in it. He hated needles but wasn't brave enough to rip it out, otherwise he would have. He looked around, wondering where Logan was when it hit him. Memories flashed through his mind- Logan being dragged away and something about him and Rorke destroying the Ghosts together.

Oh shit.

Panic flooded over him like a tidal wave and tears gathered in his eyes. Logan was taken by Rorke. He was gone and they probably weren't going to be able to get him back. His stomach dropped and his heart felt empty. It hurt. Tears raced down his cheeks in an endless flow as he gasped for breath, efficiently aggravating his bullet wound. His side throbbed and he felt like being sick.

 _Logan's gone. Logan's gone. Logan's gone._

The thought repeated itself over and over in his mind as the image of Logan being dragged away replayed. The look in his eyes as he was taken was heart breaking. He should have been able to save him. He should have been stronger. Logan should be sitting beside him, safe at his side. And they should be celebrating their win over the Federation. But no, none of that was happening because he had been too weak to save his little brother.

Rorke killed his dad and now he had taken Logan. He was all alone now, with no one left. The thought made him cry harder, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. The heart monitor beside the bed beeped wildly, causing the rest of the Ghosts to enter the room. They all looked upset too, but none of them were nearly as sad as Hesh.

Riley whined and jumped up onto the bed, licking at his hands. It made no difference though. He didn't care about anything else right now, he just wanted Logan back, safe and sound. Kick walked over and hugged him, the others sitting in chairs beside the bed. Logan was the only thing he had left, and now he was gone too. Just like the rest of his family.

"Hesh, don't worry. We'll get him back! Don't cry..." Kick begged, running a hand through his fluffy brown hair.

He shook his head.

"N-n-no we won't... R-Rorke is too good at h-hiding." He choked out, more tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Well... we have an expert tracker! Roach, remember? We can ask him to help!"

He felt a small ray of hope shine through the dark future without Logan he had been imagining. He nodded slightly and sniffled.

"C-call him..."

"Alright, we'll call him and see what he can do. He'll probably have to come stay for a while." Merrick said, leaving the room.

Keegan, Kick, and Riley stayed with Hesh. He hoped Roach would be able to find Logan... If he couldn't, he didn't know what he would do.

* * *

 **The 141 Base at around 1:00 in the Morning...**

Roach and Ghost, who had both been fast asleep, jumped when Roach's cellphone rang. The younger man sighed and went to get it, but Ghost pushed him back down, looking at the number. He immediately recognized it as Merrick's. He tilted his head to the side. That was odd.

He sat up and left the room, explaining over his shoulder, "It's Merrick. I'll get it, go back to sleep."

Roach mumbled an incoherent reply and laid back down. Ghost smiled and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Ghost?" Merrick's voice asked.

He had called Roach's phone because he knew Ghost would be with him, but he hadn't actually wanted to speak with Roach. He didn't want to cause a panic attack by telling him that Logan was taken, so he planned on telling Roach later.

"Yeah."

"Alright. We have an emergency and need your team's help for it. Any chance you could be over in the morning?"

"It _is_ morning." He said sarcastically.

He smiled, knowing that he had caught him off guard by saying that.

"Well... later in the morning?"

He laughed slightly and nodded.

"Yeah, okay. Have you spoken to Price or MacTavish yet?"

"Yes, they're already getting ready. But they said I had to call you two and get you guys up because they didn't feel like doing it."

"Oh. Is there any chance I get to know what the emergency is?" He asked curiously.

Merrick was quiet for a moment and that worried him.

"Uhh... Logan was taken... by Rorke and we need Roach to track him down so we can get him back. But I didn't want to say anything to Roach yet because I was worried the news would set off a panic attack..."

Ghost was too shocked to say anything for a full minute. Logan was taken? He didn't know much about Rorke, other than the fact that he had killed Elias, and now apparently he took Logan. God, this guy sounds like an asshole.

He ran a hand through his hair and shakily replied, "O-okay I see. I'll get Roach ready and we'll be there later. Oh, and how's Hesh?"

"He... he's a mess. He's been crying ever since he woke up."

"Oh man. I'm sorry. Hopefully Roach will be able to track him down... I'll see you later. Bye!"

"Bye."

He hung up and sighed. He felt terrible about Logan being taken... He was one of his best friends and he hoped they got him back before anything awful happened. He went back in their room and Roach was still out like a light. He wasn't surprised, as Roach hadn't gotten much sleep in about a week. He knew he would be _really_ grumpy if he woke him up, so he decided to just get him dressed and pack his stuff for him. He opened Roach's drawer and grabbed a black hoodie, knowing how easily he got cold, especially since it was winter up in Pennsylvania right now. Then he found a pair of black skinny jeans and some socks.

He brought the clothes with him and carefully sat down beside his sleeping boyfriend. He looked adorable while he was sleeping. Ghost sighed and grabbed the hoodie, pulling Roach into a sitting position and putting it over his head. Roach whined as he put his arms through the holes. He just smiled and kissed him on the cheek, laying him back down while he grabbed the skinny jeans.

After much struggle and a lot of concentration, he was able to get them on Roach. If you asked him how he did that today, he wouldn't be able to give you an answer. I guarantee it. He put his socks on, then his shoes, and by the time he was done, Roach was still asleep. That showed how exhausted he really was, because usually he was an extremely light sleeper.

If anyone else had just gotten Roach dressed, he would've woken up. But even asleep, he could tell when it was Ghost touching him. The only reason he didn't get mad was because it was Ghost. He could never get mad at Ghost, and same vise versa. Roach just wished he wouldn't get him dressed while he was sleeping though... He wanted to cuddle while he was asleep, not get dressed.

Ghost then packed his and Roach's stuff. He packed extra clothes for both of them, Roach's laptop, some weapons, and other general supplies as well. After 20 minutes, he and Roach were ready to leave. His phone rang for the second time that morning and he answered it quickly before it woke Roach up.

"Hello?"

"Oi! Ghost, the heli will be here in 5 minutes. You better get you and your boyfriend's ass down here!" Soap ordered, and he could hear Price laugh in the background.

"Yes sir, we'll be there."

He hung up. He smiled at Roach and ruffled his hair before picking him up bridal style. Roach whined lowly and he shushed him. He carried him out of the base and to the helipad. Seeing that the helicopter was already there, he laid Roach down across a seat and made sure he was content before going back for their stuff. When he came back out with their duffel bags, Soap and Price were sitting in the helicopter across from Roach, who was still asleep. Toad and Archer were putting their bags in the back.

He set their bags in the back as well and sat down, pulling Roach into his lap. He snuggled into his chest and smiled sleepily, making Ghost laugh and run a hand through his soft hair. Archer was asleep with his head on Toad's shoulder. They were cute together. Yes, those two were finally together.

It had happened about a month ago. He and Roach had walked into the rec room, only to find them making out on the couch. At which point they both whooped and cheered, glad to no longer be the only couple on the base. He smiled fondly at the memory. And although there was nothing to prove it, he was pretty sure there was something going on between the two captains.

The helicopter lifted off and he sighed, watching as the ground below them flew by. There was nothing else to do but go to sleep. It was gonna be a long ride with nothing to do. So he yawned and went to sleep, his head resting on top of Roach's.

* * *

 **A/N: Awww! They're just so cute! Toad and Archer are finally together, too! Yay! I hinted at Price and MacTavish being together. And later there will be Keegan and Logan... there's just couples everywhere now, huh? Lol, this'll be fun. Now I have many couples to do things with... *Evil laugh* Haha, please review! Love you guys! ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi! Lol, these chapters are coming out fast, huh? I almost feel like I update too much... you guys are spoiled. But I have nothing better to do, so why not write? Btw I forgot to tell you guys, the events in this story are about a year after the ones in the epilogue of Revenge. So they haven't seen each other for a while, since they've both been super busy. Enjoy chapter 3!**

* * *

 **About 6 Hours Later...**

Ghost sighed in relief as the helicopter slowly began to descend. The ride had been long and boring, so he was relieved that they had finally arrived. Roach was still out like a light, and had been for the entire ride. He had absolutely no idea how he slept through the loud sound of the helicopter rotors turning during the trip, but somehow he had.

For the past couple weeks he had been tracking people and meeting contacts during the late hours of the night, which is why he hadn't gotten but a few hours of sleep. There were prominent dark circles under his eyes and he was so tired that he could sleep through almost anything now.

The helicopter landed and everyone grabbed their bags and went to meet the Ghosts, who were waiting at a distance. Ghost sighed and carefully picked Roach up, hurrying to catch up with the others. None of the Ghosts looked very good, but that was to be expected after losing a teammate. Kick seemed a bit better than the others. He laughed slightly when he saw Roach sleeping.

"How is he still sleeping?" He asked, shaking his head.

"He hasn't gotten much sleep lately because he's been so busy with his work. Hah, he still has no idea we're here." Ghost explained with a laugh.

"Poor thing. You guys head in, I'll grab your bags." He said, running back to the helicopter.

They all went in and he sat down on the couch with Roach. He looked at the group of sad Ghosts and sighed.

"Where's Hesh?" Toad asked.

"The infirmary. He got shot in the stomach, but he's fine. I think he's sleeping." Keegan said, sitting by the couch.

Kick came back after putting their bags in the guest room they always used.

"So... if you don't mind my asking, how was Logan taken?" Archer asked.

"Well, uhh... we don't know too many details, since Hesh was the only witness and he was half dead when he saw it happen. But our main objective was to finally kill off Rorke, and they thought they had. I honestly don't know how that bastard survived. The train they were on went under water and Hesh got Logan out but Rorke was left behind, trapped in it. They were sitting on the beach waiting for an evac... and apparently Rorke came out of nowhere and broke Logan's arm, said something about them destroying the Ghosts together, and dragged him away." Merrick explained quietly.

They were too shocked to speak for several minutes. Damn...

"Holy shit... we're sorry he was taken. But we'll get him back." Soap said, giving them a small smile.

They nodded.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice. I'm really sorry if you were busy..." Keegan apologized.

Ghost waved a hand at them in dismissal.

"Don't be sorry! You guys are practically family. We'd do anything for you."

Roach mumbled something and sat up, yawning and rubbing at his eyes. Ghost laughed at him and hugged him.

"Finally." He muttered.

Roach opened his eyes and jumped when he saw the Ghosts. He gasped and pointed at them.

"Ahhh! I was kidnapped! What the fuck?!" He complained.

Ghost sighed and whacked his arm.

"You weren't kidnapped, you idiot. I just didn't feel like waking you up because you haven't slept in weeks."

"Well... well, you could've at least told me! I would have packed!"

"I packed your things."

"Huh... okay then. Hey, where's Hesh and Logan?" He asked, counting the Ghosts in his head.

Everyone looked down at the floor with sad expressions.

"He... He was taken by Rorke." Ghost said quietly.

His eyes widened.

"Gabriel Rorke? That one?!" He asked.

Ghost nodded. Roach made a disgusted noise and immediately left the room without a word.

"Where are you going?" Ghost asked, but received no answer.

A few minutes later Roach returned with his laptop. Kick raised an eyebrow.

"Do you know Rorke or something?" He asked, because of his reaction when he heard it was Rorke.

"Uhh... let's just say he doesn't like me very much. But I'm gonna get Logan back, don't worry." He said, sitting in Ghost's lap and rapidly typing things into the computer.

"Hold up. You've met him?!" Keegan asked, standing up.

He sighed and paused for a moment to look up at the older man.

"Yes. And it wasn't a pleasant experience. That guy's a real asshole."

"How the hell did you meet him?" Kick asked.

"I was in Australia, to meet up with a contact I had recently gotten. The only issue was, he was getting the shit beaten out of him in an alley, by none other than Gabriel Rorke. So I went into that alley and joined the fight... and got my ass kicked. In the end, I had to get a new contact because he killed that one."

He raised his shirt a bit to show his side, and he traced a long scar that went up half its length.

"That's from Rorke. So yeah, I met the guy and I don't like him one bit. Now may I please start tracking?" He snapped.

"...Yeah, sure." Keegan said, sitting back down.

He began typing information into the computer at a rapid pace once again, without another word.

"Alright, last known location?" He asked, not looking up from the screen.

"Atacama Desert, Antofagasta, Chile."

"Okay..." He said, still typing.

"Any idea which direction he went?"

"Uhh... no... sorry."

"It's fine."

Ghost leaned in to look at the screen and Roach stood.

"I'm not allowed to watch?" He pouted.

Roach shook his head.

"I don't need you breathing down my neck while I'm trying to work. How long ago was he taken?"

"July 5th, at 15:39."

He nodded and continued to type.

"How's Hesh doing?" He asked, looking up this time.

Kick shook his head and said, "He's a mess."

"I'll go see him." He said simply, leaving the room.

"How will that help?" Merrick sighed.

Roach poked his head back into the room.

"Because I lost my little brother too. I know how he feels." He said, tears gathering in his eyes at the thought of Charlie.

He left the room in silence. Ghost sighed.

"Well I suppose that's true."

"I shouldn't have asked that. Now he's sad..." Merrick said.

"Does he still have issues with the whole Charlie thing?" Keegan asked.

"Yeah, he still has nightmares about his death every once in a while. They're not quite as frequent now, though."

"Oh... that's so sad." Kick sighed.

"At least John's dead now. He used to be constantly worried about John finding him and coming to get him."

"I would be too if I had a father like that."

"It's odd how he turned out to be such a sweet kid when his whole childhood was really fucked up." Toad thought aloud.

"Well he's sweet until you get on his bad side. Then he'll stab you." Archer chuckled.

That made some of the Ghosts smile a bit. They continued talking about random things for a while.

 **Meanwhile...**

Roach sighed and sat in a chair beside Hesh's hospital bed. The Ghosts were right, he was a mess. His cheeks were blotchy and tear stained, and he wasn't sleeping very well. He kept mumbling things about Logan and that made Roach feel really bad for him. He knew the feeling you get after losing someone you had looked after your whole life. He could describe it with one word- failure. You felt as if you had failed the _one_ job you were given- to take care of your younger sibling.

He also knew how empty Hesh must feel. Even after all these years, he still felt it when he thought of Charlie. He was 20 years old now and he _still_ hurt from losing him, although the pain wasn't as sharp as when it had first happened. He could only imagine how bad it had been for Hesh, unable to do anything but watch as his little brother was dragged away by the man who killed his father.

But at least there was hope for Hesh. His brother wasn't dead. Not yet at least, and that made him determined to get him back. He _would_ find Logan, if only so Hesh wouldn't have to feel the same pain he had when Charlie was killed. He opened his laptop and began typing with renewed determination. He would find Logan and get him back. He swore it to himself.

No matter what he had to do, he would get Logan back.

* * *

 **A/N: Wow, that was angsty. I feel like the Angst Queen. No. No, I _am_ the Angst Queen! Yaaassss, I am. Goodness, these chapters are long... Hahaha, I love you guys so much! Lol, please review! ;D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi everyone. *sigh* I'm really sad... I won't be able to go to Tennessee this summer cause my plans got fucked up. I was gonna stay with my best friend and now I probably won't get to see her at all. *cries* Waaaahhhhhh...**

 **[Sorry for the 3 day time skip...]**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V- Day Four...**

Everything hurt. My arm throbbed like nothing I had ever felt before. There wasn't a part on nor in my body that didn't hurt. So far I had been electrocuted, whipped, burned, drowned, stabbed, and beaten. I felt like complete shit. I missed Hesh, but I was beginning to wonder if they were coming. It had already been... three days? No, no, four. It was four... wasn't it? It was difficult to keep track of time.

The pit was a terrible place. Every time it rained, and it did so quite often wherever I was, the pit filled with rain water and it was very difficult to keep my head above water. I had nearly drowned a few times already. I had tried for hours to climb out when I first woke up here, but with one broken arm it was impossible.

I received one meal a day, although I never ate the food that was brought. It was poisoned- I knew from my experience when I ate the first time the food was given to me, which had been extremely painful. The pit was muddy and smelled terrible- mostly because this was the only place I had to piss or shit.

So yeah, basically I was stuck in a deep pit filled with my own blood, piss, and shit, severely injured and waiting for my team to come get me. Life sucked. Rorke kept saying they weren't coming for me, but I was sure they would. Any day now, they would come. I would go back home and all of this shit would be behind us.

"Hah. You keep right on thinking that, Junior. But it's never gonna happen." Rorke taunted from the top of the pit.

I jumped at the sudden noise, groaning in pain as the movement seemed to set my injuries aflame. I didn't realize I had said that out loud. Oh fuck... not again. He came by everyday to bring me to a room and torture me. I hated every second of it.

I glared up at him and defiantly spat, "Fuck you."

It only served to make him smile, which was a gruesome sight. Then, just like every time this happened, two armed guards entered the pit and forcefully dragged me up to Rorke. The first time, they hadn't been armed- so I promptly snapped their necks. It was a delightful experience, especially since it made Rorke angry. The punishment, however, was not as delightful. In fact it was rather horrible.

They dragged me from the pit and I was on ground level now... with Rorke. He said something to them in a weird dialect of Spanish and started walking, with them following close behind. Tears fell from my eyes because every bump I was dragged over was sheer agony. Moving in the slightest hurt like hell, so I certainly didn't need to be dragged around. We entered a building that had long hallways and hard cement floors- but at least there were no more bumps.

After a few minutes of going through the halls, Rorke entered a room and the guards dragged me in as well. I gasped when I saw what was in it. There was a metal table with restraints on it in the center. My stomach lurched when I saw that there was a drain under it... oh God. The wall on the right side had torture weapons hung all over it- everything from razor sharp knives to pliers.

No no no no no. I did _not_ like this room. I struggled against the guards, making my injuries feel like acid was being poured into them, but I currently didn't care. All I wanted to do was get out of this room and away from Rorke. The guards simply tightened their grip on my arms and dragged me to the table. Shit shit shit! They managed to get me on the table, but tying me down took a lot more effort.

After watching them struggle with the task for a few minutes, Rorke sighed and stepped forward. He punched me right in the nose- _hard._ I literally saw stars. It disabled me long enough for him to buckle my wrists and ankles into the restraints. Fuck. Blood ran down my face and my nose hurt _really_ bad. I think he broke it... I swear I heard a pop. I opened my mouth to scream, only to have a rag stuffed in it and firmly tied behind my head. Damn it.

I tugged at my arms and legs, but it was no use. I could barely move. Panic filled me to the brim as I wondered what he was going to do. He sent the guards out and walked along the wall, looking at all the different torture weapons. Eventually he settled on a really sharp knife... shit. He strolled back to the table with an evil smile. He sighed and leaned on the edge, running the blade through my hair just to bug me. I glared at him.

"You _are_ a stubborn one, aren't you? It makes me wonder why your team abandoned you..." He said, feigning pity.

 _They didn't abandon me... No, they're still coming. They'll be here soon._

"They aren't coming, Logan. They abandoned you. Doesn't that make you mad?" He asked, running the knife down my cheek.

 _They didn't abandon me._

He waited a moment, then put more pressure on the blade, just barely drawing blood. I winced and did my best not to move, knowing that would make it worse.

"I asked you a question. Are you mad that your team abandoned you?" He asked louder, applying increasing pressure on the blade.

 _THEY DIDN'T ABANDON ME!_ I thought stubbornly, shoving the growing doubt away.

It dug into my cheek and tears welled up in my eyes. I whimpered and bit into the rag, trying to keep myself from screaming as he pushed harder. Then he smiled and pulled the slightly bloody knife back, leaving a 3 inch long gash in my cheek.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "How does it feel to be left behind?"

Tears fell down the sides of my face. Surely they hadn't abandoned me... did they? No. No, they wouldn't. They loved me. But... if they loved me, then why haven't they come yet? The doubt Rorke had planted in my mind rapidly began to grow. I tried not to believe the crazy scenarios my mind created, but it was difficult. I began to doubt that they were coming to get me.

While I was thinking about this, Rorke had been preparing a syringe.

He turned back to me and said, "And what about that big brother of yours? Hesh. Why hasn't he come to get you yet? Hmmm... maybe he's glad he doesn't have to deal with you any more."

 _No... that's not possible. Hesh loves me... Doesn't he?_

He injected the poison into my neck and I whined, unable to do anything else. Then something odd happened. Rorke disappeared and... suddenly Hesh was standing in front of the table. Holy shit. I was extremely happy to see him until I saw the pliers in his hand. What did he need those for? Oh God...

He smiled and grabbed my pinky finger, holding it still while he clamped the pliers down onto the end of my nail. No no no. I knew what he was gonna do now and I was thoroughly confused. Why would he do this?I didn't have much time to think about it, because then he pulled, bringing my nail forward. I screamed as he roughly pulled it free, holding it up with a grin. My whole hand throbbed in time with my pulse and my pinky hurt really bad.

I had no idea such a small place could hurt so much. Tears ran down my face in rivers. Why would Hesh do this? Surely that wasn't Hesh. It looked just like him, but Hesh would never hurt me... right? I _thought_ he wouldn't... but now I wasn't so sure. This was just so confusing. Rorke said something about him not wanting to deal with me any more. Maybe that was true? I don't know what to think any more.

It was getting difficult to breathe. Yesterday I'm pretty sure Rorke broke one or two of my ribs, so it _really_ hurt to breathe. Having a gag in my mouth and crying didn't help. Hesh or whoever this person was, set the pliers down and grabbed a shard of glass. He turned around and stabbed it into my heel with as much force as he could muster. I felt blood spurt from it as I screamed.

My thoughts were all mixed up. I want my team to come get me! Where are they?! Did they really abandon me? When will they get here? Why weren't they here _now?_ I want Hesh. The _real_ Hesh! This isn't him... it couldn't be. Was he really tired of dealing with me like Rorke said he was? Why should I believe what Rorke says though? Arrrgh! This is all so confusing...

The restraints dug into my wrists and ankles every time I fought to get out of them. Both my wrists and ankles were now slick with blood. I could still feel blood dribbling from my foot. Hesh laughed and sat on the edge of the table, another glass shard in hand. Shit. I was crying so hard that he was only a blob of colors, but I could still tell he was there. He smiled and dug the sharp end of the glass into my chest, dragging it down and creating a long, jagged cut.

It hurt. Everything hurt. I just wanted it to end. That was the problem though. Unless someone got me out of here, there would be no end. I would probably die here after being tortured for a few years. The mere thought of it made me cry harder. I hated this place. And the thought of being left here made me imagine how terrible my life would be. No more friends. No more Hesh or the rest of the Ghost team. There would only be Rorke and torture- every single day.

He stood up and went back to the table, grabbing a handful of glass shards. My eyes grew huge. He smirked and set them on the edge of the table I was on, pulling a chair up and sitting in front of my feet. He picked up a shard and slowly dug it into my leg, right where the calf muscle was. I cried out in pain, the sound muffled by the rag. I tried to pull my foot away, but the restraints left me with no room to move.

For the next hour, he sat there stabbing glass shards into my feet. Sometimes he would even twist ones that were already in, causing excruciating pain. By the time he stopped, my feet and some of my left leg were covered in blood with glass stuck in them. Even when Hesh wasn't touching or playing with them, my feet burned and stung as if the glass in them was on fire.

Then he cut me with knives of all different shapes and sizes for a while. Eventually I passed out. But before I did, I saw something odd. Hesh, or this guy that looked like him, disappeared. And before everything went black, Rorke stood in his place.

* * *

 **A/N: Wow, that was long. Logan is gonna be like super traumatized when they finally get him back... oops. *sigh* This is fun. Please review! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello! Where did everybody go?! Seriously, there's a bunch of people who used to be here, who are now missing. It makes me sad... *tears***

* * *

 **Day Eight...**

Roach sighed as he sluggishly typed things into his laptop. He was exhausted. His hands and back had cramps that hurt because he had been sitting down, typing on his laptop for a little over a week. He had only gotten up to go to the bathroom and get some water, and or snacks. He had only slept for a grand total of 12 hours, mind you, that was over a period of eight days. And he had only gotten that much sleep because Ghost forced him to.

Ghost had tried to get him to sleep more, or at least eat more food than the occasional bag of chips, but he refused. He kept saying that Logan was still out there because he wasn't working hard enough, which of course, made everyone feel bad. Then Ghost thought of something brilliant- that Luke can also hack.

So, they called him up and explained everything. He said he would be there as soon as possible to help. That happened early yesterday morning. Luke still hadn't arrived, but they knew he would be here soon, which was a good thing because Roach was practically dead. He also looked like he was getting sick...

Ghost sighed and sat down beside Roach, who was still busy hacking. Well... trying to. He could barely keep his eyes open. They were all in the rec room, excluding Hesh, who still couldn't walk due to his injuries. Roach didn't know Luke was coming, but everyone else was hoping he would get here soon.

If he didn't, they were sure Roach was going to work himself to death. He was exhausted, dehydrated, and sick. He had started getting sick two days ago, and it was getting worse because he refused to get the rest that he needed to recover.

"Roach, would you _please_ go get some rest? You look terrible." Keegan begged.

It was true. Roach had extremely prominent dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks were flushed with fever, and his eyes were dull and glassy. But still, he shook his head and continued to hack, muttering curses every once in a while. Ghost was about to steal his laptop but before he had the chance, light footsteps could be heard coming from the hall. He sighed in relief and looked at his tired boyfriend, who hadn't even noticed. Luke walked in with a smile that faded when he saw Roach.

"Hi Luke." Everyone chorused.

Roach finally looked up from the screen and gave a small smile when he saw Luke.

"Hi..." He mumbled.

Luke glared at him and stalked over to him, grabbing his laptop and yanking it away. He closed it with a snap and handed it to Merrick.

"That's mine..." Roach whined, reaching for it.

"Not anymore it's not. Gary, have you seen yourself?! You look like you just came back from the dead!" Luke said angrily.

He felt his forehead and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Oh my god! You're burning up! Let's go." He said, grabbing his hand and pulling him from the couch.

Roach emitted a strangled cry of pain and fell over. He had been sitting for _way_ too long and his back had locked up. Luke cursed and carefully picked him up, leaving the room. Ghost got up and ran after them. They went to the infirmary and Luke laid Roach down on an empty bed. Ghost sat and watched while he took his temperature and put an IV in his arm. He wetted a rag and rung it out, then handed it to Ghost.

"Try to get his fever down a bit, would you?"

He nodded and pushed Roach's bangs aside, dabbing at his forehead and cheeks with the cool rag. Roach was exhausted and had already fallen asleep. He smiled, thinking he looked adorable while he was sleeping. Luke came back with a stethoscope and put it on his chest in different places, listening to his breathing. After several minutes he nodded to himself and scribbled down some notes.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Ghost asked.

Luke chewed on his pen and reviewed his notes for a moment before replying.

"He should be fine, as long as he gets a lot of rest and starts eating properly again. But he's gonna have to stay in here for a few days." He said, opening a drawer and pulling out a pair of handcuffs.

Ghost laughed as he watched him cuff Roach's arm to the bed rail. Luke raised an eyebrow in question.

"I hope you know he can very easily get out of those."

"Oh, I'm aware. But he can't get out of them without his stash of bobby pins." Luke smirked, running a hand through Roach's hair.

He pulled out a bobby pin and held it up. Ghost's jaw dropped.

"That's where he hides them?!"

"Yeah, he places them really close to his scalp so you can't really feel them unless you're looking for them." He laughed, pulling out four more.

"Is that all of them?" Ghost asked.

He nodded and said, "I think so. Five is his favorite number..."

"Huh... that makes sense."

"Mhmmm. Will he be okay here with you? I need to go continue hacking if we want to get Logan back..."

"Yeah, I'll take care of him." Ghost smiled, giving him a thumbs up.

"Thanks. I'll be back in a few hours to check on him and give him another dose of medicine. Remember- he's not allowed to leave. I don't care what he says. The others will probably come in after I go." Luke grinned, waving to him and leaving the room.

And he was right. Everyone rushed into the room as soon as he left.

"Oooh, Roach got handcuffed to the bed!" Toad cheered, pointing at Roach's wrist.

"Doesn't Luke know he'll get out of those?" Merrick asked, sitting down by the bed.

"Yeah, but he confiscated his stash of bobby pins." Ghost laughed.

"Where were they?" Archer asked curiously.

"In his hair."

"That's weird." Keegan grinned.

Hesh looked at them from the other bed. He was still stuck in the infirmary because of the bullet wound he had received.

"Hi Hesh. How are you doing today?" Soap asked, sitting by his bed.

He just shrugged with a sad expression. He was still really down about Logan being taken. Every day they came in and sat with him for a few hours and talked to him, hoping to cheer him up a bit. But he hardly ever even spoke, only doing so when absolutely necessary or when he asked about their progress on hacking the system. They kept him updated, never leaving out any details.

He looked over at the sleeping Roach and quietly asked, "What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, he's just sick. And very very tired. But don't worry, Luke took over hacking and he's just as good at it. Last I heard, they were almost in." Keegan smiled, trying to make him at least somewhat happy.

He just nodded and looked down at the floor. It was so sad. He wasn't himself at all without Logan. He hadn't laughed or even smiled since Logan was captured. It was almost like he was a completely different person.

It was a very sad thing to see and they needed to get Logan back as soon as possible, which was another reason why they had called Luke. At least now, Roach could rest and recover while they continued to make progress. Every day they got closer to getting Logan back.

They just hoped that when they did, it wouldn't be too late.

* * *

 **A/N: Yay! Luke is here! I know, I know. He's _always_ here. But I love him. And plus, Roach was in bad shape and needed help. At least it'll help them get Logan back faster. And I'm sorry for all the time skips. I just didn't think you guys would want a day by day view of things because that would basically be: Logan P.O.V- torture! Back at base- Hacking! ****Do you see how boring that would be?**

 **Speaking of which, how long should Logan be stuck with Rorke? I don't know how long to keep him there... help? Please review and tell me! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello peoples! I'm sooo excited! Tomorrow, the roof is gonna be put on my family's new house! Yay! I'm happy.**

 **Justagenericusername helped me a lot with ideas for upcoming events in this story, so she(?) gets credit! I am so sorry if you're not a she... I swear I'll fix it later if you're not...**

 **Anyways, enjoy chapter 6. :)**

* * *

 _Roach was back at John's base, staring at the bloody, lifeless corpse of his father. That is, until it sat up. He was too shocked to move. How the hell did he just do that?! He's dead. Dead people aren't supposed to sit up!_

 _John smiled at him and a knife appeared in his hand out of nowhere. Then suddenly Ghost was there too, standing by the door. Roach was happy to see him and started toward him, but out of the corner of his eye he saw movement._

 _A flash of silver flew past him, straight into Ghost's heart. Blood splattered onto the wall behind him and he fell lifelessly to the floor, thick red blood pooling around his body. Tears immediately filled Roach's eyes and his stomach dropped. He felt completely empty._

 _He ran to Ghost and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him in an effort to wake him up. Yeah, he was just asleep. That's all. He was fine. Those were the things he said to himself, but they didn't change the fact that now Ghost was gone. Gone forever._

 _Roach screamed._

* * *

Ghost had been asleep, in the hospital bed with Roach in his arms. But at around 1:24 in the morning, Roach began to stir, mumbling things and whining in his sleep. He was drenched in sweat and shaking like a leaf.

Ghost pulled him closer and ran a comforting hand through his hair. Usually at this point, Roach would settle down and go back to sleep. But this time, he did the opposite. He panicked and thrashed, the handcuffs rattling against the bed frame and scaring him more.

"GHOST!" He screamed, tugging on the handcuffs as tears slid down his cheeks.

Ghost hugged him closer, locking his arms around him in an attempt to stop the violent struggles.

"Roach! Honey, it's okay. Don't cry, I'm right here." He tried, hoping to wake him up.

A few minutes later, Roach's eyes snapped open, immediately wandering around the room.

Ghost kissed his cheek and quietly asked, "Are you okay?"

He turned around and looked up at him with tear filled eyes. He was still shaking and that worried him.

"G-Ghost?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"Yes, I'm right here. Are you okay?"

Roach buried his face in his chest and cried. Ghost was confused, but he just laid there and held him anyways, knowing he would get an answer later... probably. He was concerned. Roach held onto him for dear life, refusing to let go no matter what.

They laid there like that for about 20 minutes, then Roach finally began to calm down.

Ghost snuggled closer to him and asked, "What was it about?"

Roach shivered and shook his head.

"It's s-stupid." He whispered.

Ghost pinched his tear stained cheeks and he whined.

"It's not stupid if it scared you this much. You know you can tell me anything."

Roach hesitated, then gathered his thoughts.

"J-John, he... he k-killed you..." He whimpered.

"Awww, sweetie. John's dead, he couldn't do that. Don't you remember? He went out with a bang." Ghost chuckled, giving him a peck on the lips.

Roach giggled and said, "You're terrible."

"But you love it."

"I do." He sighed.

He was happy... until he realized he was cuffed to the bed. He yanked on his arm and looked at Ghost.

"Why am I handcuffed to this bed?" He asked angrily, shooting him a glare.

"Because Luke knew you would escape the infirmary if he didn't tie you to something." Ghost explained with a grin.

The younger man felt around in his hair and the blood literally drained from his face. He looked at Ghost, who was giggling like crazy, with an open mouth of surprise.

"He took them, didn't he?!" Roach cried.

Ghost nodded and hugged him.

"You're stuck in here with me for a week, honey." He smiled.

Roach glared at him and shoved him away.

"You have been condemned to the couch." He snapped.

Ghost pouted and reached for him. Roach shivered and sighed.

"Ugh, _fine._ But only because it's freezing in here."

Ghost smiled and snuggled up against him again. Roach pulled at the handcuffs and glared at them. He did this for several minutes, then Ghost grabbed his arm.

"That's not gonna help, just go to sleep. You're sick." He ordered, pointing a finger at him.

Roach rolled his eyes and flipped him off, but he _did_ listen to him. He went to sleep a few minutes later. Ghost smiled and pulled him closer, drifting off to sleep as well.

* * *

 **Meanwhile- Logan P.O.V**

It was very early in the morning and the guards had just dragged me out of the pit. I was still half asleep, but that was normal now. They never let me sleep. Not _ever._ If I started falling asleep, they would chuck rocks at me until I was fully awake again.

The only sleep I got was when I fell unconscious after a torture session with Rorke, and even then they dumped freezing cold water on me after a few minutes. It was terrible here. I wasn't even curious as to where I was being dragged, not until we went down a different path than usual.

That was odd. It had me worried about what was gonna happen. Rorke turned to smirk at me, but I just ignored him.

"You're lucky, kid. Today you get a break. Instead of having fun hanging out with me, you get to visit the doctor." Rorke sighed with a frown.

I remained expressionless. At least I knew where we were going now, but I had a bad feeling for some reason. I mentally shrugged. They couldn't do much worse than what's already happened to me so far. We entered a spotlessly clean building and went into a large room filled with hospital beds and medical equipment.

People in white coats whom I assumed were doctors and nurses wandered from patient to patient, although there were only a few. I was taken to a bed... that had restraints on it. Great. I have never liked being restrained in any way. It made me feel uncomfortable and... vulnerable. Having no clothes on didn't help with the vulnerable part.

I thrashed and struggled when they tried to tie me down. It didn't help much though, as I only had one working arm and a ton of injuries. But I still had a bad feeling about this. I didn't want to be here. I had no idea what they were going to do, and to be honest I didn't want to find out.

It took the help of two guards and two orderlies to get me tied down. Damn it. Rorke was talking to one of the doctors and I laid there tugging on the restraints in hopes of getting out of them. I knew I wouldn't be able to, but it made me feel better to know that I had tried.

A nurse walked over and tried to put an IV in my arm. Hell no. I didn't need them pumping God only knows what through my veins! The thought made me nauseous. I jerked my arm away every time he tried and he got frustrated. He called the orderlies over to help. They pinned my arm to the bed and he finally got it in. Owww. It stung. They used more straps to keep my arm still.

I looked around the room and Rorke seemed to have left. Hah, good riddance. I felt the IV move slightly and my head snapped to my left. A doctor was injecting something into the IV line. My stomach lurched. It couldn't be anything good. Seeing my worried expression, the doctor smiled down at me.

"It's just gonna make you go to sleep. Relax. You look like you need some rest anyways." He grinned, walking away.

Go to sleep? _Go to sleep_?! I didn't _want_ to go to sleep! Well... I did, but not while I'm here! I started feeling drowsy and I knew whatever that doctor gave me was beginning to take affect. No! No no no! Damn it! I fought to keep my eyes open for a good five minutes. Then, the urge to close them for just a second grew too strong. I did...

And my eyes didn't open again for 3 hours.

* * *

 **A/N: Love you guys! Please review! Bye! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi! Enjoy chapter 7! Bye! ;)**

* * *

Roach sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer to Ghost. He felt a hand run through his hair and giggled, hearing a laugh from his boyfriend shortly after. A pair of lips pressed against his and he smiled into the kiss, enjoying every second of it.

That is, until there was a loud bang on the table next to them, causing both of them to jump and pull away. Luke stood there with the expression of an angry father who had caught his kid banging a chick in his basement.

"No! It's not even 9:00 in the morning yet and you two are already sucking face?! Get some chill, damn it!" He exclaimed, waving his arms about.

They both blushed and looked down at the floor. The worst part was, everyone else was standing behind him, most of them laughing their asses off. Roach hid under the blanket, trying to hide his embarrassment. Ghost just kind of sat there awkwardly while everyone laughed. Poor Ghost...

"Oh my god! You two are silly. Did you _really_ think at least one of us wouldn't have caught you?" Toad asked.

"Well... we didn't really think about it. Because we figured thinking it through would take too long..." Roach's muffled voice came from under the blankets

"Roach, sweetie, get back up here. I need to check your temperature, plus I don't want you secretly giving Ghost a blowjob under there." Luke giggled, digging through a drawer of medical supplies for a thermometer.

Aaand the laughter started all over again. Roach's head popped up from the blankets and he glared.

"In that case, maybe I will, bitch!"

Luke ignored him and felt his forehead. His eyes widened and he put the thermometer in front of Roach's mouth, silently asking him to open. Instead, he scrunched up his nose and made a face.

"Oh, come on! Please! What is it with you and thermometers?!"

"My issue is, that thing has probably been up someone's ass at some point. And now you're asking me to put it in my mouth. I'm sorry, but those two just don't mix."

"It is not a rectal thermometer, therefore it has not been up anyone's ass. Are you satisfied?"

Roach thought for a moment.

"Ugh, fine."

He put it in his mouth and left it in until it beeped. Luke pulled it out and looked at it, writing down the temperature and putting the thermometer back with a sigh.

"Your fever has gone down a bit... but not much. It should be lower by tomorrow though. If it's not, I might need to consider taking you to the-"

"No. No no no, and if you didn't hear me the last four times, NO." Roach interrupted.

"Look, I know you don't like the-"

"NO."

"But I'd prefer you went to the-"

"NOOO."

"HOSPITAL! Instead of dying." Luke finished, injecting another dose of intravenous aspirin into the IV line to get his fever down.

"Yeah, well I would rather die." Roach stated bluntly, causing Ghost to hug him.

"Please don't die." He pouted.

"Hold up, what's your issue with hospitals?" Soap asked.

Roach shuddered and rubbed at his eyes.

"It's scary! There's tiny rooms and doctors and nurses running around with creepy machines that do God only knows what! And they stab people with needles! For _fun!_ IT'S BARBARIC!" He cried, holding onto Ghost like a scared cat.

They laughed at him... he's so weird.

"Dude, there's no reason to be scared of hospitals. That's silly." Archer chuckled.

"Says you! You're a fucking doctor! Like half of you are doctors! I don't like it!"

"Is it doctors you're scared of or hospitals?" Keegan asked.

"Both." Luke answered for him.

"I think we should take him to the hospital to get him over his fear of hospitals!" Toad giggled.

Roach shot him a murderous glare.

"I would shoot you, blow your corpse to bits, feed it to pigs, then throw the pig shit mixed with your body parts at your coffin at the funeral."

"...Did you think up all of that just now?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Yikes... you're scary."

"But he also doesn't like hospitals because most of the rooms are small and scare the shit out of him." Luke shrugged.

"Oooh, yeah, I see." Merrick grinned.

"That's definitely an issue." Hesh said quietly from the next bed over.

"Yes it- oh Hesh! You spoke! That's awesome." Ghost smiled, giving him a thumbs up.

He nodded silently and pulled the covers up. Roach yawned and looked at Luke.

"Luuuke! I want ice cream." He said, effectively changing the subject.

Luke knew what he was doing but decided to just go with it.

"Does your throat hurt?"

"If I say yes do I get ice cream?"

"Hmmm... after you answer the question, maybe."

"No, my throat doesn't hurt. But I want ice creeeeeam!"

"Ugh, fine. What kind?" Luke sighed.

"Chocolate!"

"Alright. But you don't get it until you get some sleep and eat some food."

"But whyyy?"

"Because you need to get better. And if you want any ice cream, you better listen to me. Don't forget that if your fever isn't down by tomorrow, you're going to the hospital."

"No! No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"Nooooo!"

Luke sighed and patted his cheek.

"We'll talk about this later. Get some rest."

He stood and left, the others saying goodbye and leaving as well. Roach sighed and yawned again, the meds in his system making him drowsy. Ghost pulled him to lay down beside him and smiled, kissing his cheek.

"You okay? You look sad..." He observed, boredly tracing his lips.

"I don't want to go to the hospital..." Roach whined, moving to sit back up.

Ghost pulled him down again and wrapped his arms around him.

"Hey, relax. Even if you go, I'll stay with you."

"B-but you can't stay with me the whole time. It's n-not allowed." He whimpered, moving closer to him.

He _really_ didn't like hospitals because that's where he had found his mother, dead. Now, every time he entered a hospital he would have a bunch of flashbacks about Alyss and how sad he was when she died.

How everything after that moment went downhill. And Luke was right, he didn't like doctors, medical equipment, or the small rooms patients were usually put in. So yeah, he was scared.

"Shhh, just go to sleep. We can talk about it when you wake up." Ghost said, pulling the blankets up around them and kissing him on the nose with a smile.

Roach sighed and got comfortable, knowing there was no point in arguing with Ghost. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep, waking up two hours later only to puke into the trashcan beside the bed.

Damn it.

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

My eyes snapped open and I looked frantically around the room. As usual, I was tied to a cold metal table. I shivered and tugged on my good arm. I remembered the hospital and all the medical equipment... then everything went black. And I woke up here... where was here? Rorke wasn't here, neither were the guards. Just me. I was confused. Was I supposed to just sit here... alone?

I also wondered what the doctors had worked on. I mean, all of my injuries still hurt just as bad as before. I was a bit cleaner, but my arm still wasn't fixed, nor were any of my other injuries. So... what had they done? Or did they do anything? But surely they wouldn't knock me out _just_ to get me some rest. That's way too nice. There had to be an ulterior motive.

I was so tired of this. The gag in my mouth tasted like dead, decomposing animal and my tongue felt _furry._ It was absolutely disgusting. I was hungrier than anyone could ever imagine, but I couldn't eat the food they gave me because it was filled with poison.

I hurt all over and really just wanted to get out of here. I missed my team but didn't know what to think about Hesh any more. To be honest the thought of seeing him kind of scared me...

The room I was in was plain, with cement floors and a table in the far corner with a few small objects on it that I couldn't recognize. I didn't know what they were and that worried me. I jumped when the door suddenly opened and Rorke entered the room... oh shit.

He smirked at me and grabbed an object off the table. Now that he held it up, I could see it properly. It was a syringe and he was filling it with some purple shit... this couldn't be good.

"Morning, Junior. Have a nice nap?" He asked, strolling over to the table.

Naturally, I didn't respond. But I wasn't really listening to him anyways. I was watching the needle that was getting closer and closer to my neck. I really wanted to ask him what the fuck that stuff was, but I couldn't. I cringed as the needle went into my neck. I felt a cool liquid going into me, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I whined and it sounded pitiful even to me.

"Oh, shut up. If you think that hurts, it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse in a few minutes." Rorke laughed, setting the empty syringe on the table.

My brows furrowed in confusion but I understood after a few seconds. It _stung._ It felt like I was getting stung by wasps but not just in one area, it was all over. When I breathed or moved in any way, it got worse. I screamed and tears blurred my vision.

But even with blurry vision, when I looked back at Rorke he was gone and once again Hesh stood in his place. My stomach lurched. I felt like I was being fried from the inside out. It hurt. I wanted it to stop. I started shaking, which only made it worse, but I couldn't stop. Hesh was here. He was going to hurt me. I was scared.

My heart raced as he came closer. More tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't help it, I just panicked whenever he showed up. He had come several times before. He hurt me every time he came. I started hyperventilating and he smiled.

He pulled a knife from his pocket and raised it. No. No no, please don't! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't breathe. The world seemed to go in slow motion as he brought the knife down, into my thigh. Pain exploded in my leg and ripped through the rest of my body.

I released a strangled scream as blood flowed down my leg, onto the table. Hesh just smiled and laughed, as if this was funny.

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't get any oxygen into my lungs. I tried, gasping and wheezing desperately, but I just couldn't pull any oxygen in. My heart pounded in my chest as the world grew dark. I could vaguely hear Hesh's laughter in the background, but it was cut off when everything went black.

* * *

 **A/N: Awww, Roach is having a hard time and will probably have to go to the hospital. Logan isn't doing so well either... he got stabbed. Owww. This was a LONG chapter and I worked hard on it! Please review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hi... no reviews last chapter! So rude! And I worked hard on that chapter too... well I suppose I'll just take it out on baby Roach. *Evil laugh* Lol, enjoy chapter 8! ;D**

* * *

Ghost awoke to the sound of retching and choking. He sat up and scanned the room for Roach, who he had noticed was no longer in bed beside him. He found him on the floor, his head bent over the trashcan as he was violently sick.

His arm that had been handcuffed to the bed was now, well... not. He had managed to unlock it somehow, but Ghost currently didn't care about that. He sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his back comfortingly, murmuring quiet reassurances and soothing words.

He gasped for breath, fighting down the waves of nausea that washed over him. He swallowed thickly and his stomach revolted again, bile rising in his throat. Tears sprang to his eyes as pain spiked in his stomach.

"G-" He gasped, but was interrupted as more came up.

He clutched at his stomach in an effort to get the pain to subside. Every time he moved, it doubled. Every time he threw up, it tripled. It was terrible. He had thrown up many times before, but he knew for a fact that it wasn't supposed to hurt this bad. Something was wrong.

"Easy, Roach. It's okay, you're gonna be fine." Ghost said quietly, brushing his damp bangs back and feeling his forehead.

He nearly recoiled at the heat radiating from it. It was definitely higher than a few hours ago. This was bad. He needed Luke, but didn't want to leave Roach alone to go get him. Not while he was puking everywhere.

It was especially worrying since he hadn't eaten in at least a day. He didn't have anything to throw up...

His point was proved when Roach started dry heaving a few minutes later. He spat into the trashcan and sat there for a moment, breathing deeply through his mouth.

"You good?" Ghost asked.

Roach tried to reply, but the only thing that came out was a whimper as pain exploded in his side. He curled in on himself and tears began to pour from his bloodshot eyes.

"Roach? Roach, what's wrong?!" Ghost asked frantically, beginning to panic.

He pulled him into his arms and wiped his mouth, setting him on the bed and earning another cry in response. Tears welled up in his eyes as well at the thought of Roach in pain.

"I'm going to get Luke, okay? I'll be back in a minute, I promise." He hurriedly explained, then left the room.

He ran down the hallway as fast as his legs could carry him. Everyone looked up when he bolted into the rec room, his eyes jumping around in search of Luke.

"What's wrong?" Said person asked, standing up.

He strode across the room and grabbed his arm, dragging him along behind him and explaining as he went.

"Roach's fever got higher and he's been throwing up for the past ten minutes. Now he's holding his stomach and crying and I don't know what's wrong with him, so would you please help him?" He begged, even though he was literally dragging him back to the infirmary.

Luke simply nodded and quickened his pace. The others began to follow, but he waved them off.

"You guys can see him after he's okay, he's not gonna want you in there right now."

They looked really worried, but listened to him anyways. They arrived at the infirmary and Roach was still in the same position- curled up on his side and crying. Luke ran over to him and cupped his cheeks, feeling his forehead and confirming that his fever had indeed climbed.

"Gary, Gary look at me. Can you tell me what's wrong?" He asked.

Roach's eyes were tightly closed and his jaw was clenched. His breathing came in ragged, irregular gasps that indicated he was in pain. Luke knew he was, but wanted to be sure about things instead of guessing.

"H... hurts..." He choked out, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Where?"

Luke noticed he was laying on the left side and holding the right side of his abdomen. Severe lower right abdominal pain, nausea, throwing up, the sudden onset of symptoms... it all pointed to one thing- appendicitis. He wanted to test something first though.

He pushed Roach onto his back and managed to get his arms away from his side. He lifted his shirt and examined the area. It was a bit swollen and looked irritated- not a good sign.

He lightly pressed down on the area and Roach nearly screamed. That confirmed it. They needed to get to a hospital _right now._ Ghost glared at him.

"Don't hurt him!" He complained, stress making him lash out at Luke, who was only trying to help.

Roach gave a loud whimper and curled onto his side again, wrapping his arms around his abdomen tighter this time and refusing to let go.

"Sorry, I had to check something." He muttered, pulling at the arm that had the IV in it.

"Gary, I need to remove the IV, can you let go for a moment?"

After a moment of hesitation, his arm loosened slightly and he allowed him to pull the IV out, protectively moving his arm back in place as soon as it was out. His whole body tensed as his stomach muscles clenched again, making him feel like someone was repeatedly stabbing him.

His breathing hitched as he felt his stomach rebel again. He fought the urge to be sick again down, swallowing several times even though the action set his sore throat aflame.

He heard people talking around him and felt a pair of arms picking him up. The movement caused him to cry harder as the sharp pain in his side intensified.

"Shhh, I know it hurts. It's okay, we're gonna go somewhere and make it better." Luke said, careful not to mention where they were going because he knew it would upset him.

Ghost carried him down the hall and they made a quick stop in the rec room to tell the others.

"We're going to the hospital, I think he has appendicitis." Luke explained, making sure he was out of Roach's earshot when he said 'hospital'.

"Oh shit, is he okay?" Hesh asked.

He had finally been allowed to leave the infirmary, but only if he was extremely cautious. A cry echoed from the hallway, efficiently answering his question. He paled slightly.

"No... he's not okay. But we've gotta go before it ruptures. I'll stay in touch and keep you guys updated. We'll be back as soon as possible, but you know how hospitals are." He said, waving to them and leaving the room.

They waved back and mumbled sad goodbyes. They all felt bad for Roach, who's condition had gone from bad to _much_ worse overnight.

Roach gave a low moan when he felt himself being laid down in the back seat of what he guessed to be a car. He vaguely heard the car start and felt it begin to move, a familiar hand running through his hair.

 _Where are we going_ _?_ He wondered, but didn't have much time to think on it as pain flared in his side, scattering his thoughts.

He bit his lip in an attempt to stop the pitiful whimpers from escaping and failing miserably.

Ghost was worried. Roach looked terrible- his skin was incredibly pale but flushed with fever at the same time, dark circles sat under his tired eyes, and the whimpers flying past his lips were a testament to how much pain he was in. The worst part was there was nothing he could do to help, other then sitting with him and offering his moral support.

Luckily the hospital wasn't far and it only took them about 10 minutes to get there. Although, to Ghost it seemed like hours since Roach was hurting and upset. He hated it when he was in pain. Especially when there was nothing he could do to help...

Luke jumped out of the car and opened the door for him, as he had his arms full of crying Roach, who hadn't even noticed the car had stopped. He was too far gone and that scared him more, as normally Roach was very aware of his surroundings.

They rushed through the double doors of the entrance and called for help. Almost immediately, nurses flooded over to them with a gurney, asking about symptoms and details. Roach was laid on the gurney and they started working on him, taking his temperature, blood pressure, etc.

"How long has he had the fever?" A nurse named Amber asked.

"About two days. Symptoms include loss of appetite, severe abdominal pain, throwing up, and fever. I believe he has appendicitis." Luke rattled off.

Amber's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't expected a list of symptoms.

"Oh... were you a nurse at some point? Maybe a doctor?" She asked curiously.

"Yes, I worked in the ICU of Backwell Medical Centre in Bristol for five years."

"It seems like you know what you're doing, too. Alright then, we'll look him over just to be sure."

"Thank you. When you confirm that he has appendicitis, if you can fit him in, I'd prefer immediate appendectomy. He has no food in his system, so if you can fit him in he'll be good to go."

She nodded and said, "Sure. We'll definitely do so if we have room."

Ghost sighed and his heart throbbed in his chest as he pried Roach's hand off of his. He couldn't stay with him and the nurses needed to bring him to the back. Roach whined in distress, then was rushed down the hall, out of sight.

He hated being taken away from Ghost. He was scared too, because there were at least five unfamiliar faces looming over him and it made him uneasy.

Bright lights flashed by overhead and he sucked in a shallow breath. Pain ripped through his side again and he screamed, clutching at it and wanting Ghost to be there. Where was he? Why had he left him? More tears welled up in his eyes at the thought. Maybe he had grown tired of dealing with him...

Amber glanced down at the man, Gary, she thought it was, and felt sorry for him. He was crying and had these huge, beautiful brown eyes that made her want to cry as well. She shook her head, shoving the thought away. She had work to do.

They brought him to a room and examined him, realizing after a few tests that he did indeed have appendicitis. Damn, the guy who brought him in was smart.

"Amber! We have an opening and his guardian finished all the paperwork. His insurance checks out, too. I'll get the anesthesiologist, you start prepping him. As soon as I get Claire here, we'll be all set for laparoscopic appendectomy." Anthony, another nurse said.

She nodded and did as he said, carefully changing the man into a hospital gown since he currently couldn't do so himself. She also put an IV in his arm. Claire, the anesthesiologist, arrived a few minutes later.

She smiled at Amber and said, "Let's get this show on the road!"

She was always very cheerful, which made the patients happy most of the time. Her and Amber were good friends. Amber nodded and returned the smile. Roach was laying on the bed, hands still clutching his stomach.

It hurt like hell. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there. He just knew it hurt and no one was doing anything about it... and Ghost was missing.

Suddenly the face of a woman came into view. He didn't like this. She was a stranger, therefore he didn't like her. She ruffled his hair and he wanted to swat her hand away. He wanted Ghost. Where was Ghost?! She held up a mask and began explaining its purpose.

"This is gonna go over your mouth and nose, alright? It's going to make you go to sleep, so just try to relax." She instructed, bringing the mask to his face.

 _Hell_ _no it's not!_

He turned his head away and made it difficult for her to get it on. She looked sympathetic.

"Hey, it's okay. This won't hurt, I swear. You'll feel better soon, don't worry. I need you to sit still for me. Can you do that?" She asked with an encouraging smile.

 _No. No I can't._

He turned his head every time she tried to put it on. After several tries, she was finally quick enough to get it on, holding it in place. Now he _really_ didn't like this lady. He held his breath, refusing to breathe in the gas. However, his efforts were proved futile as he began to get drowsy. Claire smiled and patted him on the head.

"That's it, just relax."

A minute later he was being wheeled down the hall again, bright lights zooming by above him. Everything was blurry and out of focus. He couldn't move. His limbs felt heavy and it took a ton of effort just to slightly turn his head.

He was pushed through the operating room doors and could see doctors standing over him for a moment, then everything went black.

* * *

 **A/N: MUHAHAHAHA! This is what happens when I see that 32 people have read the last chapter and not one bothered to review. So rude. I worked hard. And yes, for those of you who may not have been aware, I CAN see the views going up! Ugh... it makes me sad... *cries***

 **Anywho, I still love you guys! I'm not mad, I'm just saying that I work hard to update as often as I do and the least you could do is take 30 seconds to review. It makes my day! Please PLEASE review! Pretty please! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello~ Ugh... I'm tired... *yawns* Enjoy chapter 9! ;)**

* * *

Finally, at around 9:00 at night, they received a call from Luke. Kick answered it and put it on speaker so the others could hear as well.

"Hi Luke! How's Roach?" Keegan asked.

"He's good. The surgery went fine, he's still sleeping off the anesthesia. We'll be there in a few minutes."

Keegan and Archer exchanged confused glances.

"Uhh... shouldn't they have kept him in the post-anesthesia care unit until he woke up?" Archer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well technically, yes. But I provided proof that I was qualified to take care of him when he woke up and they let me take him." Luke shrugged.

"Oh... okay then. That's good." Toad laughed.

"Mmm, I'll be there in like 5 minutes. Bye."

"See ya."

Merrick hung up and sighed in relief.

"Well at least he's okay."

The others nodded agreement. They all felt relieved now that they knew he was okay. They had been worried... A few minutes later Luke and Ghost walked in, the latter carrying an unconscious Roach.

"How long will he be out for?" Kick asked curiously.

Luke shrugged and sat down with a sigh.

"Maybe half an hour? It depends on when he _feels_ like waking up."

"So he'll be okay?"

"Yup, as long as he doesn't tear the stitches... that would be bad. And if it doesn't get infected."

"He scared the shit out of me..." Ghost mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"How many times did he puke?" Toad asked.

"Like... five. And then it was just gagging and dry heaving over and over again. It was awful."

"Sounds horrible..." Archer said sympathetically.

"Did he give the nurses any trouble?" Soap asked.

Luke rolled his eyes and laughed.

"I heard he gave the anesthesiologist quite a bit." He grinned.

"If he didn't there would be something wrong with him." Ghost sighed.

"That's true..." Hesh agreed quietly.

Roach groaned and threw an arm over his face.

"Gary! Wake up! It's boring without you!" Kick giggled, patting him on the head as he walked by.

Roach grumbled and swatted at his hand. Ghost smiled and ruffled his hair. It was adorable. He smiled dopily and nuzzled closer to his hand. Kick pouted.

"How come he doesn't mind when you touch him?! That's not fair!"

"Because I'm his boyfriend. I get perks."

"He's cute." Toad giggled.

Ghost gave him a look and hugged Roach closer.

"Mine."

"Possessive much?" Keegan laughed, raising an eyebrow.

"Like _you_ wouldn't be! Look at this person! He's adorable!" Ghost argued, gesturing to Roach.

"Yes, and he's very snuggly. But I probably wouldn't be as protective as you if he was my boyfriend."

"Why not? He gets into so much trouble. He needs protection."

"Okay, that last part just sounded bad..." Merrick said, hiding a smile.

Everyone thought about it for a moment, then started laughing.

"Oh my god!"

"Merrick! That was terrible!"

Roach sat up slightly and blinked a few times, a confused expression on his face.

"Morning, sunshine." Luke said, waving a hand in front of his face.

He jumped and looked up at Ghost for an explanation.

"Uhh... you got appendicitis." He mumbled.

Luke glared at Ghost.

"That was a poor excuse for an explanation, you dumbass. Roach, you got appendicitis so we went to the hospital and you had a laparoscopic appendectomy. Basically that means they took your appendix out."

Roach just stared at him, completely out of it.

Luke sighed and said, "I don't think he's fully awake yet."

"He looks like you just told him he had his arm removed..." Soap laughed.

Roach mumbled something incoherent and laid back down, closing his eyes and going back to sleep. A few of them laughed at him.

"I think he's too tired to comprehend what you told him." Price chuckled.

"Probably. I'll just tell him later..."

"What do you think he'll do?" Archer asked.

"Probably make a face."

"But he always does that!"

"Well yeah, of course he does. He's Gary."

When he heard him say his name, Roach looked curiously at Luke.

"You awake yet?" Luke asked.

"Mhmm, I 'wake." He mumbled with a cute grin.

He laughed slightly.

"Okay. What do you think happened?"

Roach seemed to think for a moment.

"I got knocked out an' someone stole my liver?" He asked, his words slurring a bit.

"Hmmm, close. You got knocked out and had your appendix removed."

He made a face. He didn't know how he felt about that... Luke pointed at him with a smirk.

"Ha! See, Archer! I told you he'd make a face."

"Damn..."

Roach sniffed Ghost and scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"Ewww... no wonder you smell like hospital..." He grumbled.

"Well you smell more like hospital than me."

"No I don't."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes you do!"

Roach shuddered and buried his face in his hands.

"God damn it! You're right! I feel disgusting! I need a shower!" He cried.

They laughed at him. Archer patted his knee.

"Sorry buddy, but you aren't allowed to shower until tomorrow."

He looked up at him with huge round eyes.

"What?! Why!?"

"Because of your stitches."

"B-but I," he stuttered, sniffing his arm and gagging, "I smell like h-hosp..." He couldn't even finish the word.

"Gary. Yes, you smell like hospital. But so do Ghost and I. You'll live." Luke laughed.

"I don't wanna live!"

"Well you're going to, so suck it up."

Tears welled up in his eyes. Kick gasped and took a picture. Luke stared at him for a few minutes, then sighed.

"Do you want ice cream?" He asked, standing up because he already knew the answer.

Roach nodded vehemently, then stopped.

"Oh shit, the room is fucking sideways..." He gasped.

Luke laughed and patted his shoulder on his way to the door.

"It's probably the meds they gave you. Speaking of which, you're gonna take more pain meds in like... 2 hours." He informed.

Roach raised an eyebrow.

"Who says so?"

"I say so. But I don't really need to. Once you realize how much it hurts without them, you'll beg me for them."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm Gary fucking Sanderson. I don't beg."

Ghost laughed and smirked.

"You do during certain activities..." He said creepily.

There was complete silence for a full minute. Then everyone burst into fits of laughter. Except for Roach, who blushed like mad and hid his face.

"Shut up."

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V- Day Thirteen...**

I groaned and looked up with a defeated sigh. I was here again, in the pit. I hate this place. Hesh will probably come soon, too, which doesn't help matters. Where was my team? Despite all of Rorke's criticism towards them, I had tried _so_ hard to stay positive.

But... I had also figured they would have come by now... and obviously they hadn't. What was holding them up? Or did they not plan on coming to get me? But surely they're gonna come. They love me... and I'm part of the team! They need me!

 _You're the youngest and least valuable on the whole team, Logan. Face it, you're expendable. They wouldn't waste the time or resources to come save your pitiful ass._

The thought just came floating out of nowhere, making tears well up in my eyes. Did they really see me that way? Am I expendable?

 _Of course you are, idiot! They don't need you! You're more burdensome than helpful. In fact, they're relieved you're gone._

The tears slid down my cheeks and I could feel panic rising in my chest. Did they really not care about me at all? I know I'm the youngest on the team... but I try to be useful! I really do!

 _And all you achieve is getting in everyone's way._

No I don't! At least I don't think I do...

 _Who are you kidding? No one wants you around. Why do you think they haven't saved you yet?_

I cried harder, knowing the negative side of my mind had a good point (A/N: Yup... Logan's gone a little bonkers). It was difficult to breathe. I was positive that several of my ribs were broken, and red hot pain exploded in my sides every time I took a shallow breath.

I could feel pressure in my chest and that made it even harder to breathe. I began to panic more. What if I died?! My lungs burned in need of oxygen, causing me to gasp for breath, which actually made it worse. Black spots danced across my vision as it began to rain.

Great. That's all I needed right now, was to drown in this God forsaken hole! I choked on air (A/N: That takes some real skill, doesn't it?) and slumped to the muddy floor of the pit, gasping for breath. I didn't get any and passed out after a few minutes.

I wish my team would come...

* * *

 **A/N: Roach is alive! Yay! There's also some... Logan panic attack/inner battle for ya. Sorry I was making jokes the whole time, but you guys are aware of my sick sense of humor.**

 **Actually I was sitting here giggling uncontrollably while I wrote this chapter... lol. Please review! Next chapter will probably be up tomorrow! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello, my lovelies! This is so angsty... Btw, this chapter's gonna be... for lack of a better word, interesting. Enjoy the interesting chapter! ;)**

* * *

Roach sighed in his sleep and yawned, nuzzling into the warmth the person next to him provided. This person happened to be Luke, because Ghost had gone to the bathroom and had asked him to cover snuggle duty. He was still hacking, but was almost there. And he had practically raised Roach, therefore he didn't mind being used as his snuggle toy.

It also gave him a chance to check his temperature and stitches. He still had a low grade fever, but it was slowly going away and he wasn't worried about it. His stitches looked fine. While hacking, he had also been brainstorming over how to get Roach to go with him and Ghost to his check up, which was the day after tomorrow.

It was just so the doctor could look at his stitches and ask how he was feeling after the surgery. They wouldn't need to stay long, but with Roach's wild imagination, he would picture something terrifying and run away screaming bloody murder. The fact that he hated hospitals in general didn't help.

Luke knew he definitely wouldn't come to the hospital with them willingly... but he was hoping he could bribe him somehow. He really didn't want to sedate him and drag him to the hospital, then have to explain to the doctor why they had brought him an unconscious patient.

His thoughts were scattered when Roach whined and sat up slightly. He nearly jumped off the couch when he noticed the lap he was laying across wasn't Ghost's.

"L-Luke? Where's Ghost?" He asked, rubbing at his eyes with a yawn.

"In the bathroom. He'll be back in a few minutes." He smiled, patting his cheek.

He nodded and sat up fully with a grimace, his hand flying to his side.

"You okay Roach?" Keegan asked with a concerned expression.

Luke glanced at the clock hanging on the wall.

"He'll be fine in a minute, it's time for more pain meds." He said, setting the laptop aside and leaving the room to get them.

Roach licked his lips and looked for a drink. Then he saw a convenient glass of water on the table, so he did what any sensible person would do. He grabbed it and literally chugged it.

Kick gasped and said, "No! Roach that's not-" but by this point, the damage was done.

Everyone stared at him with open mouths and shocked expressions. Roach giggled and slammed the glass down onto the table with a dopey grin. Then he cheered and launched himself from the couch, running to the door and nearly knocking Ghost on his ass.

"Baby you shouldn't be running around! You're gonna tear your stitches!" He scolded, pointing an accusing finger at him.

The shorter man just ignored him and stood on his tippy toes to kiss him. He almost kissed him back, then tasted alcohol in his mouth and pulled back with a shocked look. Tears welled up in Roach's eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

"You don't love me anymore?" He asked pitifully, his pupils huge.

Ghost hugged him and gave the others a look that said 'what the fuck did you do?' over his shoulder.

"It wasn't our fault!" Archer said waving a hand at him.

Ghost ignored him and held Roach at arm's length.

"No baby, I love you. Don't cry... but what did you drink?" He asked, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"Water!"

"Honey I don't think it was water."

"Of course it waaasssss!" Roach cheered, moving to run around him but Ghost grabbed him.

"No! Stay here." He said, dragging him back to the couch.

"But I wanna EXPLORE!"

"You can explore later."

He sat him down and sat beside him, but he tried to escape again.

"EXPLORE!" He yelled excitedly, jumping up and was nearly successful in his escape.

But Luke walked into the room, efficiently blocking his only escape route. Ghost sighed and dragged him back to the couch again, this time forcing him to lay down then sitting on his legs. Luke raised an eyebrow when Roach looked at him with a pout.

"Lulu! The grumpy banana won't let me EXPLORE!" He complained, pulling on his legs.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Yeah, that's a good question _guys."_ Ghost said pointedly, glaring at the others.

"I had a glass of vodka on the table... and he chugged it thinking it was water..." Kick said in an ashamed tone, looking at the floor.

"So he's wasted?" Luke asked with a laugh.

"Yeah... sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. This is great. The only downside is the terrible hangover he's gonna have."

Ghost raised an eyebrow and looked at Roach, who was currently talking to Toad about 'scary hospitals'.

"I fail to see how this is great."

"It's great because we get to see him wasted. Think about it. We've all known him for forever and not one of us has ever seen him drunk. This is a historical moment that will most likely only happen once, so enjoy it."

"That's true..." Soap muttered.

Price just grinned.

"No. This is _bad_! You all know damn well he's gonna be upset later when he realizes what he drank! He'll probably have a panic attack and Luke, since you think this is so awesome, _you_ can deal with it." Ghost snapped.

"Dude, loosen up. He'll live. John's gone and to be honest, he really does need to get past his issue with alcohol." Luke replied, rapidly typing information and codes into the computer.

"Ghostie!"

"What is it, sweetie?" He sighed.

"Lemme up!"

"No."

Luke grinned and sat down on his legs beside Ghost.

"Oi! Get off meh!" He complained, whacking Ghost's arm.

"Nope, you're a nice chair."

"Plus you need to sit still. You'll tear your stitches." Archer chirped.

"The room is spiiiiiinning..." He slurred, smiling sloppily.

"It's too bad I can't give him his meds now... those usually knock him right out." Luke sighed disappointedly.

"Trust me, he'll be out in a few minutes. He can't lay down without falling asleep."

"You _preposterous_ turd! I will NOOOOT! You're suuuch a... a stupid head!" Roach giggled cutely with a hiccup.

Ghost sighed and patted his cheek.

"Sure you won't, cutie."

Roach giggled and kissed his hand.

"Oh yeah, I remember now. That's definitely his weakness. Whenever we got into an argument, all I had to do to stop it was make him lay down. It was funny... and very entertaining." Luke laughed.

"Screeeeew you, Lulu."

Luke pouted and pinched his leg. Roach whined and squirmed uncomfortably.

"Staaaaahp it..."

"Then be nice to me, brat."

"I not brat."

"Yes. Yes you are, and it's naptime." Kick giggled.

"I second that motion." Merrick grumbled.

"Same!" Keegan said.

"Same!" Ghost laughed.

"SAME!" Toad and Archer chorused.

Roach just made a face and poked Ghost's cheek. He laughed and covered his eyes.

"Go to sleep, you drunken turd."

He whined, trying really hard to keep his eyes open. Ghost clearly wasn't helping.

"'M no' drunk..." He mumbled.

Everyone laughed at that.

"Yes you are, Roach, so go to bed. The sooner you sleep, the sooner the hangover of death will be here..." Keegan said eerily.

Roach's eyebrows flew up and his unfocused eyes widened.

"The wha-"

Ghost covered his mouth.

"Shhh. Go to sleep." He said, literally laying on top of Roach.

It took all of his self control to avoid smiling at his expression. He tried to speak but the words were muffled behind Ghost's hand. He smiled and kissed his cheek, pulling his hand back.

"Not gon' go to slee... p..." Roach mumbled, his eyes closing against his will. This just wasn't fair.

Ghost laughed and patted him on the head.

"Sure you're not."

 ***5 Minutes Later...***

"Ugh, both of the couples are out." Merrick grumbled, looking up from his book and shaking his head in disapproval.

He was referring to Ghost and Roach, and the fairly new couple- Toad and Archer. Both were adorable together and suited each other well. And both were currently snuggling and out like lights. It was just too cute...

"What are we supposed to do now?" Kick asked boredly.

There was a pause. Then they all looked at each other with wicked grins.

"We take pictures, of course!" They cheered.

Let's just say there were a lot of pictures available for blackmail use after that day.

* * *

 **A/N: Lol, drunk Roach is just adorable. Hahaha... you know what happens next chapter, right? HANGOVER TIMEEEE! And more Logan. I'm trying to avoid putting too much Logan torture in this because I feel like you guys will get bored with it. And they will find him soon, by the way!**

 ***Also! Do NOT drink! It's okay every once in a while, but don't get addicted. Teachers and other adults aren't feeding you shit when they say it kills people and pulls families apart. And yes, I _do_ actually know how bad it is. My parents got divorced because of my dumbass alcoholic 'father' and I've never met him sober. So NO drinking! It's bad! BAD BAD BAD!***

 **Please review! ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello! I apologize for not focusing on the Ghosts more... but... but Roach and Ghost are just so CUTE! I can't stand NOT writing about them. But I suppose I will try to focus on the Ghosts more... after this. Although Roach has a checkup tomorrow that he can't miss. But I guess a few of the Ghosts could take him... yup, that works.**

 **OH... you're still here. Lol, but again, I apologize. And I also wanted you to know that I have no idea how to hack... so if the hacking parts are shitty, I apologize again. I should probably just apologize for my existence... yeah, that seems appropriate.**

 **I APOLOGIZE FOR MY EXISTENCE!**

 **Enjoy chapter 11! :)**

* * *

 **The Next Morning...**

Roach groaned and slowly sat up. He felt like shit. His head hurt like the worst migraine EVER, he was extremely nauseous, and to literally top it all off, someone was on top of him. He opened his eyes a bit and gasped at the light, quickly clamping them shut again with a miserable whine.

"Morning, Roach." Luke said cheerfully.

The others mumbled good mornings as well. He was confused... The only thing he remembered about last night was waking up in Luke's lap and... drinking some water. The rest was too blurry to recognize. Ghost muttered something and sat up a bit, smiling at Roach and kissing his nose.

"You should probably take some pain meds." He advised with a grin.

"I know... I think I have a migraine..."

"Nope, it's called a hangover." Kick laughed.

He scoffed and waved a hand at him.

"Nah, I don't drink, remember?"

Now everyone was smiling.

"If it makes you feel any better, it was an accident." Toad shrugged, laying across Archer's lap.

Archer just smiled and kissed his cheek.

"What was an accident? Seriously guys, this is getting annoying." Roach grumbled, putting an arm over his eyes to block out the light.

"Do you remember that umm... 'water' you chugged last night?" Archer giggled, using air quotes when he said water.

Roach just nodded, not seeing the gesture.

"Well that wasn't water. It was vodka. So, tada! You have a hangover." Keegan explained, trying to hold in his laughter.

Roach just laid there, completely still for about two minutes. He didn't even breathe... or at least it didn't look like it. Luke looked very concerned.

"I think he's de-"

"UGH! This is terrible! Now I'm just like JOHN! EWWW I FEEL DISGUSTING!" He cried, leaping from the couch and precariously swaying sideways.

Ghost grabbed him before he fell over.

"GHOST! LET'S GO TAKE A SHOWER! C'mon we need to hurry!" He yelled, pulling him away by the arm.

"Dude, chill. You're not like John." Merrick sighed.

"Yes I AM. I," he paused, sniffing his arm and recoiling in terror, "I even SMELL like him!"

"Gary Sanderson. Sit your ass down. You're not leaving until you look me in the eye and say you aren't like John." Luke ordered, sternly pointing to the spot next to him on the couch.

Roach stuck his tongue out at him.

"Who's gonna make me, bitch?"

Luke raised an eyebrow.

"I will!" Ghost announced, dragging him back to the couch.

"HEY! Nooo! If you do this, there will be NO steamy shower sex!" Roach screeched, causing Ghost to stop and let him go.

"Sorry guys, but you honestly have no idea how amazing that offer is." Ghost said with a shrug.

"Well that was just rude." Toad laughed.

Roach grinned and stumbled toward the door. But he never made it. Instead, he was knocked on his ass by Luke and dragged back to the couch. Luke stood over him and pointed at him, his finger mere centimeters from his nose.

"Say it." He ordered tersely.

"You're a dick."

"No."

"Yes you are. This is non negotiable."

Luke sighed deeply.

"Gary, I love you dearly. But I _will_ slap you if you don't say it." He threatened.

"Oh no, I'm gonna get slapped. That's so terrifying compared to what I've seen. Oh _nooo..."_ Roach said sarcastically with a smirk.

"I'll take you to a hospital."

His eyes widened.

"You would _not._ "

"And I will leave you there."

He thought it over for a few moments.

"Ugh, fine. I'm not like J... John..." He said the last word quietly, as if something bad would happen if he said it any louder.

Luke nodded and grabbed his arm, pulling him to his feet. He blinked several times, trying to make the room stop swaying.

"You have any... any pain meds? I'm dying..." He mumbled, scrunching his eyes shut.

"Yeah, gimme a sec." Keegan said, rifling through a bag that rattled with pills as he moved the containers around in search of pain meds.

He found a bottle after a moment and threw it to Ghost, who caught it and handed it to Roach.

"Thanks..."

He poured some out onto his hand and squinted at them.

Then he held them up to Ghost and asked, "How many's that?"

"Have you lost the ability to count?" He laughed in response.

"N-no... dizzy."

"Oh, now I understand. There's three."

He shrugged and handed the bottle of pills back to Ghost, who promptly gave it to Keegan. He swallowed them one at a time, trying not to puke as he did so. He was so nauseous... When he finished, he grabbed Ghost by the arm and staggered to the door.

"Peace out, peeps." He mumbled.

"You two still gonna have steamy shower sex?" Archer laughed, clearly picking on them.

Roach shrugged.

"I dunno... depends on how... how tired I am..." He answered through a yawn.

"Okay, you kids have fun." Luke grinned, giving them a thumbs up.

"But try to be quiet, would you? Luke needs silence to concentrate, not erotic moans and disturbing noises." Price grinned.

Roach just waved a hand at him and left with Ghost. Everyone else just sat there laughing for a while after they left, except for Luke, who was still hacking. He had almost cracked the system...

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V- Day Fifteen...**

I sighed shakily as Rorke paced around the table I was tied to. He reminded me of a shark circling its meal, just waiting for the right moment to attack.

"Okay, Junior. Today we're gonna talk about your mom." He said with a smirk that made me want to puke.

 _My mom? What about her? There's not much to talk about..._

"You _do_ know who killed her, right?" He asked, leaning against the table.

 _No one killed her... she died in child birth._

"The Ghosts killed her, Logan."

 _No they didn't._

"I bet they fed you some shit about her dying in child birth, didn't they?" He mused, twirling his pistol in his hand.

 _She died in child birth. She died in child birth. She died in child birth..._

"But no, they killed her off. I don't know why, but it's probably because they're all insane. You know that, right? They're all crazy."

 _No they're not._

"You don't believe me? Well think about it this way, Logan. I was on their team once. I did nothing wrong, but they left me to die. And now they've done the same to you. They just left you here, all alone, without a care in the world. I bet they aren't even looking for you." He spat, anger shining in his eyes.

 _They didn't leave me... they're still coming. They'll be here soon._

I tried to make myself believe that, but really I couldn't. If they hadn't come yet then obviously they weren't coming at all. Rorke was right... maybe they got tired of having to deal with me screwing everything up all the time. The thought only made it hurt more. To know that I had really been useless on the team hurt. To know that they abandoned me hurt even worse.

"Ah, see? You know that they abandoned you. Doesn't it make you mad?"

I thought about it for a moment. I had tried _so_ hard to be useful and not screw things up. I had worked my ass off... just to be abandoned in the end. When I _really_ thought about it, yes, it _did_ make me mad.

How could they do that to me? I thought they were my family. Hesh really _was_ my family. But apparently he didn't love me either. Suddenly all of my hurt turned into raging, boiling anger.

They shouldn't have left me. Why would they do that?! I was always loyal to them. I never _once_ thought of hurting any of them in any way, and then they just up and abandoned me.

Now I understood Rorke's anger towards them. I understood why he hunted them down. When I thought of hunting down Ghosts, the idea actually sounded appealing. They _abandoned_ me.

Why shouldn't I hunt them down? They deserve it after leaving me.

"It _does_ make you mad, doesn't it?" He grinned. "Well I say we team up and hunt them down together. Wouldn't that be fun?"

 _To be honest it does sound kinda fun... they did leave me here after all. _

_Wait. No! What the fuck am I thinking?! They're my friends! I shouldn't hunt them down!_

 _But they left me here..._

 _"_ C'mon Logan, you _know_ they don't care about you." Rorke said, running his knife down my chest alongside the infected gash Hesh had made a while back.

My breath caught in my throat when he sighed and pulled a syringe from his pocket. Oh shit... He forcefully turned my head and stabbed the needle into my neck. Ahhh, it stings... owww. I didn't feel so good...

Aaand suddenly Hesh was here again. Damn it! I had only seen him about 2 hours ago. Couldn't he just leave me the fuck alone?!

"Damn, Logan. Did you _really_ think we would waste our time coming to save someone as useless as you?" He sneered, grabbing my hair and yanking my head up.

Tears welled up in my eyes from how hard he was pulling and what he had said... mostly the latter.

 _I'm not useless..._

"Hell, you're the most incompetent soldier on our team. I still have no idea why they let you become a Ghost in the first place. All you ever do is get in the way."

My head began to pound from his painfully firm grip, although his words hurt more than anything. I mean, sure, he's said a whole bunch of shit to me over the past few weeks, but I've done my best to ignore it. Now I just didn't have the strength to do that anymore.

He's my big brother for fuck's sake! He's supposed to love me and protect me, not torture me and manipulate me to the point of a breakdown. He used to be so nice... what happened?

He used to love me and I always came to him for advice. When I was excited over something or upset, he was always the very first person I'd go to.

But now I hated being around him. He scared me to death. Every time he walked up to me or made quick movements, I flinched. I couldn't stand to be near him, much less would I go to him for advice.

And now he's saying my team wasn't coming to get me? That statement coming from Rorke was one thing, but my _brother_ saying it was completely different.

So the Ghosts really did abandon me. I've wasted all this time thinking, 'They'll be here' and 'They're coming soon', but really I've been wasting my time. I really am incompetent, aren't I? I felt anger rise in me once again at the thought. Tears slipped from my eyes and spilled down my cheeks.

They left me. After everything we've been through together. After everything I did for them. After all the missions and birthdays and holidays we've had together as a team, they just left me to die.

I guess this is what I get for being stupid enough to believe they actually loved me. They never loved me. The simple fact that they abandoned me proves that. Wow. They really abandoned me.

And they would regret it.

* * *

 **A/N: Yup, Logan's turned. Wow. The sadness. It's overwhelming! Uurrrrggggghhhh! So maybe I'll rewrite this... I don't know. Does anyone think it sucks enough for me to rewrite it? I mean, I've seen some _pretty_ bad stories before... I don't think this one is as bad as those. *not mentioning any names here* Lol, just kidding! But we all know there's some bad stories out there... **

**I hope you enjoyed this... hungover Roach/angsty Logan chapter. Btw, sorry it took me so long to get this out... I've been busy. Please review and tell me your thoughts! ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hi! I got 5 reviews last chapter! Yay! That was a nice thing to do, guys. Thanks. I love reviews! I think I'll add some Hesh into this chapter... we haven't seen him in a while. Justagenericusername suggested it! Thank you Justagenericusername for helping me out a lot! I appreciate it.**

 **Anyways, enjoy chapter 12! ;)**

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

I sighed as I carefully lowered myself onto the couch in the rec room. I glanced over at the other couch (our rec room was large and we had 3 of them) to see Ghost and Roach still asleep, snuggled up against each other as their chests slowly rose and fell. With Archer and Toad, it was the same. Both couples looked adorable...

It reminded me of when Logan was little and we'd sleep together after he had a nightmare. The thought brought tears to my eyes. Now Logan was gone... and it was all my fault. Today was the sixteenth day that he'd been gone. I've been worried sick each and every day.

My bullet wound was mostly healed up. Keegan had removed the stitches a couple days ago. It ached a bit, but other than that it felt fine. I haven't done much since I got back to base. I mostly just sat around feeling sorry for Logan. A tear slipped from my eye, rolling down my cheek.

I couldn't do much in the way of helping them find him. I couldn't hack... Logan was our team's tech specialist. Kick knows the basics of hacking but the system we need to crack is too complex for him to even understand.

Luke was doing just fine with the hacking. In fact, he predicts that he should be able to get a location by tomorrow if things go smoothly. I really hope they do. I can't stand to wait any longer. We need to get Logan away from that sick fuck as soon as possible. I couldn't bear to think about what they were doing to him... About how hurt he'll be when we finally get him back.

I refused to think of the possibility of them turning him. I didn't want to think of that. That wouldn't happen. It _couldn't._ He's a Ghost. Ghosts don't break... right? Oh, who am I kidding? I hope he doesn't think we abandoned him... we're going to come get him as soon as it's possible.

But we can't do that without a location. And to get a location, Luke has to get into the system, which will hopefully be done tomorrow.

I just hope we aren't too late...

* * *

(This bit at the beginning is for SpitfireUSN, as you keep dropping hints that Toad and Archer are your OTP... enjoy!)

Archer sighed in his sleep and snuggled closer to Toad, nuzzling his face into his warm chest. There was nowhere in the universe he would rather be right now. He could hear the faint clicking of computer keys as Luke typed codes into Roach's laptop. He hoped he was getting close... He missed Logan. They all did.

Toad shifted slightly and opened his eyes a crack. Archer grinned and kissed at his jaw line as he yawned.

"Mmmhhh... mornin'." Toad mumbled out, closing his eyes again.

"Don't go back to sleep, babe! You just woke up!" He complained, leaning forward slightly to capture his lips in a kiss.

Toad was still mostly asleep, but he kissed him back after a moment, smiling into it. But it only lasted for a few seconds because Soap yelled, "Get a room, ya twits!"

They both pulled back to glare at him.

"What? You two can go suck each other's faces off in your room." Price grinned.

Roach jumped when he heard yelling and sat up on his elbows, eyes searching the room for the problem. Ghost shoved him back down, saying something about pillows not being allowed to move.

Roach laid there, just staring at Ghost's face for a few minutes, admiring it. In contrast to Roach's skin, his was tan with a few freckles dotting his cheekbones and across his nose.

His eyes were a beautiful icy blue that was shocking when you compared them to his raven black hair. His eyes drifted lower, to his pale pink lips. They were pouty and he felt a strong urge to kiss at them...

"No, Roach! No smooching this early in the morning! Go back to sleep!" Luke yelled, whacking him on the head as he walked by.

"Owww..." He whined.

"You know the rules! No smooching... or having sex on the couch."

Ghost grumbled incoherently and shushed them.

"Ugh... Ghost, get off. I'm not tired anymore." Roach ordered, pushing at him.

The older man whined and latched onto him with more determination.

"Please?"

"Noooooo..."

"Why not?"

"Because you need sleep."

"I slept all night."

"But you need _more_ sleep."

"Nu uh."

"Shhh..."

"You're hiding something." Roach said suspiciously, poking his cheek.

"No I'm not." He grumbled.

Roach sat up slightly and glared at him.

"Yes you are! Tell me!"

"I'm not hiding anything." He laughed.

"Yes you are! I can see right through you! TELL MEEEEE!" Roach said excitedly, practically bouncing up and down beneath him.

"No! There's nothing to tell! Go the fuck to sleep!"

Ghost shoved a pillow in his face and gave Luke a look that said, 'help me'.

"Roach, you're sleep deprived and delusional. Go to sleep." Luke ordered, not looking up from the computer screen.

Roach shoved the pillow back at Ghost and made a face.

"I am _not_..." He pouted.

"Yes you are. But I still love you." Ghost laughed, kissing at his lips.

"Oi! I said NO smooching!"

"Nobody cares, Luke." Roach grumbled, waving a hand at him.

"Whatever. But you need to get dressed and fix your hair. You're going somewhere today with Kick and Keegan. And Ghost... as long as you refrain from smooching."

"Ummm... okay, but where's 'somewhere'?"

"That's the fun part! It's a secret. You find out when you get there."

"Nope, I'm not going."

"Yes you are! Now be happy! Let's go fix your hair!" Luke said cheerfully, setting the laptop aside and skipping over to Roach.

"Okay! But only after I know where we're going."

"No, it's a surprise." He grinned, pulling a sleepy Ghost into a sitting position and dragging Roach out from under him.

"Well I don't _like_ surprises!" Roach cried, digging his heels into the floor as Luke dragged him from the room.

"Well I don't _care_ _!"_ Came the reply from out in the hall.

"Hehehe..." Ghost giggled.

Everyone gave him weird looks.

"Dude, go back to sleep." Merrick laughed.

Ghost looked at him confusedly.

"But whyyyy?" He asked through a yawn.

"Because you're still half asleep." Keegan said, pushing him over as he walked by.

He giggled wildly and fell over onto the couch.

"You're very strange, Ghost."

"I know."

"So has anybody heard anything new on Luke getting into the system?" Kick asked, looking around at everyone.

"I heard he should be in by tomorrow..." Hesh said quietly.

"Really?!"

He nodded.

"That's the best thing ever! It's so dull around here without Logan!" Kick cheered.

"Yeah, I know!"

"I hope he's okay..." Merrick mumbled.

"Ummm... I don't know how to tell you this, but he's with Rorke. He probably won't be okay. But we'll love on him until he _is_ okay! Then everything will be fine." Ghost smiled.

"Yup. I'm gonna spoil him to death." Soap laughed.

"You can spoil him... but not to death." Hesh sighed.

Roach walked into the room with his arms crossed, Luke right behind him.

"I'm not going until I know where it is!" He argued firmly.

"Yes you are because I'll buy you stuff."

"No, Luke. I'm not going."

"Please?! C'mon, your appointment is in like 30 minutes!"

Roach looked sharply at him.

"Appointment?" He growled.

"Yes, appointment. You had an appendectomy performed on you about a week ago, it's common procedure for them to schedule a follow up appointment to ensure there are no complications." Luke explained.

"No, I'm not going."

"It won't even take long! They're just gonna look you over and ask how you've been feeling since the surgery. You can survive that, can't you?"

"Well why can't you do it if it's that simple?! You're a nurse! You _know_ why I don't like hospitals, Luke!"

"I can't do it because I have no idea what to look for! I worked in the ICU, Gary. I don't know how to deal with appendectomy patients, because I've only ever had two, both of which Mary dealt with instead. And I'm aware of why you don't like hospitals but I figured you could deal with being there for 15 minutes and leaving!"

"You know damn well it won't be that short! I'll be stuck there for hours while creepy doctors touch me all over and bug me! Then Alyss will show up and I'll have a fucking panic attack and it'll all go downhill from there! I'm not going, that's final!" He yelled, storming from the room.

Luke sighed and sat down, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Ghost got up and ran after Roach, who had gone God only knows where. The room was filled with silence for several minutes.

Keegan hesitantly broke it.

"Uhhh... who's Alyss?" He asked quietly.

"His mother who sadly died in a hospital, which is why he won't go. When he was 11 his father took him to the hospital to see Alyss, who had cancer and was receiving chemotherapy. But they walked in and she had flat lined... the hospital was so busy that day that no one had noticed until they walked in. There was nothing anyone could do. Then John started drinking and, well you know the rest." He explained quietly.

"Damn... his life is really sad." Kick said, scratching his head.

"It's a good thing he has Ghost..." Archer pointed out.

"Yeah, I'm glad he does too."

"True," Luke sighed, grabbing the laptop to continue hacking, "I can't make him go though. I suppose he seems fine anyways..."

"I doubt there'll be any complications. He hasn't had any before now, so the chances of him having any in the future are small." Archer said with a nod.

"I hope he's not too upset." Toad commented.

"Oh, he is. But Ghost will cheer him up. I honestly don't know how he manages that." Merrick grumbled.

"You catch on after a while. But anyways, I'm almost in. You should be able to gear up and go get Logan tomorrow morning if there are no further setbacks."

"No _further_ setbacks?"

"Yup. There have been a bunch. You owe me for this."

"Oka-"

"Just kidding! I love you guys."

"Hah, love you too bro." Toad said, hugging him.

"I'm so glad we're finally gonna save Logan! I really miss the kid..." Merrick grinned.

"Wow, Merrick. I'm gonna tell him you said that, and I bet he'll laugh at you." Kick teased.

Merrick pouted.

"That's not very nice."

"Well _you're_ not very nice."

"Nobody cares, guys. So shut up." Ghost smiled, carrying a bundle of blankets with Roach's face peeking out of them into the room.

"What happened to Roachie?" Toad asked, ruffling his hair as Ghost sat down.

"Apparently he was grumpy because he was tired... or something like that."

He narrowed his eyes accusingly and crossed his arms.

"You knocked him out, didn't you?"

Ghost laughed nervously and waved a hand at him.

"You're ridiculo- yes I did." He admitted.

"Why?"

"Cause he's gonna miss his appointment! Let's go!" He cheered, running from the room with a laughing Keegan and Kick following behind.

* * *

 **A/N: Lol... so next chapter will (probably) be about the rescue of Logan!... who won't be very happy, but he can suck it up! Poor Roach... waaahhh. And I know I need to focus on the Ghosts more (that's code for you guys can stop saying that now).**

 **But c'mon guys! We're only a dozen chapters into the story and you _know_ how long I could draw this out for. Which I will probably do because let's just admit it, Logan needs some serious help now. **

**Anyways, please review! ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Ugh... I feel awful... for womanly reasons. *awkward silence***

 **ANYWAYS, this is gonna be interesting. I have absolutely no idea how I'm gonna do this, but I'll try my best! Please be nice to me...**

 **Justagenericusername helped me a TON with this story! Thank you for that, by the way! I was stuck... But you helped me and now everything's back on track. :)**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V- Day sixteen...**

Damn it. I feel like I'm going to die. Well... at this point I might _rather_ die. Every single inch of my body throbbed and burned as if it was on fire. And I had no idea where Rorke had snuck off to... which worried me.

He just left me tied to the table and went somewhere with no explanation. I was exhausted and my eyes kept closing but I was scared to go to sleep. I was nervous that as soon as I dozed off, he would show up out of nowhere and dump freezing cold water on me just like all the other times.

But I was more scared of Hesh. He hadn't showed up in a while and that was a terrible thing. Not that I liked it when he came, but at least then I knew I wouldn't see him again for a while. Now I had no idea when he would show up and that was terrifying.

Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of him. Partly because after the talk me and Rorke recently had, thinking of any of the Ghosts made uncontrollable rage boil up in me.

And the other part was that he scared me. Even the thought of him made me so nervous that my breathing sped up... But yet I was _so_ angry with him at the same time.

I was confused. I knew why I was mad at him. Because he hurt me (emotionally and physically), but also because he was on the Ghost team. I hate the Ghosts. They killed my mom. Well, according to Rorke. But he wasn't that bad... it was crazy, I was actually beginning to trust him a bit.

I wasn't sure why... he just... suddenly seemed like an okay person. I understood him now. He had been abandoned too... and he said he'd help me get revenge on the Ghosts for ditching me, which sounded extremely satisfying. I grinned at the thought of it, jumping in fright when the door suddenly burst open.

I then spent the next 45 seconds trying not to cry from the pain that spiked throughout my body because of the small movement. Heavy footsteps approached the table and I had been here long enough to recognize them easily. It was Rorke.

"We're going on a little trip, Junior. And as soon as you're well enough to get around, we're gonna start getting revenge on the Ghosts." He smirked, flicking the syringe in his hand to get rid of air bubbles.

I only got a few words out of that... I was finally steady enough to open my eyes and I anxiously glanced around the room. I realized he was standing right above me and jumped again with a gasp.

Well that hurt. I was honestly wondering if I was on fire now... ouch. He ran a hand through my hair and I winced as my head throbbed in time with my heartbeat. It literally felt like I had a huge bass drum in my head.

"But for now you're gonna go to sleep. You need to recover and it's going to be a long ride anyways." He explained, putting a hand on my head and inserting the needle into my neck.

I shivered when I felt a cool liquid enter me. He rolled the table through the door and down the hall while talking to his men on the radio. But it was in a weird dialect of Spanish and even if it was in a language I could understand, I was too out of it to listen anyways. I was trying not to fall asleep. I wanted to know where the hell we were going...

Another wave of exhaustion washed over me and I decided that figuring out our destination could wait until later.

I allowed my eyes to close and was asleep in seconds.

* * *

Roach could hear faint voices speaking nearby. He inhaled deeply only to stop halfway through the breath. He knew that smell. It was the smell of a hospital... ugh. This is terrible. He felt his heart speed up in panic and had to fight to keep his breathing steady. He exhaled slowly and tried to stay calm.

He listened intently and tried to picture the area he was in. Nurses bustling from room to room, checking on patients... medical equipment everywhere... He was in a hospital bed.

The smell of hospital had caused him to picture that sort of scene, but in reality he was in the Ghosts' rec room. Not that he knew that.

Okay. He could do this. He just needed to haul ass and escape as soon as possible. And the best way to do that was to run as if a ravenous lion was chasing him. Yup. That's a perfect plan. He silently counted down in his head.

 _3..._

 _2..._

 _1..._

His eyes snapped open and he leapt from the hospital bed, bolting for the door.

"Roach! No!" Ghost cried, jumping up to run after him.

He was already out the door and halfway down the hall. That's when it hit him. He wasn't in the hospital. He had been in the rec room. He skidded to a stop, causing Ghost to bump into him, efficiently knocking them both to the floor in a heap of limbs.

His side burned but he ignored it, focusing on the glaring face of his boyfriend instead.

"Roach, you can't run like that! You'll tear your side open and-"

"Why do you smell like hospital?" He asked suspiciously, pointing an accusing finger at him as he sat up.

Ghost looked at the floor, avoiding his gaze. Roach narrowed his eyes and sniffed at his own shirt as well. He made a disgusted face.

"And why the bloody _hell_ do I smell like hospital?!" He shrieked.

"Because you made it to your appointment!" Luke grinned from the doorway of the rec room.

Roach turned to glare at him with fiery eyes.

"Well I don't remember doing that." He grumbled, crossing his arms.

"That would be because Ghost totally knocked you out." Kick laughed, peeking his head out of the doorway to see what was going on.

Roach shoved Ghost back down when he tried to stand and left, probably to take a shower.

"Roach! Don't leave me! Come baaack!" Ghost whined, reaching for him with a pout.

Roach didn't come back until half an hour went by.

Everyone else had returned to the rec room at this point, deciding to let him blow off some steam. So, half an hour later he returned with wet hair and nothing on but the towel wrapped around his waist.

Luke continued to type on the laptop while everyone else stared at Roach... but mostly his abs. They all tried to ignore the hundreds of scars that covered his shoulders and toned stomach.

"Okay Roach, I admit you have very nice abs. You've made your point. Go get dressed!" Archer sighed, making shooing motions at him.

Roach ignored him.

"Ghost... where are my clothes? I couldn't find them..." He whined, sheepishly looking at the floor.

Ghost grinned devilishly and laughed.

"Why didn't you just steal mine?" He asked curiously.

"Because they smell like you and I was trying to stay mad at you... But it's hard."

"Okay, fair enough. They're in my suitcase... with my clothes. So yeah, I think all the clothes we have smell like me. Sorry." He grinned.

Roach sighed and left the room once more without a word. Most of them cringed when they saw his back, which was covered with whip scores. Holy shit...

"You know Ghost, if he wasn't your boyfriend I would steal him." Kick sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

"That's not allowed." He laughed.

"I know... but I _love_ his abs! I just wanna poke them! Just once, damn it!"

"To be honest he would probably let you. He's a ho." Luke laughed.

"That's true." Roach sighed, shuffling into the room.

He laid across Ghost's lap as usual and closed his eyes, tired even though he had only woken up about an hour ago.

"You still mad at me?" Ghost asked, running a hand through his damp hair.

He shook his head and mumbled, "I tried."

Suddenly Luke gasped and stood up, his face bright with happiness.

"What is it?" Hesh asked, hoping for a location on Logan.

 _Please please please let us find him..._

"I got a location!" He cried.

"Where?!" Everyone asked in unison.

"Lebanon, Kansas."

* * *

 **A/N: Ha... hahaha... I'm tired. If I say some weird ass shit, no one's allowed to pick on me later. *yawns* Goodness. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chappie. A _LOT_ of things are gonna happen soon. I'm serious. **

**Please review! ;)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello! I'm bored... goodbye! Love you guys! :)**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I woke up to the droning, seemingly never-ending sound of helicopter rotors. My entire body still throbbed... but it was somehow less intense. Why did I feel a bit better? My best answer to that question was that I had pain meds in me.

It also explained why I was so tired and felt kinda like I was floating. Ugh... I hate that sensation. I groaned when I opened my eyes slightly, only to be met with sunlight.

Damn it. I hate the sun now. I heard some shuffling and looked up, a cold rag falling from its position on my forehead from the movement.

Rorke sighed and picked it up, soaking it in cold water from a bucket before placing it in its original spot.

"Keep still. I don't want you tearing your stitches. And you should go back to sleep, we've still got a ways to go." He advised, checking the IV in my arm to make sure I hadn't ripped it out while he wasn't looking.

I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering where we were going. I glanced at Rorke again and tried to ask, but all that came out was a strangled cry. My voice was raw, cracked, and dry. I probably wouldn't be speaking properly for at least a few days.

"No, Logan. Don't try to speak, just go to sleep." He ordered.

I wheezed in a shallow breath and my ribs burned in protest. I couldn't hold back the whimper that flew past my lips. If it hurt that bad when I took a shallow breath, I didn't even want to think about how taking a deep breath would feel.

I didn't even notice when Rorke injected something into my IV line.

I sat there for a few more minutes, until I was pulled into the land of unconsciousness once again.

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

I sighed as I sat down in the back of the helicopter, waiting for dust off. Riley hopped up into the heli and laid down against my legs. I patted him on the head with a fond smile. The others piled in after us, most of them nervously fiddling with their equipment. What was left of our team was coming, as well as a few of the 141 members.

Those few included- Soap, Price, and Ghost. We wanted some backup because we had no idea how many Feds would be guarding the base.

Roach, of course, had argued. He hated being separated from Ghost. But Luke refused to let him go because he didn't want him tearing open his side. He was pissed, but had listened for once. I smiled slightly. Roach was crazy and rebellious, but he was a good friend.

I'm really hoping we'll find Logan, but... something feels off. I don't know what it is and I couldn't possibly explain it, but for some reason I feel like Logan won't be there... What if he isn't? What if Rorke grabbed him and ran off? I shuddered at the thought. That would be horrible.

I don't care how many Feds we have to take down to get to him, as long as he's there waiting for us when we finally reach him. I looked up and Ghost sat down beside me with a small grin.

"You okay?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"I will be when he's safe back home."

He nodded his understanding and was quiet for a while. I felt the helicopter begin its ascent and glanced out the window. Red, orange, and yellow trees flew by us, creating a beautiful blur of colors.

Autumn was Logan's favorite season. He loved all the pretty colors and jumping in piles of leaves. I felt tears rise in my eyes as I remembered last year...

 ** _Flashback..._ **

_I walked outside, sighing as I felt the chilly autumn air bite at my cheeks. I decided to take a walk and went into the woods, enjoying the beautiful trees. After walking for about 10 minutes, I heard a laugh behind me and suddenly a huge pile of leaves was thrown at me._

 _"Haha! I got ya!" Logan giggled, his head poking out from behind a tree._

 _He looked so cute, all bundled up in his winter clothes. I smiled and leaned down, grabbing a large handful of leaves and running after him. He squealed and ran away, diving behind a tree and reappearing with leaves a moment later._

 _"I'm gonna get you." I laughed, lunging for him._

 _We chased each other around for a while, throwing leaves all over the place. He eventually tackled me into a huge pile of them._

 _"Yay! I... win." He huffed through pants for breath._

 _"No... you don't." I stated, biting his arm._

 _He yelped and leapt back and I tackled him, burying him in leaves as soon as he was down. He couldn't stop laughing and neither could I. After a few minutes, he was completely covered in leaves, all except for his face. He scrunched up his nose._

 _"Not cool, dude. Not cool." He sighed, shaking his head and causing several leaves to fall from the pile._

 _I_ _laughed and poked his red nose._

 _"I win."_

I hurriedly wiped the tears from my cheeks before the others noticed. Little did I know they had already seen them. I sighed sadly and leaned against the seat, hoping to find sleep.

* * *

 **Several Hours Later...**

I awoke with a jolt when I heard the pilot's voice crackle over the speakers.

"ETA 5 minutes."

Merrick stood up and quickly gained everyone's attention.

"Alright. You all know Logan may or may not still be here, so don't get your hopes up. Other than that, you know the drill. Make sure you have everything you need." He instructed.

We nodded silently, all wondering the same thing.

 _Was Logan still here?_

The last few minutes of the ride were quiet, other than the droning sound of the helicopter rotors. We slowly descended about 3 miles from the location Luke got. We didn't want them knowing of our presence.

We exited the helicopter a few at a time, the leaves crunching beneath our feet. Riley licked my hand and sat down beside me, waiting for us to move. Keegan caught my eye with a look that silently asked, 'Are you gonna be okay?'

I simply nodded and followed the others.

We set a brisk pace and neared the base about 20 minutes later. It was odd. My stomach dropped when I noticed that the forest animals were fairly loud.

Normally if they lived near a large base full of people, they were quiet. But their activity pointed in the direction of this base being abandoned.

I shook my head. It couldn't be. Logan was there. He _had_ to be.

As we neared the tree line Merrick held up a hand, signaling for us to stop. I listened intently, but there was nothing to be heard other than the chirping of birds.

I saw the look of disappointment on his face, as well as Price and MacTavish. Keegan just looked sympathetic and Kick seemed like he wanted to cry.

Logan wasn't here. Hell, _no one_ was here. Damn it. I should've known Rorke would do this. Should've known he would toy with us like this. I felt rage boil up in me, but shoved it back down. Now wasn't the time. There could be clues in there... we needed to go look.

Merrick sighed and signaled for us to continue. We approached the large chain link fence that surrounded the perimeter and I looked up, noting that it wasn't electric. Huh.

There was no entrance in sight. The rest of us waited while Kick created a large hole in the fence with pliers. It was much easier than searching for a proper entrance.

We were in after a few minutes and this place gave me the chills. It was really creepy... the perfect place for Rorke to hole up in. Now we were positive that no one was here. I sighed in disappointment and felt my heart plummet.

 _Logan..._ _I miss you..._

Riley whined quietly and I petted him.

"It's okay, boy."

"God, this place is creepy..." Kick muttered, shaking his head.

I felt like I was going to be sick when we found a deep hole in the ground. We all knew that during Rorke's breaking process, he was kept in a pit in the ground. The only thing I could picture was Logan, sitting at the bottom covered in blood and injuries.

The image made my stomach coil into knots of anxiety. There was some blood at the bottom and knowing it was my little brother's made my heart ache. The foul stench of shit and piss coming from the dreadful pit didn't help ease my worry.

"This is some fucked up shit..." Merrick sighed, shaking his head.

We continued on, heading for the first building. There were four in total, but they were all one story and not that large. Merrick paused and turned back to the rest of us.

"We're splitting up. Price and MacTavish take the first building. Keegan and Hesh, second. Ghost and Kick, third. I'll take the last one with Riley." He ordered.

We all nodded and went to our instructed locations. I followed Keegan to the second building and we found the door. It wasn't even locked. He carefully opened it, and surprisingly nothing happened.

We had been suspicious because they hadn't bothered to lock it, but oddly enough, nothing bad happened. He raised an eyebrow in question, then shrugged and cautiously entered. I silently walked after him, my eyes roaming the hallway we came into.

It looked like there was a total of three rooms here, so we went into the first one on the right. Before doing anything else, we carefully searched the room to make sure we wouldn't get jumped by anyone who might be hiding there.

But no one was here. This was disturbing. The room had a table in the far corner, which was half filled with torture devices. Although the ones on the table were covered in dried blood and looked to be somewhat old.

 _Rorke must have taken his favorites and the newer ones with him..._

In the center of the room, there was a metal table with restraints. I shuddered when in my mind, Logan appeared on the table. My stomach lurched. He was covered in injuries ranging from large gashes to whip scores.

It was horrifying. He looked at me with teary eyes that begged me to save him... but I couldn't. I shook my head and he disappeared.

Keegan looked concerned, but didn't say anything to me. The restraints were bloody and worn with age. The floor had blood stains splattered onto it, and the walls had a bit as well. I couldn't help but wonder if that was Logan's blood... Who am I kidding, of course it's Logan's blood.

"You see anything useful?" Keegan asked, looking around the room.

I shook my head in response, not trusting my voice.

"Okay, let's search the next room."

I nodded agreement and we quietly went to the second room. In here there was a metal chair, a car battery, and some rope. There was blood everywhere in here too... it made me feel terrible because I knew I could've prevented this.

If only I had been stronger... I could have spared Logan from all this pain. After a few minutes, Keegan shook his head and we silently crossed the hall to enter the final room.

I was shocked when I realized it was empty. Keegan seemed to be caught off guard too. We stood uncertainly in the doorway for a moment, caught between entering and not entering.

Then something on the far side of the room caught my attention. I strolled through the door and picked it up. I felt bile rise in my throat when I realized what it was. I quickly gave it to Keegan, who had been standing behind me, and ran out into the hallway.

My stomach heaved again just as I stepped out of the room. I retched and threw an arm out against the wall to support myself as I swayed. Foul smelling chunks of food and stomach acid splattered onto the floor and I stood there for a moment, catching my breath.

I dry heaved a few times, then spat the rest of it out. I tried to wipe the tears from my cheeks, but they just kept coming.

It was a flash drive.

* * *

 **A/N: Whooooo... long chapter. And just to explain, Hesh was so upset over the flash drive because he knows there's gonna be some fucked up recordings of Logan being tortured on there. And he was right, there shall be! Btw, sorry it took me like 5 days to get this out... I didn't really know what to write.**

 **BUT Justagenericusername helped me! Yay!**

 **And Marioexpertken is awesome too! You should totally go read his story 'Between Worlds' it's really cool even though he hasn't updated in a while... *HINT* *HINT***

 **Anywho, I worked hard on this crap! So please review! Please! *puppy dog eyes***


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hi guys! This is gonna get real angsty real soon... I'M EXCITED! I'm sorry, but I just LOVE angst! I don't know why, but I do.**

 **Justagenericusername is like my muse for this story, honestly. She helps me out all the time, which is MUCH appreciated! Thank you!**

 **Enjoy chapter 15! ;)**

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

I was so tired. Tired of Logan being gone. Tired of the thorn in my side known as Rorke. Tired of everything. And now, hah, _now_ the bastard had left us a flash drive. A fucking _flash drive._

I knew what would be on there. I didn't want to watch it, but at the same time I desperately wanted to know how bad Logan's condition was.

I needed to mentally prepare myself for when we rescued him. Prepare myself for all the injuries he will undoubtedly have sustained. I sighed and let my head fall against the wall of the helicopter behind me with a dull _thud._

Everyone kept throwing me worried glances and it was really getting on my nerves. Merrick had decided that we would all watch what was on the flash drive when we got back to base, which was like torture for me.

I wanted to see it _now_ , but no, apparently we _all_ have to see it. I huffed in annoyance. That asshole... Kick looked at me with these sympathetic eyes that made me want to poke them out.

 _"What?"_ I growled, sending him a murderous glare. If looks could kill...

He immediately looked away, knowing full well that I wasn't afraid to hit him if he didn't stop. Merrick gave me a look.

"Settle down, Hesh" He sighed.

Merrick felt bad for him as well, but couldn't do much about it. He knew that Hesh wanted to see what was on the flash drive now. But then they'd have to watch it again later so the others could see, which would probably just upset him more. So he truly wasn't trying to be an ass, but damn, the kid was in one hell of a mood...

I glared at him. Well shit. Obviously he had no intention of 'settling down'. When he thought about it though, Hesh had been very quiet up until now. He realized that he had been shoving all of his emotions down, and now he was about to explode because of it.

"No, Merrick. I'm not going to fucking calm down! What would you do if that was your little brother out there?!" I spat, pointing in the general direction of the base we had just left.

"Hes-"

"No! You don't understand! I've protected him my _entire_ life and then he was just dragged off by this evil motherfucking psycho right in front of me! You will _never_ know how _empty_ it feels! Then, oh, _then_ that bastard has the nerve to leave a _fucking_ flash drive behind!" I yelled, tears glistening in my eyes.

"I kno-"

"No you _don't!_ I want you to fucking picture it, Merrick! You've cared for your little brother from the moment he was born! Then Rorke kills your father right in front of you! BAM! He's gone! All you have left is your little brother! You love him more than anything!"

"Hey-" Keegan tried, but was interrupted.

"Then he takes him too, just for kicks! And now he's sent you a flash drive with fucking v-videos of him being tortured! WHAT THE F-FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO, MERRICK?!" I cried, burying my face in my hands and crying harder than ever.

Everyone was silent. No one knew what to say. Then Merrick sighed and got up, walking over and sitting beside me. He wrapped an arm around my shaking form and pulled me close, running a hand through my hair.

"Everything's gonna be okay."

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I slowly clawed my way through the annoying fog of unconsciousness and gradually began to wake up. The pungent smell of disinfectant was thick in the air and I scrunched up my nose in distaste. I hate that smell.

I jumped in surprise when I felt a cool hand on my unbroken arm. My eyes snapped open, allowing spots to dance across my vision from the painful movement.

"Don't move. You'll hurt yourself." Rorke chastened.

Too late, I already did. I moved around restlessly, ignoring the throbbing that constantly ran throughout my body. I hated having to stay in bed. Well... I hated staying still in general, but I disliked it even more when it was because I was injured.

He left the room for a few minutes, leaving me alone to wonder where we were. I also wondered about when we were gonna get back at those traitorous Ghosts...

He returned with a tray of food and I felt my stomach lurch. When the smell reached my nose, I gagged. I didn't want to eat. It was probably poisoned anyways. He sat down beside my bed with a grin.

"It's not that bad. Just a few bites, yeah?" He asked, moving a spoonful of mashed potatoes in front of my mouth.

I felt bile rise in my throat and hurriedly turned away. No. Food is bad. It hurts after I eat it. No, no, no.

"C'mon, it's not poisoned. You need to get a bit better if you want to get the Ghosts."

That caught my attention. That was an extremely tempting offer... But I already hurt so bad all over. I refused to imagine how bad I would feel if I ate the food. Food is bad.

"Logan. This is the last time I'm gonna ask nicely." He growled, causing me to shake slightly in fear.

I hesitantly opened my mouth and allowed him to put the food in. With _great_ difficulty, I swallowed it... and puked it back up not even 5 minutes later.

 **The Next Day...**

I woke up and could tell I was in a car. I sighed and slowly turned my head to see Rorke, who was driving up front. I idly wondered where we were going, but wasn't too stressed over it.

I knew I would get my answer when we arrived. I boredly fidgeted in the seat. He had laid me down across it and strapped me down, and that made me nervous.

"Quit moving." He ordered sternly.

I stubbornly shook my head. Rorke sighed in frustration and shot me a glare through the mirror, causing me to nervously shrink back away from him.

"Listen kid, if you sit still I'll let you have some fun when we get to where we're goin'."

What kind of 'fun' was he talking about? My question was answered when we arrived at our destination half an hour later. Surprisingly, it was a house. A normal, regular looking house out in the countryside. Rorke pulled the keys from the ignition and closed the door.

After a moment he opened the door on my side and unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Come on. Get out." He ordered tersely.

I groaned as the sunlight stabbed into my eyes, making my head pound. I gave a half hearted attempt at sitting up, but nearly screamed as my injuries pulled. A hand clamped over my mouth, silencing me.

"Shut up! He'll hear you and you'll break our cover!"

I pulled in short gasps for breath behind his hand. My ribs burned... He removed it after a moment and sat down beside me.

"Okay. The plan is, you go up and knock on that door," he explained, gesturing to the house, "And say something about your team being in a serious accident and needing help."

I gave him a weird look. What the hell? He ignored my expression and continued.

"Then just let him take you inside and clean you up or whatever, and I'll take care of the rest. Got it?"

"What y-you gon' do?" I asked quietly, fighting back the coughing fit that tried to rise in my throat.

"I'm gonna kill him."

My eyes widened and he sighed.

"You said you wanted to get revenge on the Ghosts for dumping you, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, this house belongs to Kick's dear old father. You'll be the distraction and I'll kill him. We're gonna make them all watch as we destroy their families, and they'll be the last to go. Now do you understand?" He asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

Oh... this is... bad. I- this man is innocent! I didn't _want_ to bother him! He didn't abandon me with Hesh! The Ghosts did, and only _they_ deserved to be punished. Not their relatives who probably didn't even know about it!

Rorke saw my hesitation and glared at me. He pulled a large knife from its sheath at his waist and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye. I nearly fell off the seat when I saw the knife. I started shaking from fear as he brought it impossibly close to my eye.

"You listen to me, Logan. You're going to go up to that house and be a distraction while I deal with Kick's father. You're gonna do it without _any_ hesitation because they left you behind! They abandoned you. They deserve this. Now, come on! Get your ass up there!" He yelled, scaring me into action.

He picked me up and pulled me from the car, sending me toward the front door with a shove. Tears blurred my vision as my injuries burned. It felt like someone was stabbing me. Repeatedly. I bit my lip so hard that I felt blood fill my mouth but it helped me stay quiet, so I didn't care.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I knocked on the door. I didn't want to do this. This man was innocent. This was wrong. My stomach twisted into knots as I heard the man say he's coming. _No no no..._

Kick's father opened the door with a smile that faded when he saw me.

"Oh my god! What the hell happened to you?!" He cried, his eyes running over me from head to toe.

"I-I'm Logan... a friend of Kick's. I was in a-an accident... and you w-were the closest p-p-person..." I stuttered, struggling to get enough air into my lungs to speak.

He immediately understood and pulled me inside.

 _He was nice enough to take me in like this. This is wrong._

"Here, lay down." He said, pushing me onto a couch. "I'm gonna get a few things..."

I sighed, feeling more guilty than I ever had in my entire life. This isn't right. No. He's just a sweet old guy who's trying to help me, and I'm about to get him killed. That's unacceptable! That's a _terrible_ thing to do! I had to stop this. It's wrong. I couldn't let this happen.

Yes, it would hurt the Ghosts. But it would be taking the life of an innocent man for my own personal revenge, and that's just not fair. No. It's worse than simply _not fair_. It's barbaric. I stood up and searched for the man, ignoring the spikes of pain that incessantly ran through my body.

That's when I heard it. The slight _click_ of the hammer of a gun being pulled back. Kick's father was standing a few feet away. I leapt in front of him, hearing the gunshot and feeling the intense burn of a bullet ripping through my flesh.

We landed on the floor and I felt the warmth spread across my shoulder, dripping onto the floor. The bullet had lodged itself in my left shoulder. I felt Kick's father move me off of him and heard him run off.

 _Good. Run. Get away..._ I thought, hoping he would escape.

I heard several more gunshots and assumed Rorke was still attempting to kill him off. I hope he's okay...

Heavier footsteps rang in my ears as a furious Rorke approached me. I moaned in pain and doubled over as a boot hit me square in the stomach. I didn't have the energy to scream anymore.

"Damn you! Look what you've done, asshole! He got away, and it's all _your_ fault!" He yelled, kicking me again and causing me to cough up blood.

At this point blood was pouring from the bullet wound. I could swear it was on fire. It hurt so _bad_ but the rest of my body did too, which in an odd way, made the pain lessen slightly in that particular area.

Spots ran across my vision and the world began to fade, even Rorke's enraged voice ranting on and on about how terrible I was.

Everything went black.

* * *

 **A/N: Well that was long... a lot happened, too. Wow. I must say, I am proud. I _really_ am proud of this chapter. Poor Hesh! He had like... an emotional breakdown. And Logan! Oh man! He got shot in the shoulder... and yelled at... and kicked repeatedly in the stomach. **

***music* It's the hard-knock life for us...**

 **Lol, I couldn't resist. I'm sorry. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this super angsty chapter! Please review! ;D**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hi! Justagenericusername and Boopem are fantastic. They're literally the only ones who bothered to review on chapter 15... *sigh* Guys, it takes like ten seconds. Even just saying a 'nice chapter' makes my day! Seriously.**

 ***cries***

 **So sad...**

 **Btw, the events in this chapter are several hours after Logan got shot.**

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

Watching the videos on the flash drive was terrifying. I was so nervous. We sat down on the couch and Roach projected it up onto the big screen. It seemed like footage from security cameras.

I immediately recognized the pit we had seen at the base. A small figure was huddled at the bottom, covered in blood and dirt. His right arm was obviously broken, twisted at an odd angle and swollen.

My stomach dropped when I realized that was my baby brother. I looked at the top right corner of the screen and it said that it was Logan's 5th day there. I couldn't believe that after only five days he looked so awful. Tears gathered in my eyes. This is all my fault...

We thought there was no sound at first, but then a few guards entered the pit. Logan jumped at the noise of the door opening and closing. He stood to face them with a glare.

"The fuck do you want, assholes?" He snarled.

One of them grinned, set down a tray of food, and left. The other stayed and shoved him up against the dirt wall, pinning him there with his hands on either side of his head.

"You no speak to me like that! You are nothing!" He teased in a heavily accented voice.

Logan turned and bit his arm, blood spurting out as his teeth severed the vein. The guard screamed and grabbed his arm, trying to stop the blood from spilling onto the ground. Logan let go, quickly silencing him by snapping his neck with a loud _crack._

"Oh shit. Logan's gonna get in trouble..." Toad said with a frown.

The guard that had left a few minutes ago rushed back into the room, only to have his dead partner thrown out the door at him. He screamed in terror and ran inside, pistol in hand. Logan was hiding behind the door and slammed it in his face when he was in the doorway.

He slumped to the ground and he quickly grabbed his gun, checking the clip to see if it was loaded. He nodded to himself and was in the middle of patting the guard down when he was tackled by none other than Gabriel Rorke.

The larger man practically laid on top of him, which looked very bad because Logan had no clothes on. He struggled to get out from under him until he could barely breathe. When he finally stilled, Rorke grinned and spoke.

"Damn, you're a lot of trouble. How many guards have you killed now, huh?" He asked with a laugh, running his fingers along a cut in his shoulder.

"Suck it up, cause they'll all be dead soon." He growled in response.

Rorke smirked and said, "You go ahead and keep thinkin' that, Junior."

 _Next Video- Day 7..._

Logan was in a room now, gagged and in restraints on a metal table. He looked much worse than he had in the last video, even though it had only been two days. My breath caught in my throat and Keegan hugged me. I watched over his shoulder as Rorke entered the room.

"Morning Junior. Have a nice nap?" He asked, grabbing a syringe from a table on the far side of the room.

He was filling it with something purple... I didn't like it. It looked bad. Everyone else was just staring at the screen with wide eyes, wondering what it was going to do. He injected it into his neck and I felt really bad when he cringed.

Logan had never liked needles. When he was younger I always had to hold him while he got a shot. My heart throbbed when I heard him whine slightly, sounding almost like an injured puppy.

"Oh, shut up. If you think that hurts, it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse in a few minutes." Rorke laughed.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I hurriedly wiped them away so I could keep watching. I could swear we all jumped when he screamed. It wasn't that loud, because he was gagged. But it was just... sudden.

Rorke leaned against the wall with a grin, making me want to repeatedly stab him in the face. Logan started crying and shaking. My heart was in my stomach at this point. I sniffled and looked around the room. Everyone was crying except for Merrick, Price, and Soap, but even they had tears in their eyes.

Something changed, then. Logan was staring at Rorke with a look of sheer terror. Tears flooded down his cheeks as Rorke pulled a knife from its sheath. He futilely tugged on the restraints as he raised the knife above his leg.

My heart sped up and I stopped breathing. No no no. Don't do that, you stupid motherfucker! The knife was right above my baby brother's leg when Luke shut the laptop, turning off the video.

Everyone turned to him with different expressions- most of them being confusion or anger. Mine was anger. I turned to glare at him and went to yell at him, only to realize I had no air in my lungs. I choked and sucked in ragged gasps for breath.

"Yeah, that's why I stopped it. Hesh! You need to fucking breathe." Luke sighed.

I glared at him while taking deep breaths.

"I don't see the point in sitting here crying and watching Logan get hurt. We're wasting time that we should be using to find him." Roach mumbled while Ghost wiped the tears from his cheeks.

I was about to say something when Kick's cellphone started ringing. He made a face and answered it.

"Hello?"

He listened to the person on the other end of the line speak for a few moments and his eyes widened.

"Are you okay?!"

He seemed relieved after a moment, but apparently the person told him something surprising because he stood up.

"WHAT?!" He screeched.

The rest of us leaned forward slightly, unsuccessfully trying to hear what the other person was saying. He spoke to him for a few more minutes, then hung up.

He sat down and ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh.

"What is it?" I blurted out, barely containing my curiosity.

Kick cleared his throat and attempted to gather his thoughts.

"Well uhh... my father was almost killed by Rorke. The only reason he's still alive is because Logan took the bullet." He explained.

I could have sworn my stomach disappeared. I must have gotten pale extremely quickly, because the others seemed worried.

"But he's okay! I heard it hit him in the left shoulder, so he should be fine."

We were all relieved at that news. At least he was somewhat okay...

"Damn Hesh, I've never seen anyone pale so quickly!" Toad laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

I ignored him.

"So when and where did this happen?" I asked, knowing we could get Logan's location if we had the right information.

"My father lives in Rockford, Illinois, so obviously they were there. It happened about 6 hours ago. He said there was a black pickup parked near his house that he didn't recognize, so we can assume that's what they're traveling in."

"There's traffic cameras on the surrounding roads, right?" Roach asked.

Kick nodded.

"Well we're gonna hack into the traffic cams and see where Rorke's headed. Then we can go grab Logan..." Luke said, opening the laptop again and rapidly typing things into it.

"Okay, but you realize this was six hours ago and he's probably not gonna be in the same place." Keegan reasoned.

He nodded and continued typing. A few minutes later, he was in. The system wasn't very complex and it was easy to do.

"Alright..." He muttered, the large screen lighting up to show a road full of cars.

We watched as a black pickup stopped at the red light. That was it. Luke changed the view so we could see the back. The license plate was covered and several of us muttered curses. It would have been extremely easy to track them down if we had the number...

Luke paused it and zoomed in on the handle of the back door. It had blood on it... I felt like I was going to puke again. He sighed and zoomed back out, letting it continue to play.

We watched the truck for a while, noting which direction it was going and the signs along the road. Eventually when it got dark out, the truck stopped in Jackson, Michigan at a run-down motel. Rorke left the truck and went inside for a few minutes, probably renting a room.

He came back out and opened the back door, pulling out an unconscious Logan. There were no words to describe how bad he looked.

His face was as white as snow, the rest of him covered in crusty dried blood and dirt. Blood was just everywhere. It seeped from under the white bandages surrounding his shoulder as Rorke carried him inside.

A colorful patchwork of bruises decorated his skin underneath the layers of blood and grime. Judging by his flushed cheeks and damp bangs, he had a fever. Overall, he looked close to death. But then again, injuries always look worse than they actually are. But still, we need to get him back as soon as possible.

I didn't realize I had stopped breathing again until Keegan whacked me. That snapped me out of it and I listened while Merrick told us the plan. Roach got the exact location of the motel and we were sent to gear up.

It was time to go get Logan.

* * *

 **A/N: Yup, they have found their missing baby Ghost! Yay! I love Logan... he so cute... Anyways, I TOLD you guys the Ghosts would get more attention when they got closer to finding Logan, and they are! Hah! See! I didn't lie! BOOM!**

 **But yeah, next chapter they shall save Logan... I'm just gonna warn you now- it's gonna be angsty and gory and bloody and sad and a bit happy cause they totally saved Logan, but just be prepared for the super explosion of angst that is to come.**

 **Btw, happy late Fourth of July! *fireworks***

 **I worked hard! Please review! :D**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello again! I'd like to thank Justagenericusername for being a huge help in writing this section of the story! Thank you so much! And also Marieevee because he/she is awesome! Seriously, we talked for like an hour the other day! It was fun!**

 **Btw, feel free to PM me if you have any questions or need help writing! I'm no expert, but I could try to help. I won't bite! ...Unless you have food! Then I might but no guarantees, lol.**

 **WARNING: Logan gets molested in the beginning. There's nothing too dark, but I just wanted to give you a heads up. This is a** ** _super_** **angsty chapter... I'm not even kidding. I dropped an angst nuke and blew up the story with this chapter. You have been warned.**

* * *

 **A Couple Hours Later...**

 **Logan P.O.V**

The first thing I felt as I began to wake up was a pair of hands roaming over my chest. No! No no no, not again! My heart raced and I mustered the energy to open my eyes. As soon as I did I regretted it.

Rorke was laying across my legs, which hurt like hell because they still had glass shards stuck in them. His weight on top of them pushed them deeper into my legs, making me want to scream.

But I didn't have the energy to do so. I was exhausted from the combination of blood loss and sleep deprivation.

I didn't even have the energy to stop the hand that trailed up my thigh to grope my ass. I closed my eyes and swallowed thickly, trying so hard to imagine that I wasn't here and that this wasn't happening. That it hadn't happened before. But I couldn't even fool myself. It _was_ happening and it _had_ before, but that didn't make me any less terrified.

"I know you're awake, Logan." He teased, using his free hand to play with my left nipple.

I ignored him, which must have made him mad because then he grabbed my dick and squeezed, forcing a moan of pain from my throat. I could've sworn my heart was going to explode from beating entirely too fast.

"Why so quiet? You used to be so sassy and rebellious, but now... you don't even try to fight back." He sighed, removing his hand and trailing it up my stomach instead.

I felt goosebumps rise on my skin and shivered slightly, biting back a whine as he pushed down on the bruises that he had created earlier. I remembered him kicking me repeatedly in the stomach until I blacked out. No wonder my stomach felt like my organs were swimming in acid...

It was getting difficult to breathe. I couldn't calm down. He crawled up next to me and leaned down, his lips meeting mine. I felt bile rise in my throat as my panic tripled. I tried to pull away but he grabbed my head and held me in place.

I was absolutely disgusted as I felt his tongue prod at my lips, wanting me to open my mouth wider. Fuck no. I was about to bite him but he pressed his thumb into the bullet wound in my shoulder, causing me to release a weak scream that was muffled by his mouth.

He slid his tongue into my mouth, wandering among the rows of teeth and rubbing his tongue against mine. It took everything I had in me not to puke right then and there.

He pulled back after a few minutes and began sucking on my neck. I knew he was leaving marks and I felt repulsive. I wanted to scream at him to stop, to thrash and struggle with all of my might, but I was _so_ tired and moving only caused more pain.

Tears slid down my cheeks as he finished marking me. He sat up, glaring at me when he saw them, and slapped me across the face.

"Really? Are you _really_ gonna cry like a little fucking baby?!" He roared, making me shrink away from him as much as possible in this position.

My head pounded obnoxiously in my ears and I felt blood rush to the area as tears flowed freely from my eyes.

It was as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. I couldn't breathe. The harder I tried, the more difficult it got. My lungs burned, desperately needing oxygen, yet not receiving any. My heart was racing at a million miles an hour.

My vision began to fade and it seemed as though the world was down a long tunnel, far away in the distance. Rorke's voice faded away as well and everything was nearly silenced completely when the door was suddenly kicked open.

Several loud gunshots rang in the air, making my head pound all the harder. I literally felt like my eyes were going to pop out. There was a dull _thud_ as a body hit the wood floor of the room.

I opened my eyes a crack and watched as several people fought with Rorke on the opposite side of the room. There was a scream... maybe someone got hurt. Fear blossomed in my chest and spread its icy tendrils throughout my body.

I heard a gun slide across the floor. There was another loud gunshot, then silence. Then there were voices. Oh no. I let out a sob and curled in on myself, shying away from the multiple pairs of hands that reached for me.

 _No! Don't touch me!_

Familiar voices floated down to me, but I couldn't hear them over the incessant pounding in my head.

I tried to shut the rest of the world out as I felt someone pick me up. I knew those hands. It was Hesh. No! Oh God no! I couldn't go through this again! He wanted to hurt me. Everyone did. I couldn't let that happen! Not again!

 **Hesh P.O.V**

Holy shit. I ran up to the bed and looked at Logan, who had curled in on himself and started crying. He looked so much worse than earlier. His neck was littered with hickeys that made my blood boil.

I covered him in a blanket to try and save what little dignity he might have left. He yelped and damn near leapt from the bed when I carefully picked him up.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. We're gonna get you out of here, alright?"

He looked at me with fear and pain filled eyes that broke my heart. The others were silent as I followed them to the car. I was a few feet away from it when Logan started thrashing. I nearly dropped him several times before finally pulling him into the backseat.

"Logan, what's-"

I was interrupted when I was pushed to the side by Keegan and Luke, both of whom needed to look him over. Plus the latter had noticed I was upsetting him and he needed to calm him down.

"Hesh, stay back." He muttered, pulling the blanket back slightly so he could see.

Merrick put the keys in the ignition and floored it. We had to leave quickly before the police showed up because of the gunshots. Kick was silently sitting beside me in the middle of the van.

Yes, we were riding in a lame van Roach had hotwired for us and the 141 was in a second one behind us. It was the only way all of us were able to fit in only 2 cars.

Also there were lots of civilians here and we couldn't just land our helicopter in the middle of the street in front of the motel. Speaking of which, the heli was a few miles away and we were almost there.

That was also why Keegan and Luke were currently just looking Logan over instead of treating him. We would have to move him again in a minute anyways, so there was no point in getting out all the medical supplies and starting to treat his many injuries.

But they were gonna give him morphine now, so that it would be working by the time we were in the air.

I never looked away from him once during the ride. I was so worried. Luke seemed concerned too, especially so since he seemed to be afraid of everyone. Every time someone within his sight moved, he flinched, as if he was expecting one of us to hit him.

He still hadn't stopped crying and was shaking all over. Keegan moved to give him the morphine and he panicked even more, beginning to hyperventilate.

Luke held his unbroken arm still and ran a hand through his hair as the older man injected the morphine. The way Logan made sure he stayed well away from his broken arm didn't escape his notice.

"Shhh, Logan, calm down. It's just gonna make the pain go away. Don't cry..." He said soothingly, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

Logan flinched away from his hand, a whine slipping through his teeth. His breathing slowed slightly, but his muscles were still tensed as if he were just waiting for someone to hurt him.

He cringed when the car stopped and I opened the door, allowing the brisk fall air to enter the previously warm car. I went to pick him up but was appalled- maybe even hurt- when he released a cry of fear and scrambled back away from me.

It was almost as if he was scared of me... but I didn't want to believe that. He was my baby brother and I loved him more than anything. He knew that, so there was no way he could be scared of me... right?

He began to cry again and Luke hurriedly shushed him and carried him to the helicopter instead. I felt jealousy flare inside me, but then listened to reason. Luke was just trying to help.

I sighed and pushed the tears in my eyes back, determined not to let them fall. I piled into the helicopter behind the others and sat towards the back, closer to my baby brother but out of his line of sight. I didn't want to startle him... again.

I leaned back against the bench, just glad that Logan was safe and Rorke was no longer an issue.

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

Hands. There were hands everywhere. I was burning up and freezing at the same time. Everything hurt, but now it was just dull aches instead of stabbing, throbbing pain running throughout my entire body.

My tears blurred the familiar faces that hovered over me, although I couldn't quite recall why they seemed familiar... Every time I almost had it figured out, the fog of medication caused it to slip between my fingers once again.

I whimpered as a needle slid into my arm. I hate needles. What if they gave me poison like Rorke did? The thought made my stomach lurch sickeningly. No. They couldn't do that. Not again. I wouldn't let them.

I felt fingers prodding my broken arm, poking and pushing down on certain areas. I flinched violently and bit my lip, feeling anxiety flood through me. What if they wanted to touch me like... like Rorke had?

"Damn it... we'll have to re-break his arm and set it correctly when we get back to base." Keegan sighed.

Luke nodded.

"I thought so. Just leave it be for now. I'm more concerned about how we're going to remove all those glass shards without causing more damage..."

I felt the blanket get pulled away from my legs, a hand turning my foot this way and that. My heart hammered in my chest. Why couldn't they just let me die already? I'm useless anyways...

"N-nooo... please don' hurt m-m-me..." I begged, choking on a sob.

Luke turned back to me and started wiping at my cheek with a wet rag.

"Shhh, it's okay. No one's gonna hurt you." He murmured.

I instinctively flinched away from his hand again, but he moved with me and kept gently cleaning the gash on my cheek.

"Keegan, start him on a round of antibiotics, please. He's got a few lacerations that I don't like the looks of." He ordered, pouring some peroxide onto the rag.

"Yes, I was thinking the same thing."

He injected the antibiotics into the IV port and continued to study my leg. I felt extremely uneasy. He seemed to be thinking about the best way to get the shards out... I jumped and my attention was pulled back to Luke as he rubbed something that burned into the gash.

What was it? I knew what it was, I just couldn't think of the word... I winced and bit my lip harder when the burning got worse. Tears rose in my eyes. He said no one was gonna hurt me... liar. Why does everyone always lie to me?

 _Because you're too weak to deal with the truth,_ Rorke's voice teased.

Oh... that's true. I mean, how could I not be? I'm the most useless soldier on the Ghost team. My breath quickened as I realized they _were_ going to hurt me. No! I can't stand any more! Please no...

"N-nooo... please..." I cried, shrinking away from the hands.

Panic flooded every part of me and I had an urge to get away from them. They were going to hurt me. I need to get away before they start-

I screamed as a glass shard was pulled out. White hot pain exploded in my leg and spread throughout the area. Oh _fuck!_ Tears rolled down my cheeks in rivers as I failed an attempt at pulling my leg away. I tried to sit up as I felt blood spill from the now open wound, but Luke pushed me back down.

"Easy, easy. I need you to sit still for us, okay?" He asked, grabbing my hand and stopping its mission of pulling the IV out.

 _They're going to hurt you,_ Rorke laughed.

No! I whimpered as memories of Rorke torturing me floated into my mind. Burning, waterboarding, stabbing, cutting... He had done almost everything imaginable to me. Now he had disappeared and these people were hurting me instead.

 _Am I really just that terrible of a person? So bad that everyone wants to hurt me..._

Darkness ate at the edges of my vision as another shard was pulled out. I cried harder and again, the oxygen seemed to have been sucked from the room. I cried out and kicked at them as a third was pulled. More hands were there, holding me down.

That only made it harder to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't move. The thought scared me and I writhed, wishing they would just leave me alone and let me die. The world doesn't need a useless person like me anyways. And I'm sure no one would miss me.

The darkness closed in as a fourth was pulled out. The frantic voices of the people above me faded away...

And there was nothing.

* * *

 **A/N: I _TOLD_ you it would be angsty! Poor Logan... he's so scared. And before you ask, no, he didn't die. He blacked out. I can't kill him when they just got him back! That'd be cruel.**

 **And poor Hesh! His baby brother is scared of him... that's so sad. Anywho, next chapter should be up in a few days. Hope you've enjoyed this angst filled chapter!**

 **Please review! Pretty please! *puppy dog eyes***


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello my lovelies! Here is another chapter for yooou! It's kinda fluffy... Enjoy! ;)**

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

As soon as we landed back at base, my baby brother was rushed off to the infirmary. He had only woken up once after he blacked out the first time. He cried until he passed out again.

Every tear that slipped from his eyes was like a stab in the chest for me because I knew he wouldn't be hurting if I had been strong enough to save him. I sighed for the millionth time and the others seemed worried, but I ignored them. We had already been waiting for over an hour.

Luke was in the operating room with some other doctors and nurses, working on Logan. I hope he's gonna be okay... One of them was also stitching Archer up.

Rorke had stabbed him in the stomach during the fight, but other than that he was fine. Luke said it hadn't hit anything vital, but the sniper was extremely lucky. A half inch to the left and that knife would've nicked his large intestine, causing some serious issues.

I jumped and was pulled from my thoughts when the operating room door swung open to reveal Luke, carrying a sleeping Archer. I saw a flash of people in surgical gowns and masks hovering over the unconscious body of my brother before the door swung shut again. I scowled. Fuck.

Luke was also wearing a surgical gown and mask, but the latter was pulled down. He handed Archer to Toad with a grin.

"Here, he'll be fine. I'll give you his pain meds later, but he should be all set for now. I have to get back in there." He said shortly, turning and heading back toward the door.

I stood, ignoring the aches and stabs of pain that ran through my legs as I did so.

"Hey wait! How's Logan?" I asked quickly, needing an answer before I died of uneasiness.

He gave me a small smile and replied, "Asleep."

Then he retreated back into the room without waiting for a reply, or in this case, a protest. I gawked at the door in shock. I had been expecting a real answer... I groaned in frustration and slumped to the floor.

I laid on my side and stared at the row of boots that belonged to my friends. I sighed again, not giving a shit that they were all staring at me while I literally laid on the floor in the middle of the hall.

"Uhh... Hesh, you probably shouldn't be laying on the floor." Keegan sighed.

I raised my gaze to look him in the eye.

"You gonna stop me?" I asked miserably.

He huffed out a breath and shook his head.

"No."

* * *

 **Nearly an Hour Later...**

 **Archer P.O.V**

Oh man... I'm so tired. Everything feels heavy... almost as if I'm on pain meds. I shifted slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position on this soft... whatever it is I'm laying on. I felt a hand run through my hair and couldn't help but smile.

That _had_ to be Toad. I inhaled a deep breath... and very quickly let it out because my side burned like a motherfucker.

 _Owww_ _!_ _What the fu- oh._

I remembered getting stabbed and then... hearing gunfire. It slowly came back to me in short bursts of images. Even though it was incredibly blurry, I saw Hesh carry Logan to the van.

Then someone picked me up and brought me along as well... then everything faded to black.

There was only one question on my mind- where is Logan?

I opened my eyes to see Toad's hazel eyes and grinning dimples. Awww, he's so cute! Wait, no! I gotta find out where Logan is, damn it! Stupid meds... making my mind all foggy.

"You awake, love?" Toad asked, cupping my cheeks and looking intently into my eyes.

I nodded slightly and yawned, feeling exhausted. My eyes began to droop again, but then I remembered my mission to find out where Logan is.

I somehow found the energy to force them open again and even tried to sit up, but my attempt failed when Toad pushed me back down. I pouted at him and he chuckled.

"You got stabbed in the fucking stomach, Arch. Therefore, sitting up is off limits until Luke says so. Just go back to sleep. I know you're tired." He said while ruffling my hair.

"L... Logan." I croaked.

"He's still in surgery. I'll wake you up when we're allowed to see him though, okay?"

"Promise?" I asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't just saying that so I would go to sleep.

He rolled his eyes, well aware of what I was doing.

"Yeah, I promise. Now go to sleep, you turd." He smiled.

I yawned again, wincing as my side flared briefly with pain.

"Are you okay? Do you need more pain meds? Luke said he'd give them to me later, but I could probably get Keegan to-"

"Shhh! 'M tyin' ta seep." I grumbled, weakly hitting his arm.

Although I was internally smiling like a mad man. Toad got so worried about me over such small things. Sometimes, like now, it was adorable. But at other times it annoyed the shit out of me.

"Oh... uhh... sorry. Go to sleep." He ordered, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

I smirked and he must've known it was because he was blushing, so he covered my eyes. They fell closed and I didn't have the energy to open them again this time. I was asleep in seconds.

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

"Hesh, c'mon. You should eat something." Merrick said, pulling at my arm.

"I'm not hungry." I replied instantly, staring at the operating room door.

Ever since Luke went back in, I had been waiting for it to open again. It had been 2 hours so far. Toad was sitting a few chairs down, Archer still asleep in his arms. Everyone else had gone to the mess hall to eat, although none of them were very hungry.

Keegan had made them go, as he was concerned for their well-being. Toad didn't go because Archer was a very light sleeper and he didn't want to wake him up by moving him. Keegan knew he needed rest to heal and didn't want to wake him either, so he had allowed Toad to stay.

"Then at least drink something. The last thing we need is you passing out from dehydration." He sighed, pushing a water bottle into my hands.

I nodded silently, my gaze not leaving the door. I nearly fell off my chair in surprise when it swung open. Luke walked out, pulling off blood stained gloves as he went. I felt myself pale slightly at the sight... He threw them away then turned to me.

"Alright, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" He asked quietly.

My stomach dropped. Bad news... I didn't need any more bad news. I was about to answer when the others came running down the hall.

Apparently on their way back, they saw Luke and wanted to hear the news as well. Most of them leaned against the wall, waiting for the former nurse to share the news on Logan's condition. Luke raised his eyebrows at me, clearly still waiting for an answer.

"Uhh... good news?"

"Okay. I'm aware that no one enjoys this subject, but we all saw Rorke and Logan on that bed in the motel," He said as everyone's gaze shifted to the floor. "But the good news is, he wasn't raped. He should be awake in an hour or two."

Everyone was extremely relieved. I think I was the happiest though. We had all been very worried over that, but none of us wanted to talk about it.

"Did you run a rape kit?" Keegan asked, crossing his arms.

I cringed at the word 'rape'.

"No, because one- that would take forever. And two- Logan would have to be awake for me to do that and trust me when I say, that kid would shoot himself before he let me or anyone else touch him. I'll elaborate on that in a moment," He explained, then continued, "Bad news is, although he wasn't raped, he _was_ molested. So you should be careful about what you say and do around him. Also, he was severely injured, so it'll take him a few months to heal up."

We waited a moment.

"Is that it?" Kick asked, fearing having to hear more sad information about his friend.

Luke yawned and replied, "Yeah, I think so. You guys can go see him if you want. But... to elaborate on my earlier comment... he's very nervous and scared around people now. I believe everything he went through caused him to develop serious anxiety issues. I don't want too many of you in there at once because he would either lash out or have a panic attack, most likely the latter."

Roach fidgeted uncomfortably at the mention of anxiety issues. Ghost hugged him and whispered something in his ear, causing him to visibly relax a bit. I glared at him.

"Dude, I thought you said that was _all_ the news." I grumbled.

"Well there's a lot of news and I'm half asleep. You can't expect much. Speaking of sleep, you need to go get some. You look like a dead person."

I shook my head.

"Not until I see Logan."

"You better get in there then. You have an hour to visit, but when that hour's up I expect you to get some rest. If not I'll sedate you for two days." He said sternly, waving a finger at me.

 _Yeah right. It'd be fun to see you try..._

"Mhmm. You have fun with that." I muttered.

I stood and left, speed walking to the infirmary. When I reached the door, I nervously paused. Something felt... off. My mind went back to when we rescued Logan.

I had tried to pick him up, but he seemed to be terrified of me. I still remember the expression of sheer terror he wore when I approached him. What if... what if he's afraid of me?

 _No. No, that can't happen. He knows you love him and would never do anything to hurt him._

With that thought, I pulled the door open.

It's time to see my baby brother.

* * *

 **A/N: HAH! I LEFT YOU ON A CLIFFHANGER! WOOHOOO! Damn, that feels good. I guess you'll have to review if you want me to upload chapter 19... hehehe... *sigh* Oh, the joys of being a writer. Please review! ;D**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello agaaain! Sorry it's been a few days... I wasn't sure how to deal with this. But now I am! Yay! Have fun with the angsty Logan!**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I slowly began my journey to consciousness, and eventually I reached my destination. My limbs felt incredibly heavy. I could feel the dull aches that ran through my body, but it was definitely preferable to the sudden stabs of pain that I had received before.

I was absolutely exhausted, but remembering what happened made me want to know where I was. I slowly opened my eyes and there, beside the bed, sat Hesh. I froze in terror. The heart monitor to my left beeped wildly as panic flooded throughout my body.

He leaned forward, reaching for me and I backed away as quickly as physically possible.

 _No! No more! Please no...!_

"Logan? What's wrong?" Hesh asked, his eyes shining with concern.

But I knew that was a trick, a lie, to make me think that he wouldn't hurt me. And I wasn't going to fall for it. Not again. I had the first time he visited, but by God I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

I could feel the familiar pressure building in my chest depriving me of oxygen- just like every time Hesh showed up. That caused my panic to soar impossibly higher, the heart monitor's beeping becoming louder and more frantic in response.

"Hey, it's okay."

He reached for me again, placing his hand on my shoulder in a fake gesture of comfort. I shied away from him again, my mind screaming _danger_ _danger danger!_ I wheezed for breath but that only set my broken ribs aflame.

Luke burst into the room and I nearly leapt from the bed in fright. Tears burned in my eyes and blurred my vision as he literally shoved Hesh out the door. He rushed over to me and carefully sat on the bed beside me. I flinched away from him and began to cry when he reached for me.

"Shhh, it's okay, Logan. Just breathe, you're fine." He said soothingly.

But unlike Hesh, he didn't retract his hand when I moved back. He leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. I froze in complete shock. Was this some fucked up trick...? I don't understand. Is he trying to hurt me? But I don't see how a _hug_ could be harmful in any way...

I tried to pull away but he just tightened his arms around me.

"It's alright, I'm not gonna hurt you. Calm down..."

Pssshhhh. I've heard that line before. But... He hasn't hurt me _yet_. Maybe... maybe he won't? After a while I managed to slow my breathing down to the point where I could actually breathe and I could've sworn Luke smiled in approval.

"That's it, deep breaths." He said happily.

I flinched when he raised a hand to ruffle my hair. The annoying beeping of the heart monitor gradually slowed down to a regular pace.

Eventually my exhaustion caught up to me and dragged me back into the land of unconsciousness.

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

He really is scared of me.

The thought hit me with the force of a wrecking ball. I watched through the tiny window in the door as Luke tried to calm my brother down. I simply stood there for a while. Out of all this, what hurt the most is that I know that should be me in there.

Tears welled in my eyes as I leaned against the wall and slid onto the floor, pulling my knees up against my chest.

I should be the one hugging Logan and calming him down when he gets scared. But no, instead, I'm the one he's scared _of_. Never in my entire life have I been so hurt. I've taken care of Logan from the moment I first held him. And now, 22 years later, to see that he's _scared_ of me- it hurts.

I couldn't stand the thought of Logan being scared of me. I desperately thought of what I had done ever since we rescued him. I tried to figure out what the hell I had done wrong. But for the life of me- I couldn't think of _anything_ that could make him scared of me. Not _one_ damn thing.

Why is he scared of me?! What did I do? I buried my face in my hands and cried, because it was the one thing I _could_ do. I don't know how to fix this... I cried until my cheeks and arms were soaked with tears and my head felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it.

But I cried, more than anything, because I wished dad was here. He'd know what to do, how to fix this. But no, he was dead. Gone and never coming back. So now I was alone, with a little brother who is scared of me.

Isn't that lovely?

I jumped and looked up when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Luke, standing there with a glass of water in his hand.

"Come on, you need rest." He said, pulling on my arm.

I didn't move.

"Logan?" I asked, my voice hoarse from crying so much.

"He's asleep. And you should be too."

I sighed and stared at the floor. What was the point of sleeping? I wish Luke would go away... He seemed to know exactly what I was thinking and held out the glass of water.

"If you drink this I'll leave. I already have enough to deal with and don't need you getting dehydrated as well." He said quietly.

All I got from that was 'I'll leave', so I grabbed the glass and chugged the water without thinking. I handed it back to him and he sighed and walked off. As an afterthought, I wondered if he drugged the water... _probably._

The thought was confirmed when I suddenly felt a million times more exhausted than before.

 _Damn you, Luke,_ I thought bitterly.

I sighed and tried to keep my eyes open. I succeeded for about 2 minutes, but after that it was _impossible._ I finally gave in and closed my eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

 **Luke P.O.V**

I went to the rec room and set the empty glass on the table. Everyone looked up at me, curious as to how Logan was doing. I sighed and laid down on a couch, closing my eyes. I'm so tired...

"Will somebody go put Hesh in his room? He's on the floor by the infirmary door." I said through a yawn.

Keegan raised an eyebrow.

"Why can't he go to his room on his own? And why is he on the floor?" Kick asked.

"Because he's unconscious." I mumbled out, effectively answering both questions.

"Oh, I see. Did he not go to bed like you told him to?" Ghost laughed.

I shook my head.

"Logan freaked out when he saw him and had a panic attack because apparently he's scared of him for some reason. Hesh sat outside and cried for like an hour while I tried to calm Logan down. So... now they're both sleeping." I explained.

I heard several gasps.

"Why?!"

"Wait, what?! Logan can't be scared of Hesh. That's impossible." Merrick stated bluntly.

"Well go wake Logan up and tell him Hesh is coming. I bet you $20 he'll scream and try to run."

"Why would he be scared of Hesh?" Price asked.

"I don't know! Why don't you go ask him? Now would someone _please_ go put Hesh to bed before someone else finds him and thinks he's dead?!" I snapped.

Kick sighed and left the room to deal with Hesh.

"Well somebody's grumpy..." Toad chuckled.

"'M just tired... leave me 'lone." I murmured, already half asleep.

I vaguely felt someone put a blanket over me and ruffle my hair before I fell asleep.

"Night, Luke."

* * *

 **A/N: Wow... everyone's so sad. Poor Hesh :'( He sooo upset. And Logan's a mess. Poor Luke too, he's tired from taking care of everyone and being so stressed out. Next chapter will be more eventful, I promise! Please review! Your input is what keeps me motivated!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello peoples! Here's some more Logan angst for ya... hmmm... I still have to hook him up with Keegan somehow. Any ideas?**

* * *

 **Keegan P.O.V**

I sighed and glanced over at Luke, who had been sleeping for the better part of an hour. I should let him sleep. He was so tired earlier... but someone needs to check on Logan. And technically I _am_ the medic on this team.

I stood up and left, heading for the infirmary. It didn't take me long to get there and I slowly opened the door. I stopped for a moment in shock... Logan didn't look so good. Fuck that, he looked like he was on the brink of death.

Bruises decorated his cheeks and jaw line, as well as a jagged cut down his left cheek that had been stitched. White bandages surrounded his chest, legs, and arms, under which more injuries were hidden.

His broken right arm was in a cast and he was sleeping fitfully, writhing around and whimpering every once in a while. I quietly walked over to him and placed a hand on his forehead, my heart dropping when he flinched.

Shit, he's burning up. I half expected that though, as he was dumped in a pit for a while... I would be surprised if he _hadn't_ gotten sick from being stuck out there in the rain with no clothes.

I quickly looked around for anything to indicate when his last dose of Tylenol was. I know Luke has been giving it to him, as well as antibiotics and painkillers and probably a bunch of other drugs. After a moment I found a piece of paper on the table next to his bed. It said:

 _Tylenol- 10:42a.m._

I glanced at the clock on the wall- it's nearly noon. Alright, so he still has Tylenol in his system. That's good. I need to see how high the fever is... I dug through the drawers of medical supplies and was able to find a thermometer.

I sighed, knowing this would be the hard part. I carefully lowered myself onto the bed beside him and gently patted his uninjured cheek.

"Logan. I need you to open your mouth for me." I said, watching his hand twitch slightly.

His eyes opened to slits and his breathing hitched when he saw me. The heart monitor's pace sped up a bit, and he jumped slightly in fear. He looked _so_ tired and I hated to bug him, but I didn't want to accidentally scare him by sticking things in his mouth while he was trying to sleep.

His eyes were what shocked me the most though. They were bloodshot and glassy from the fever but they just looked so... lifeless that it stunned me for a moment. It made me wonder what the hell Rorke did to him...

He wheezed in a shallow breath and I realized how much breathing must hurt for him because of his 4 broken ribs. I smiled at him and brushed his damp bangs away from his eyes. He shied away from my hand, but was too tired to do much else. I think Luke gave him some sedatives too, to keep him at least _somewhat_ calm. Especially after the incident with Hesh...

"Sorry to wake you, I promise you can go back to sleep in a minute. I gotta check your temperature. Open up," I said, holding up the thermometer.

He cringed, seemingly bracing for impact, when I raised my arm. His heart rate spiked for a moment and I felt bad. I didn't mean to scare him...

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you... I just need you to open your mouth."

He stared at me for a minute and I could swear he was looking at my soul. He very hesitantly opened his mouth and I slowly put the thermometer in, trying my hardest not to startle him. After a few moments it beeped and I pulled it out.

 _101.4_

It's not that high but I still need to get it down some. I nodded to myself and looked back at Logan, who had already fallen back asleep. I quickly wrote down his temperature and the time before filling a plastic container with cold water and grabbing a washcloth.

I set it on the table and dipped the washcloth into the water, ringing it out and sitting beside him on the bed again. I carefully pushed his bangs aside and put it on his forehead. He jumped and his eyes snapped open, his heart rate spiking again.

"Woah, easy. I have to get your fever down. Just go back to sleep..." I explained quickly, praying he wouldn't freak out.

His eyes darted around the room but after a moment he calmed down some, his heart rate slowing once again. His eyes drooped, the drugs in his system and sleep deprivation for the past three weeks attempting to drag him under.

He tried to stay awake, snapping his eyes open several times, but it was an impossible task and he fell into an uneasy sleep after a couple minutes. I chuckled slightly and re-soaked the washcloth, dabbing at his cheeks and neck then working my way back up to his forehead.

It was kind of pitiful, how tired he was. The poor thing hadn't slept in forever and was so hurt he couldn't even sit up. It made me sad to see him so scared, too.

The fact that he flinches every time one of us moves makes me upset because I don't want him to be scared of me. I don't want him to be scared of any of us, because he really shouldn't be.

And Hesh, oh God, I can't even _imagine_ how he feels. He _was_ the closest to Logan and those two were rarely seen without each other... but now... now they've been ripped apart by fucking Rorke.

I clenched my fist. I want to shoot that bastard in the face all over again. And again. And again. And again.

I let out a shaky sigh and drenched the washcloth again, gently placing it on Logan's forehead before leaving. I returned to the rec room and sat down, checking the time so I could check on him again in half an hour.

"How's Logan?" Kick asked, looking up from the TV screen.

The others looked up as well, anxiously waiting for an answer. Well, except for Archer, Toad, Luke, and Roach, all of whom were asleep. I paused for a moment, trying to think of an accurate answer.

"Scared." Was the only word I could find to describe it.

I wasn't planning on sugarcoating anything, after all. Kick raised an eyebrow, silently asking me to elaborate.

"He flinched every time I moved and jumped at every small noise. When I first went in there he was sleeping... or _trying_ to, at least. Rorke really fucked him up and I just..." I sighed, trying to find the words to describe how I felt. "I really hope we're gonna be able to fix him."

The others immediately engaged in conversations of their own on the matter. They were all worried and I kind of felt bad... it must be harder for them, especially since they haven't gotten to see Logan yet. I'll have to talk to Luke about that...

As if he somehow knew I was thinking about him, Luke groaned slightly and sat up, rubbing at his eyes with a yawn. He looked around the room and glanced at his watch, his eyes widening as he realized how long he had been out.

"Logan's fine, I just got back from checking on him." I said, knowing why he was worried.

He released a sigh of relief and smiled at me.

"Thanks. How is he? Did his fever go down?" He asked while stretching his arms and back.

"It was at 101.4 when I took it. He seemed tired." I grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, he's _really_ tired. And I'm glad it's gone down some more, this morning it was at 102.7. But... how did he react to your presence? Did he freak out like he did with Hesh or was he alright?" He asked, his eyes shining with concern.

I shrugged a bit.

"He was mostly okay. His heart rate went up a few times and spiked when I moved too quickly and accidentally scared him. But other than that he seemed not to mind my being there." I explained.

Luke nodded in satisfaction.

"That's good, and don't worry, he's the same way with me. I think he's just uneasy around people in general now, but trust me, it'll pass after a while."

I nodded but didn't feel any better.

"You uhh... you've dealt with this sort of thing before... right? With Roach?" I asked, looking at said person, who was currently asleep in Ghost's lap.

The former nurse tried to gather his thoughts, smiling at Roach's sleeping form.

"Yes, I have. He was the same way when he first came to live with me, flinching at every sound and movement I made. He didn't talk much either. But he got better, as you can see. You just need to get Logan used to being around people who love him again. It'll probably be tough and it'll take a while, but he'll get better." He promised, his words making me feel a bit better.

I smiled at him, silently thanking him for being here. Without him I really don't know what I'd do... it's nice having him around to help out.

* * *

 **Archer P.O.V**

I sighed in my sleep and snuggled closer to Toad. He's so warm... I was exhausted from all the meds Luke and Keegan have been pumping into me. Plus being injured is a tiring thing in general.

But then I was rudely awakened by someone patting my cheek. I figured it was Toad, but that didn't make me any less mad at him for waking me up...

"Wha' d'you wan'?" I mumbled out, still mostly asleep.

"Luke needs to check on your side." Toad's voice explained, sounding far away.

Ugh, damn it. Can't he do that when I wake up?! I'm so tired... I didn't realize I had fallen asleep again until there was a burning pain in my side. I winced and opened my eyes, immediately closing them again to block out the bright lights overhead.

Those didn't help my headache at all... owww... A comforting hand ruffled my hair and I relaxed into the padded surface below me. Knowing Toad was there made me feel much safer. Gentle hands prodded at the wound and I felt them unwrap the bandages surrounding my side.

I warily opened my eyes again to see Toad smiling down at me.

"Hi," I mumbled with a grin.

It turned into a grimace when the wound in my side began to throb painfully.

"You okay? Luke's almost done..." Toad said, glancing at someone out of my line of sight.

I assumed it was Luke. Toad lifted me up a bit so the medic could wrap fresh bandages around my side.

"How's Logan?" I asked, my worry doubling as I realized I hadn't visited him yet.

The older man seemed to sense my growing worry for my friend and smiled slightly.

"He's okay. Tired and scared of Hesh, but okay." He sighed, boredly tracing my lips.

I raised an eyebrow at the 'scared of Hesh' thing. I must've heard him wrong...

"Nah, you heard right. For some reason Logan is scared of Hesh... but we'll fix it. Don't worry." He said, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

I nodded silently and began to doze off, hearing Luke say he was finished before falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Woah! That was long... ish. The cute Toad/Archer scene at the end there was for SpitfireUSN because she(?) is awesome! Also because I keep forgetting to have one of them clean Archer's stab wound and it was gonna get infected if I didn't write that part!** **Ugh!**

 **And yay for Keegan! Logan isn't scared of him... cause he _loves_ him! *squeals* OH! I almost forgot! Anyone have any ideas on how Keegan and Logan should get together? **

**Please leave me reviews and tell me! Byeee! ;)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hi! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days! I've been busy with shit. My dumbass father wastes a lot of my time. *shakes head and sighs***

 **Enjoy the chapter! ;)**

* * *

 **2 Days Later...**

 **Keegan P.O.V**

Logan is a bit more... awake today. He watches everything I do and still hasn't said a word, but then again, he just woke up about 15 minutes ago.

I don't know if he'll still be awake when I get back, but he really needs to eat something. I was currently warming up some chicken noodle soup for him, as that'll be fairly easy for him to digest.

The microwave beeped and I grabbed the bowl of food, heading back for the infirmary. When I entered the room Logan's head snapped in my direction, his eyes wide with fear until he realized who it was and visibly relaxed. I smiled at him and set the bowl aside.

"Hey, Logan. You think you can eat something today?" I asked, gesturing to the warm bowl of soup.

He paled and looked like he was gonna be sick, just like every other time I've tried to get him to eat.

"C'mon, it's not that bad. Besides, you gotta eat. You've lost so much weight already..." I said worriedly, my eyes moving over his frail body.

I sat beside him on the bed and very carefully helped him sit up. He flinched away from me several times, but with some comforting words and reassurances, he was alright.

His heart rate was still a bit faster than I would've liked, but I ignored it, knowing he would settle down in a minute. I leaned to the side a bit and grabbed the bowl, setting it in my lap.

"Watch this." I instructed, picking up a spoonful and eating it.

I swallowed it and smiled encouragingly at him, eating a few more spoonfuls.

"See? There's nothing bad in here."

He shook his head fearfully. I gathered some of the noodles onto the spoon, blowing on it some to cool it off before lifting it to Logan's mouth. He flinched and turned his head away.

When I tried to move it closer to him he leaned away and released a low whine, the first sound I've heard him make since he woke up. I sighed and set the spoon down.

"Can you please eat just a bit? You've gotta be starving..." I begged.

He shook his head again and I sighed, but gave him a small smile despite my disappointment.

"Okay. You tell me if you need anything, alright?" I said, carefully shifting him to lay back down.

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw him make the slightest movement of his head. A nod. I was surprised, but didn't mention it. I stood up fully when I was sure he was settled and gently patted his leg. He still flinched.

"Luke will be here in a few minutes to check on you." I said, heading for the door.

When I was sure I was out of his earshot I released a frustrated sigh. He _really_ needs to eat... I went to the rec room and sat down in my usual chair, trying to think of ways to get him to eat something.

"He's still not eating?" Luke asked, easily reading my mood using body language.

I shook my head.

"I don't understand... I mean, he hasn't eaten in forever. He should be fucking ravenous." Kick sighed.

"They poisoned his food, we saw it on the flash drive (they had watched more after saving Logan to figure out exactly what happened to him). Have you tried eating some of the food before him to show him it isn't poisoned? I had to do that with Roach..." Luke explained.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I've tried that. He just... won't."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"We might have to put a feeding tube in..." Archer said quietly.

Several people groaned. Hesh was sitting in the corner sulking and didn't react. He's been doing that ever since he woke up yesterday, which worried me...

"Don't do that, you might hurt him!" Roach said.

"We can't do that! He'd hate it!" Kick complained.

"Of course he would, but at least he'd be getting what he needs." I muttered.

Luke shook his head in disagreement.

"It'd freak him out. He's already having trouble breathing because of his ribs, he certainly doesn't need a damn tube down his throat."

"Well then what the hell are we supposed to do?" I growled, my worry overflowing and causing me to lash out.

He gave me a look.

"Don't get frustrated. He'll sense it and it'll scare him. I need to go look at his injuries, but I'll see if I can get him to eat while I'm in there."

I nodded silently as he left, still trying to think of a solution. A couple minutes later he ran back in with the biggest smile I think I've ever seen on him.

"Oh my god! He's eating! I saw it through the window!" He said, bouncing around excitedly.

"Yay!" Kick cheered, but I was confused.

"He has a broken arm and is literally covered in injuries. How the hell is he eating on his own?" I asked skeptically.

Luke stopped for a moment and said, "Well, he's using his left hand and _trying_ to eat. You need to go help him though before he accidentally spills soup all over himself."

"Okay, but why didn't you just help him?" I asked curiously, stopping at the door.

"Because he trusts you the most and probably wouldn't eat while I'm in there anyways. I'll check on his injuries later." He shrugged, sitting down again.

I nodded and left for the infirmary, feeling happy for the first time in days. I slowly opened the door so I wouldn't scare him, ignoring the fact that he still jumped. He immediately dropped the spoon back into the bowl, a guilty expression taking over his features. I smiled and sat beside him.

"Logan, there's no need to feel guilty! This is your food. _Yours._ " I grinned, gesturing to the bowl.

He glanced at it, then back at me, seemingly thinking it over. He unconsciously licked at his lips and for a moment I couldn't help but stare. He looked up at me with pink tinted cheeks and I snapped out of it.

 _Awww, he's blushing..._ I thought, inwardly giggling at how adorable he looked.

I helped him sit up again, like I had earlier, and put a spoonful of soup in front of his mouth. He hesitated for a moment, then slowly inched forward and ate it. I was ecstatic.

"That's it! Good job, Logan!" I congratulated, giving him more, which he eagerly accepted.

I think he realized just how hungry he was after eating that first bite. He ate a little over half of the bowl before turning his head away, silently telling me he was finished.

I smiled at him and set the bowl on the bedside table, grabbing the water bottle there and unscrewing the cap.

"You want some water?" I asked, showing him the bottle.

He flinched slightly when I moved, but reluctantly nodded after a moment. I held it to his lips and helped him drink. He quickly guzzled it down, as if he thought he wouldn't get any more if he didn't drink it now.

"Slow down, I don't want you to get sick." I chided lightly, pulling it back and putting the cap back on.

He just watched me, as if I fascinated him somehow. I ruffled his hair and as usual, he flinched. But he didn't move away from me like he did when he first woke up.

"I'm proud of you." I said, gently patting his uninjured cheek with a smile.

I could have sworn he leaned into my hand, but I was so surprised that I wrote it off as my imagination. I helped him lay back down and he winced several times. I mentally noted that I needed to tell Luke to give him more pain meds when he came in.

"Get some rest, okay? I'll see you later." I said, waving goodbye to him and leaving the room.

* * *

 **A/N: Again, sorry for the delay. I'm not really satisfied with this chapter, but at least Logan is getting a bit better! *tries to be happy* Ugh... I feel like shit.**

 **But I suppose Logan probably feels worse... poor Logan. Next chapter will be more interesting, as some other people will get to visit with Logan. I'll try to update again soon! Please review! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello! Yes, I am still alive! I wanted to update Blinded before I worked on this story again. Also, my Wi-Fi was down for 2 days, which is another reason why it took so long.**

 **Plus I had to wait for inspiration to hit, which my fellow writers would understand. I apologize for the wait, but I hope the long and eventful chapter makes up for it! Enjoy! :)**

 **WARNING: There is a bit of graphic content in Logan's nightmare, but it's not too bad. Just wanted to give y'all a heads up.**

* * *

 _I ran through the maze of hallways, twisting and turning randomly since I had absolutely no idea where I was going. Well, I sort of did. Out. I was going out. I urged myself onto a greater speed as I heard the shouts of the guards nearing me. Shit._

 _My many injuries pulled, most of them tearing open and bleeding onto the floor. I tried to ignore the throbbing pain that ran throughout my entire body. I felt like absolute shit but I knew I had to keep going if I didn't want to feel worse in the future._

 _Panic and adrenaline raced through my veins. What if I didn't get out? What if I was stuck here, in that God forsaken pit forever? I shook my head, dispelling the terrifying thoughts as I rounded another corner- only to run strai_ _ght into a person._

 _I yelped in surprise and shock as I was harshly grabbed and thrown to the floor. I immediately began to struggle, clawing at the man's arms and kicking at any part of him within reach._

 _I couldn't see very well because I had been blindfolded for several days and my eyes weren't used to being used again yet. I didn't know who this was- until he spoke._

 _"Wow, Junior. You almost made it out this time. I gotta say, I'm impressed. With your injuries, you shouldn't even be able to walk, much less run. We'll fix that later..." Rorke chuckled, using all of his weight to pin me to the cold concrete floor._

 _I felt like I was being crushed by a boulder. I let out a truly pitiful whimper and writhed in a desperate attempt to get away. I only succeeded in making him laugh._

 _"L-lemme go..." I wheezed, digging my nails into his leg as he straddled my hips._

 _Panic raced through me immediately, squeezing the air from my lungs as my body recognized this position. No. No no no! My struggles became more frantic as I realized what was about to happen._

 _"NO!" I screamed, writhing and kicking with all of my might._

 _Rorke simply tightened his grip, his lips forming into a wolfish grin that made my stomach do somersaults. He held my wrists firmly in one hand while the other grabbed my chin, holding my head still as he leaned forward._

 _"You bite me and I'll pull all of your teeth out." He growled before pressing his lips against mine._

 _I thrashed harder than ever but my efforts were futile and the only thing I managed to do was exhaust myself. He ground his hips down against mine and I could feel the bulge in his pants. I whimpered and the feeling of utter helplessness that settled in my chest was overwhelming._

 _It made me feel so alone and in that moment I just wanted to die. I would rather die than endure this. My father would be ashamed to have such a pitiful son anyways. And my team abandoned me, so no one would miss me..._

"Logan, wake up. Shhh, everything's okay. It's just a dream. You're fine..." A comforting voice cooed as a hand glided through my hair.

I was shocked and disoriented when I was suddenly pulled into consciousness. I was shaking all over and could feel my damp, sweaty bangs sticking to my forehead.

My cheeks were wet with tears and I could feel a slight burn as they entered the gash in my cheek. But the most terrifying thing I felt was the arms that enveloped me in a warm hug.

I froze, paralyzed with fear. Oh _shit._ My heart hammered in my chest and I was too afraid to move. Too afraid to see who it was, because most of me was convinced it was Rorke. And that thought shook me to the very core.

"It's okay Logan, calm down. It wasn't real, you're safe." Keegan murmured, rubbing soothing circles into my back.

Relief flooded through me at the sound of his voice. I tried to say something but the only thing that came out was a strangled sob. He tightened his grip on me and my heart pounded obnoxiously in my ears.

"Shhh, it's okay."

I held onto him for dear life and finally broke down, tears pouring from my eyes as he tried to comfort me. We stayed like that for a while and eventually my shaking lessened, as did the tears that soaked my cheeks.

I marginally began to relax, as I was exhausted by this entire experience. I was comforted by Keegan's presence though. For the first time in a _long_ while, I actually felt a bit... safe.

I began to doze off, nearly asleep when I felt Keegan move back slightly, pulling away from me. My heart leapt into my throat and my eyes snapped open. I grabbed his wrist and looked at him with already teary eyes.

"D-don't go..." I whispered.

 **(A/N: *super high-pitched fangirl squeal* OMG HE _FINALLY_ SPOKE! YAAASSSS!) **

I was shocked by how fucked up my voice was... He seemed surprised, but laid down after a moment's hesitation, settling in beside me and playing with my hair. This time I didn't flinch.

"Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up." He said quietly, smiling as my eyes drifted closed.

The last thing I saw before I fell asleep was his smiling face.

* * *

 **The Next Day...**

 **Luke P.O.V**

I sat down in the rec room with everyone but Keegan and of course, Logan. Today, for multiple reasons, I wanted to see if a couple of the others could visit with Logan.

One- I would like to see how Logan is going to react, which would in turn give me an idea of how severe his PTSD is. And two- his friends have been dying to see him.

Especially Archer, and since he's injured I'll probably let him be one of the first to visit with Logan because I don't want him sneaking off to do it on his own.

He would probably tear his stitches since they're in his stomach. Speaking of which, I need to remember to remove them tomorrow... I sighed and looked at the others, all of whom were eagerly waiting for an update on their injured friend.

"Alright," I said, making sure I had everyone's full attention, "today I was thinking a few of you could go visit Logan. He is stable and there are currently no life threatening risks to his health. He needs to get used to being around you guys again, so you will visit him two at a time. Two today, two tomorrow, and so on, because sadly this is not going to be a quick process. Any questions before I move on?"

"Who gets to see him first?" Merrick inquired.

"Do I get to see him?" Hesh asked quietly.

All eyes turned to him, as everyone was surprised to hear his voice. He hadn't spoken since he woke up after the incident with Logan. Luke smiled and made eye contact with him.

"I was going to discuss the matter of you visiting with him tonight. He's still very touchy with that subject, but I'll definitely get you in there as soon as possible. Merrick, I've already given that some thought. I'm gonna let Archer see him before he sneaks in there on his own." He grinned.

Archer's eyes widened and he looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

Luke laughed and said, "Yes, Archer, I _have_ noticed your frustration. And frustrated patients aren't well behaved ones, which is why you're visiting him today. It's up to you guys to decide who the second person will be, but whoever that is needs to help Archer get around. If he tears his stitches, I'm gonna murder someone. And although only temporarily, Hesh, you need to avoid the infirmary."

Hesh sighed deeply and nodded sadly. Archer was grinning like a madman, laying in Toad's lap and allowing his boyfriend to play with his hair.

"Yay!" He giggled, kissing at Toad's hand.

He was a bit loopy, as he had a bunch of pain meds pumping through his veins. Toad merely smiled and ruffled his hair. The next half hour consisted of Hesh sulking in the corner while everyone else argued over who should be the second visitor...

* * *

 **Meanwhile...**

 **Logan P.O.V**

Just as promised, I woke up to see Keegan's sleeping face. It startled me at first, but after a moment my still half asleep brain remembered who he was and why he was laying beside me in bed.

I felt happiness bubble up inside me as his cloudy gray eyes opened. It was the first time I've felt happy in months. He smiled at me and a warm, fuzzy feeling began to spread throughout my body. I gave him a small smile back and he laughed, his eyes sparkling.

"Good morning." He rasped, yawning and sitting up.

"Morning," I mumbled, feeling a blush creep across my cheeks as my stomach growled.

He chuckled and asked, "What do you want for breakfast?"

I shrugged and said, "Food."

I didn't really care what kind of food, I was just _hungry._ I had never been a very picky eater to begin with.

"Alright then, I'll be back in a few minutes. Stay put."

He ruffled my hair and left to go grab us some breakfast. I sat there, looking around the room and thinking about random things. That is, until I thought about what Keegan looked like when I woke up a few minutes ago...

His straight, dark brown hair was tousled, a few strands falling into his closed eyes. His pink lips were parted slightly to emit soft snores, his tan cheeks decorated with a few freckles that ran across the bridge of his nose.

To put it shortly, he looked _sexy._ I blushed furiously and shook my head, attempting to dispell the dirty thoughts and images racing through my mind. Damned imagination...

I jumped when someone snapped their fingers in front of my face. I looked up to see that it was Keegan, with two trays of food. I hadn't noticed him come in... Seeing him after having _those_ thoughts made my face burn with embarrassment, my eyes drifting to the floor.

Little did I know he had had similar thoughts last night after I fell asleep...

"You okay, Logan?" He asked, frowning slightly as he wondered why I was blushing so hard.

I simply nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment. He helped me sit up and set a tray on my lap, spoon feeding me as usual since it still hurt if I moved too much.

After we both finished eating, he injected my pain meds into the IV port and sat beside me on the bed. He looked at me and hesitated for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

"So... Luke was wondering if maybe some of your friends could come see you today. It'll be Archer and one more person, whom they haven't decided yet... Are you okay with this?" He asked, looking deeply into my eyes.

My first reaction was fear. I don't like being around new people, even if I've known them for a while. I've known Hesh all my life and he turned on me... that means anyone can. And that makes me nervous.

Keegan seemed to sense my fear and cupped my cheeks, turning my head to look at him. I flinched slightly and shivered... his hands are cold.

"Hey, it's okay. I'll be right here the whole time and they can leave whenever you want. Hell, they don't even have to come in if you don't want to see them. This is your decision. We're all fine with whatever you want to do."

I sighed and looked up at him. My broken ribs burned slightly in protest at the quick change of the amount of air in my lungs, but I ignored it. My eyes slid down to his lips and I wanted to slap myself when I realized I was staring.

I began to wonder if I was gay and got really deep into thought over that subject- when I realized he was still waiting for an answer. Well shit. Now he probably thinks I'm dumb...

"Uhhh... I guess they can come visit... But promise you'll stay with me?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Of course! I wouldn't leave you, silly. But I'm gonna go to the bathroom before they come in, I'll be back in a minute." He grinned, leaving the room.

I felt a bit better knowing he'd be with me the whole time, but I was still uneasy. I was unsure about this whole thing... Keegan was back in a few minutes, just as he had said he would be. I'm so glad he doesn't lie to me...

He sat with me until the door opened again to reveal Kick, carrying a seemingly injured Archer. I nervously shifted closer to Keegan, who simply hugged me in response.

My heart began to beat faster as I grew more anxious. Kick smiled at me and carefully helped Archer sit down before plopping into the chair beside him.

"Hi Logan!" Archer chirped.

"How have you been?" Kick asked curiously.

"F-fine..." I stuttered shyly.

I stared at my suddenly _very_ fascinating hands. What if they wanted to hurt me? They didn't look like they would... but I hadn't thought Hesh would either. I thought Hesh would _never_ hurt me- but he did. That means anyone might. Even Keegan... I can't trust anyone. Trusting people only gets you hurt in the end.

I could picture them with knives in their hands, coming right at me with that same sadistic smirk Rorke always wore. I shrunk back away from them, my breathing beginning to speed up.

 _Please don't hurt me... nooo!_

Keegan pulled me close and shushed me, saying that he was here and no one was gonna hurt me. I heard them speaking in low voices, then shuffled footsteps retreating, and lastly, a door closing.

I think they left... did they leave? Or were they going to get more torture weapons to hurt me with? I shuddered at the thought.

"Logan, they're gone. They would never hurt you... none of us would. Are you okay?" Keegan asked, clearly concerned.

They're gone. That's all I got out of that, but it made me feel somewhat safer. More secure. I nodded into his chest and mumbled out a muffled apology.

I felt ashamed. I shouldn't have gotten upset... I overreacted. They didn't do anything wrong... Rorke was right. I'm the weakest and by _far_ the most unneeded member of the Ghost team...

"Don't apologize! It's alright! This'll take time, we all understand that. Besides, you did good. You spoke to them, and I say that's a step in the right direction. Don't you?" He asked, lifting my chin to look me in the eye.

I nodded silently, although I didn't feel any better. I made them leave just because I was a whiny little bitch... no wonder Rorke tortured me. I probably had it coming...

He patted me on the shoulder and I flinched slightly, pulled from my thoughts by the sudden movement.

"You did fine. Get some rest, alright? Luke is gonna come check on ya in a while." He grinned, heading for the door.

Fear surged through me. What if I had another nightmare? What if I woke up and he wasn't there?! The mere thought made my stomach plummet into the floor.

I put a hand out and said, "P-please... stay..."

He turned to smile at me and walked back over.

"Okay, but I'm gonna have to go when Luke comes in to check on you." He explained, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Mhmmm..." I mumbled, not really listening as I was already half asleep.

I fell asleep and the nightmares never came. All because Keegan was there by my side.

* * *

 **A/N: *squeals* AAAAAHHHHHHH THEY'RE SO F***ING CUUUTE! OMG I'M GONNA DIEEE! PLEASE REVIEW! THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR** **! :D**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hi! I'm sorry, I know my updates have been a lot less frequent lately. And I am sad to say that they will continue to be so because school starts up again next Wednesday! In less than a week. So again, I apologize for the wait, but as always, hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 **Archer P.O.V**

Even in the land of drugged oblivion I was currently stuck in, I knew something was up. The way Logan looked at Keegan did not give off a 'you're my friend' vibe. No, no, it gave off a more... 'I wanna be your boyfriend' kind of vibe.

There were several more reasons why I suspected he liked Keegan, the first one being he was a lot calmer around him. He seemed to feel safer and more secure with the sniper by his side.

Two- he's happier and doesn't flinch every time Keegan moves, unlike when the others are near him. The list goes on, but I _know_ that look. He definitely likes him.

I grinned as I fantasized about having another couple in our group. That'd be fun... maybe we could get some giraffes in here too (A/N: I did mention he's currently drugged into oblivion, right?).

I've seen how they fight on YouTube and I gotta say- it would be extremely entertaining to watch two very tall animals bash their necks against each other. I giggled at the image it created in my mind. Damn, that's a funny picture.

Toad looked down at me with a smile and asked, "What's so funny?"

"Giraffes..." I giggled, nuzzling my face against his hand as it threaded through my hair.

He raised an eyebrow and I faintly heard a few of the others laugh.

"Why are giraffes funny?"

"Caaause they fight byyy bashing their neeecks together!" I slurred, grinning dopily up at him.

He laughed slightly and looked at someone out of my line of sight.

"Jesus Christ, Luke. What the bloody hell did you give him? He's talking crazy over here about giraffes bashing their necks together..." He trailed off, waiting for an explanation.

I whined and whacked his arm.

"Heeey! 'M not crazy, ye idiot." I cried indignantly, still thinking about giraffes... we really do need to get one.

He could be very useful to have on the team. I'll even name him Carl! We'll be best friends and I'll tell him to sit on anyone who says otherwise. I giggled, as I was able to picture it in my mind... it honestly looked awesome.

"Shhh, you need rest. Go to sleep." Toad murmured, stroking my hair.

Oh, well that feels nice. Buuut it's making me tired and the worst part is I'm _already_ tired from all the meds in my system. My eyes drooped and my mind wandered. What if a purple lion shows up out of nowhere and eats Carl? That'd be bad...

I tried to stay awake but it was much more difficult than it sounds. I felt myself being picked up and heard Toad's voice, saying something about putting somebody to bed... Hmmm, I wonder who that could be?

The hallways we went through swayed as he walked, and soon I heard a door open. Then I was gently laid on a soft surface that was so comfortable I never felt like moving again. Ever.

I felt familiar callused hands pull my shirt off and tuck warm blankets around my small form.

A loving kiss was pressed to my cheek before Toad said, "Goodnight, baby."

I heard a few footsteps that gradually faded to nothing as the darkness enveloped me, dragging me into the land of unconsciousness.

* * *

 **Keegan P.O.V**

I left the infirmary as I was now sure that Logan was well and truly asleep. I didn't want to leave him but I had some things to discuss with Luke. I hurried to the rec room and passed Toad on my way.

He was carrying an almost asleep Archer, presumably to bed. I nodded to him, but didn't say anything. He nodded in return and continued down the hall, and I finally reached the rec room.

I sat on the couch beside Luke and said, "Logan's sleeping. You heard what happened with Kick and Archer in there, right?"

He nodded and replied, "Yeah, I heard from Kick. Honestly his response wasn't all that bad. I assume you were able to calm him down?"

"Yes, but how is he supposed to get used to the others being around again if he freaks out every time they come in?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Trust me, he'll get used to it. Give him time. I _did_ tell you this wouldn't be a short process. Plus I'd say his PTSD is about moderate. Gary's was severe and he's better now. Logan will be fine, you'll see." He said, smiling encouragingly.

Roach groaned and threw an arm over his eyes.

"Would you stop talking about all my issues? It bugs me..." He whined.

"I actually needed to speak with you about something."

"Any conversation that starts like that is never good..."

"I just had an idea... can't you at least listen to it?" Luke pouted.

Roach let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Fine." He mumbled dramatically, waving a hand at him.

"Okay, so you're aware that Logan is currently terrified of Hesh, but Hesh didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"Mhmmm."

"And that you both have PTSD and a few other... similarities in that category?"

Roach removed his arm and swung his legs over the side of the couch, sitting up to look at him. He nodded silently in reply to his question.

"Well... I was thinking you could go talk to him tomorrow, since you have some of the same problems and would understand how he feels." He said slowly, choosing his words carefully.

Roach stayed silent for a few minutes, staring at the floor and thinking.

He looked back at Luke and said, "No, I wouldn't understand. Yeah, I've been captured and tortured and the whole bit. But each situation regarding those things is different, depending on who took you and what... tools they used."

"Yes but-"

"Furthermore, I grew up dealing with that shit. I was used to it by the time anyone else got their hands on me. Logan's never dealt with anything like that before and it would scare him more, causing hallucinations and panic attacks to occur more frequently than with myself."

 _"More_ frequently? Are you still seeing them?" Luke asked, now confused.

By 'them', he meant Roach's family. After moving in with Luke, he had often hallucinated about Charlie or John, sometimes even both. Needless to say it had scared the shit out of him, but it stopped after several years.

Roach glanced at the corner of the room, his eyes locking on a certain spot. Luke turned to look, following his eyes. But there was nothing there.

"Roach?" He asked, waving his arms around in an attempt to gain his attention.

The blood had completely drained from Roach's face and his hands were shaking. Ghost seemed really concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked, but Roach didn't seem to hear him.

He got up and stumbled for the door, saying something about needing some air before disappearing into the hallway.

Ghost quickly went after him but returned a few minutes later, shaking his head in defeat.

"Where'd he go?" I asked, my gaze switching from Luke to Ghost, then back again.

Luke sighed, glancing at the corner where Roach had been staring.

"I think he saw Charlie. He'll be back later, don't worry. He's probably just gone to wander around base or meet a contact to get his mind off things."

"He sees him every once in a while... I hope he's okay." Ghost said, pawing at the back of his neck.

"He'll be fine." I said confidently.

Roach was always fine. I mean, sure, he got hurt way more than any regular person ever had. But he always ended up fine in the end, which amazed me to no end. Ghost reluctantly nodded and sat down with a huff. Luke turned to look at me.

"We really need to get Hesh in there to see him..." He muttered, absently scratching his head in thought.

"I don't see how we're gonna do that. Every time I've tried to mention Hesh, he screams and cries and has a terrible panic attack. Yesterday when I tried to discuss it with him, he freaked out and I couldn't calm him down! He blacked out from not being able to breathe!" I exclaimed, flailing my arms about for emphasis.

Hesh, whom I had forgotten was in the room, released a truly pitiful sob and curled onto his side on the floor, crying. Well shit. The others glanced at him with sympathetic eyes. We all felt so bad for him...

Luke sighed deeply and said, "Hesh, don't cry. We'll fix this, I promise."

Kick mumbled something quietly and sat beside Hesh, hugging him and rubbing his back. The older Walker quieted after a few minutes and I honestly think he fell asleep. I'm not very surprised though.

He hasn't been sleeping much at all lately and when he did, he was plagued with nightmares about horrific things happening to Logan.

Everyone knew he felt that Logan's capture had been completely his fault, when in reality there wasn't anything he could've done to prevent it. But that didn't stop him from blaming himself.

"I still think having Gary talk with him would be a good idea. He'd understand him more than any of us could..." Luke sighed.

"I say we wait a day or two for that. Roach didn't seem to like the idea, and it's not like we can make him go in there if he doesn't want to. Plus, Logan has to be able to stay in a room with people other than you or myself for longer than 2 minutes to actually carry out a conversation."

"Is that how long it took before he freaked?" Luke asked, looking surprised.

I nodded silently, wondering what he was thinking. He shook his head in disbelief and laughed slightly.

"Damn. That's a lot longer than it took Gary... The first time I tried getting him used to people again, I had Mark come over to see him. He flipped out as soon as he walked through the door."

"How bad?"

"He screamed bloody murder until Mark left the room. It doesn't sound that bad until you experience it, but his voice was higher pitched than other kids his age and he was loud enough to bust everyone's eardrums. We both had a headache for the rest of the day..." He explained with a grin.

I was suddenly extremely thankful that Logan hadn't done that. I think I would've died... I went to reply but was cut off by an ear piercing scream that erupted from down the hall. Without a second's delay I bolted from the room, running for the infirmary, where I knew it had come from.

I burst through the door to see Logan, his eyes tightly closed as he writhed around on the bed, whimpers of fear escaping his lips every couple seconds.

Sweat dampened his bangs and his cheeks were wet with tears, his fingers clenching in the sheets below him as he tried to escape his own personal slice of hell that his mind had so generously created for him.

I rushed over and sat beside him, pulling him into my lap while carefully avoiding the hands that lashed out at me. I hugged him tightly and could already feel the tears leaking from his eyes soaking through my shirt. I didn't care.

"Shhh, shhh, Logan. You're fine, it's just a dream. Wake up..." I murmured, combing my fingers through his thick blonde hair.

He whimpered in protest and tried to pull away, but I simply tightened my grip, idly wondering what was going on in there. After several minutes of sitting there, the room filled with only the sounds of Logan's whimpers and harsh pants for breath, he awoke with a gasp.

I felt him tense in my arms, his muscles as taut as the string of a bow. That was the only warning I received before he wrenched himself from my grip, throwing an arm out in defense and hitting me square in the stomach. The wind was shoved from my lungs and I instinctively recoiled, gasping for breath.

Logan sat there, shrinking in on himself and shaking like a leaf. I don't think he had meant to hit me, and my guess was confirmed when he began to cry harder, mumbling out fearful apologies repeatedly.

"It's okay, Logan." I breathed as soon as I was able to get enough air into my lungs to speak.

He cringed, as though expecting to be hit, when I leaned forward. Instead, I gently pulled him back into my lap with a smile as I rubbed his back comfortingly.

We sat there for a while and eventually his breathing slowed, his tense muscles relaxing against me. The tears stopped and the shaking slowed to small, nearly imperceptible tremors. I felt him move slightly, his head resting on my shoulder.

"K-Keeg'n?" He asked quietly, and I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"Yes, Logan?"

"Th... thank you..." He whispered, and I could've sworn I felt his lips brush against my cheek for a fraction of a second.

My heart literally skipped a beat. Woah... did he just kiss me? My cheeks burned furiously just thinking about it. Then I mentally slapped myself.

For fuck's sake, Logan's just been tortured and molested. I highly doubt he's gonna try and initiate anything, and even then he'd only do that if he liked me, which brought my chances down to around negative fucking a million.

"Any time." I grinned, ignoring what I clearly only _thought_ I had felt.

My imagination was being a real asshole today... It was probably because I hadn't had much sleep lately. Logan needed a lot of attention and almost constant care, but I didn't mind. I actually enjoyed spending time with him. He was really sweet...

He sniffled and said, "'M s'rry... I hit you..."

Between the meds in his system and the exhaustion clawing at his consciousness, I'd say he could still speak impressively well considering the circumstances.

I shifted slightly and rested my head on top of the soft blonde curls, letting out a sigh. The slight burn in my side told me bruises were already beginning to form, leaving a dull throb in their wake.

"It's alright. I'm fine..." I said, waving off his concern.

"Y-you s're?" He mumbled, and I could tell he was only half awake at this point.

He yawned and it was the most adorable thing I'd seen all week. Screw that, all _month._ So much for Roach being the cute one... I smiled and patted his thigh.

"Yeah, I'm sure. You hit like a girl anyways." I teased, nearly screaming with joy when he smiled sleepily at me.

Hah, I made him _smile._ I am fantastic. I couldn't stop smiling. After a few more minutes he fell asleep and I made sure he was really out before laying him down, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders and tucking him in.

I leaned forward and I'll never know why I did it, but I pressed a kiss to his forehead. I then pulled his limp hand from where it was tangled in the hem of my shirt, and left the room.

I never saw the sneaky little grin on his face as the door closed behind me.

* * *

 **A/N: OOOOOH WHAT'S UP WITH LOGAN?! DID HE LIKE IT WHEN KEEGAN KISSE- of course he did. Honestly people, who wouldn't? I know, I know, he was just molested and all.**

 **But he trusts Keegan more than any of the others, plus he's liked him for like forever. SO YES, HE'S HAPPY CAUSE KEEGAN KISSED HIM! GIVE THE POOR CHILD A BREAK!**

 ***yawns***

 **Guys, it's literally 4:30 in the morning... so please don't stab me in the face if there's a spelling error I missed while proofreading. Anywho, this was a long ass chapter, so PLEASE tell me your thoughts! I love hearing from all of my lovely readers... :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hello! Uuugh, school's coming up quickly. In my opinion summer should be infinite. Wouldn't that be wonderful?**

 **But then I suppose no one would have an education... but the world's already full of idiots anyways, what's a few more? Enjoy the chapter! ;)**

* * *

 **Archer P.O.V**

I woke up to a pair of hands lightly patting my cheeks, a far away voice saying my name. I whined and turned away, not wanting to wake up. I was just so comfy...

"Archer, baby, c'mon. Wake up."

I heard shuffling in the background, and clinking as metal objects rattled against each other... weird. I gotta say, those are some pretty odd sounds to hear while you're trying to sleep.

My bed was so warm and soft... I never wanted to move again. But of course the hands returned, grabbing my shoulders and shaking them.

Okay, now I was just annoyed. I growled and opened one eye to see who the perpetrator was so I could punch him later. Oh, it's Toad. Maybe I won't punch him... _maybe._

"Wha' d'you want?" I grumbled, putting my best effort into glaring at him.

He smiled down at me and the glare melted away. So much for trying to be mad at him...

"Hey, Luke needs to remove your stitches. You can go back to sleep in a few minutes, when he's done." He explained, laying beside me and hugging me.

I groaned in annoyance and Toad patted my back reassuringly.

"Oh come on. It doesn't hurt and he'll be done quicker if you sit still."

I saw movement on my opposite side and shifted slightly, glancing over to see Luke sitting in a chair by my bed.

He was wearing a pair of blue latex gloves and setting several shiny medical tools on the bedside table, as well as a bottle of peroxide and fresh bandages.

I looked down at my left side, where the stab wound was. My bandages had already been removed. I suppose Toad did it while I was still sleeping... I yawned, wishing Luke would hurry the fuck up so I could go back to sleep. I'm so tired...

I had almost dozed off, nearly jumping out of my skin when I felt a cold substance being pressed against my wound.

"Sorry..." Luke muttered distractedly while dabbing at it.

It kinda stung and I winced, my mind vaguely registering that it was peroxide. I squirmed uncomfortably, wishing that he was already finished. Toad tightened his arms around me and moved one up to play with my hair.

"Are you mad at me for waking you up?" He asked, and I could literally _hear_ the smile in his voice.

I jabbed a finger into his side in response, making him giggle.

"I'll take that as a yes... but I promise I'll make it up to you later!" He laughed, grabbing my wrist when I tried to poke him again.

I felt the cold metal of scissors slide under the first suture and heard a quiet _snip_ as they cut the thread. I cringed and scrunched up my nose as I felt the thread get pulled through my skin. Oh god that's the creepiest feeling...

Toad chuckled and said, "Geez, would you relax? It's not that bad."

I ignored him and tried to do the same with the unsettling pulling feeling in my side. It made my stomach twist into knots and goose bumps rise on my skin. At least Toad was there though... I honestly think the only reason I managed to sit still was because he was there.

I think I had around 17 stitches. At some point I had lost count of how many Luke removed.

I sighed and nuzzled my face into Toad's chest... he's so warm. I often can't sleep when he isn't in bed with me because I get really cold at night and I'm so used to having him (a.k.a- the living furnace) beside me.

He trailed soft kisses up my neck and I melted into his arms, the feeling of having my stitches removed pushed from my mind. Suddenly sitting still wasn't so difficult...

Despite the fact that it felt like years, Luke was done in a matter of minutes. He cleaned it again and with Toad's help, wrapped it in fresh bandages.

Then I felt peroxide being rubbed onto a section of my arm and growled in annoyance. He was done removing my stitches and now I needed a shot? Ugh, why can't they just let me die?

Toad grinned and said, "You're so grumpy when you're tired. He just needs to give you some pain meds, then you can go to sleep."

I grumbled and thought up extremely negative things about both of them. I felt a pinch in my arm and winced, kicking Toad in the shin to make myself feel better. I succeeded.

"Hey! No kicking!" Toad whined, tugging lightly on my hair.

Luke laughed and said, "Okay, okay, all done. I'll be back to check on you later, Archer."

I listened intently while he cleaned up his supplies, waiting for the sound of the door shutting. When it came, I sighed and went back to sleep, taking comfort in Toad's presence.

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I awoke with a yawn and warily glanced around the room. No one was there. I slumped back onto my bed with a sigh. All of my muscles ache and I'm so tired... ugh.

 _Where's Keegan?_ I wondered, glancing at the door as if he would suddenly walk through it.

I wished he would. I miss him... I felt a blush spread across my cheeks at the thought of him. He's so cute... but someone like me doesn't deserve an amazing man like him.

I'm just a useless Ghost who takes up space and ruins everything. My heart sunk and my blush disappeared, the blood draining from my face as thoughts of Rorke slithered into my mind.

I could feel his hands roaming over my body, poking and prodding wherever they pleased, completely ignoring my protests. I hadn't been strong enough to prevent him from dragging me off the beach that day. I hadn't been strong enough to stop him from _touching_ me.

I can't do anything right... Tears rose up in my eyes and slid down my cheeks. I buried my face in my hands and cried, blocking out the pain surging through my upper body at the movement.

I heard the door open and close, footsteps hastily approaching the bed, but I ignored it, not caring who it was or what they wanted.

"Logan? What's wrong?" Luke asked, the bed dipping as he sat down beside me.

 _He's gonna hurt you..._ My mind automatically cautioned.

I had been hurt so much that now I had a habit of thinking that whoever walked up to me intended to harm me. I tried to ignore it now that I was 'safe', although sometimes it still got the better of me.

I shrunk away from him, flinching when he attempted to pry my hands away from my face. He tried to get me to talk to him for a few minutes, then gave up with a sigh and left the room. Shortly after he left, Keegan ran in. Warm arms enveloped me and I jumped in fright.

"Hey, hey, easy, it's just me. What's wrong?" He asked quietly, leaning down slightly in an attempt to look at my face.

I sniffled and spread my fingers apart, peeking in between them to peer up at him. He smiled at me and I felt my heart speed up. God, he's so cute... no! He deserves someone better. He doesn't deserve to be stuck with a useless weakling like me... no one does.

More tears welled up in my eyes. He seemed to notice and his smile faltered.

"What's wrong, hmmm? Did you see something?"

I shook my head.

"...Did Luke scare you? If he did, he didn't mean to, I promise."

"Nooo." I mumbled.

"Then what is it? You can tell me. I won't even tell anyone if you don't want me to." He said, running a hand through my hair.

I sighed... I don't wanna bug him with all of my problems.

"I d-don't want to bother you..." I muttered.

"Hey," he said, ruffling my hair affectionately, "you'll never be a bother to me, no matter what happens."

"P-promise?" I asked, holding out my pinky.

He chuckled and wrapped his pinky around mine.

"Yes."

I paused, wondering where to start. After a moment I had managed to figure out what to say.

"A-am I... useful on this team?" I asked timidly.

I instinctively tensed and shrunk back slightly, expecting to be whacked for asking such a thing. Rorke and Hesh always hurt me when I asked them a question...

Keegan looked genuinely shocked for nearly a full minute. I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes...

"Logan, of course you are! You're an amazing soldier and you're very important to the team! Why would you ever think otherwise?"

"B... because R-Rorke said I was... holding everyone back, so you guys d-ditched me..." I said quietly, tears blurring my vision again.

Keegan didn't respond, simply hugging me until the tears stopped flowing from my eyes. After several minutes, he leaned back to look me in the eyes.

"Logan, you're practically a little brother to everyone on this team. We all love you and enjoy hanging out with you. You're a valuable member of the team and we got you back as soon as it was possible. None of us have or will ever even _think_ about leaving you behind, okay?" He said sternly.

"B-but... Rorke, he said-"

"I know what he said. But Logan, he's _dead_ , alright? Gone and never coming back. He was just trying to upset you, nothing he said was true."

I paused for a moment, biting back my next argument in fear of speaking the person's name. After a moment, I decided to just say it.

"What about what H...Hesh said?" I asked quietly, glancing around worriedly as I imagined him bursting into the room.

He hesitated, obviously not expecting Hesh to be mentioned.

"...What did he say?" He asked cautiously.

"He said I get in e-everyone's way and that I'm expendable..."

He sighed and hurriedly wiped a tear away as it rolled from the corner of his eye.

"Logan, your brother loves you. He would never say anything like that to you. I assure you, that wasn't Hesh. It was Rorke fucking with your mind."

"B-but I saw him! He stabbed me..." I protested disbelievingly.

I know it was Hesh... I _saw_ him.

"He... he stabbed you?" Keegan asked, a thoughtful expression on his face.

I nodded and stared at the floor, my fingers thoughtlessly running over the bandages surrounding my leg where I had been stabbed. I gulped nervously, the whole scene playing over and over again in my mind.

I specifically remembered the pain. The intense, fiery pain the knife caused as it sunk into my leg, like a hot knife through butter. I shuddered and buried my face in Keegan's neck, breathing in his scent and reminding myself that I was fine...

He seemed to know what I was thinking about (somehow he always did) and hugged me, gently rocking back and forth until I fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, there it is! Next chapter, I promise they will make some _real_ progress with Logan's issues. I have a plan now, so it's all good. ;)**

 **I apologize for the wait (today was the 3rd day of school, so no, I wasn't just being lazy) and I am sorry if anyone is bored.** **It will get more exciting soon! This is just that one part in every story that's calm and quiet and boring.**

 **Anyways, as I said, next chapter will be more entertaining. Please leave a review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello there... hehehe. Sorry for the wait! I'm still getting used to being in school again, and I've had a bunch of projects and assignments to do.**

 **Plus I've been working on writing some other things as well. Not to mention that my power's been out for a day and that screwed up the Wi-Fi. And this chapter is SUPER long. So yea... I've been busy.**

 **But to be fair, I** ** _did_** **warn you guys that the updates would be less frequent... and now they are, so I honestly don't know why I'm apologizing. Huh...**

 **Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 **Keegan P.O.V**

I quietly closed the door to the infirmary and practically ran to the rec room. The others greeted me as I came in, but I was looking for Luke and didn't have time to talk to them.

"Where's Luke?" I asked Ghost.

He was one of the few people who was awake, most of the others were napping or just not in here.

"He's grabbing some food in the mess hall. Is everything alright?" He asked, unconsciously combing his hand though Roach's hair.

I sighed and said, "Yeah, it's fine. I just... got an idea and wanted to talk it over with him."

He nodded and glanced at Roach as he shifted slightly. He was totally out, as was Archer, Kick, Soap, and Hesh. Ghost waited a moment for the younger man to settle down before he continued to speak.

"Okay, well Luke should be back in a minute or two if you want to wait for him."

I shook my head.

"I'm gonna go see if I can catch him on his way back. See you later!" I smiled, waving goodbye as I rushed out the door and down the hall.

I turned a corner and damn near knocked Luke down.

"Oh, sorry!" He apologized, even though it wasn't his fault.

"It's fine, I was looking for you! I think I figured out a way to convince Logan that Hesh didn't do anything to him."

His eyes widened and I followed him as he continued down the hallway.

"Really? How?"

"Well, I was talking to him earlier, when you sent me in to see what was up with him. He asked me if he was useful on this team because apparently Rorke told him he was holding us back so we ditched him. Now he has some serious self doubt issues and that's awful but it's not my point."

Luke raised an eyebrow.

"I suspected that he had self doubt issues, but wasn't able to confirm it. That's really sad, and we'll discuss it more later. But, if not that, then what _is_ your point?"

"Hold your horses, I'm getting there!" I laughed.

"I don't have any horses, silly."

"They're imaginary, Lulu."

He pouted and traced a fake tear down his cheek.

"Mean."

"Suck it up. But anyways, he told me that 'Hesh' told him he got in everyone's way and was expendable. And of course I said he wasn't and everything, but _then_ he said 'Hesh' stabbed him. Do you remember when we watched the video on the flash drive and he got stabbed? Rorke gave him a shot of something and stabbed him. But he said Hesh did it. Do you see what I'm getting at here?" I asked excitedly.

"You want to show him that part of the video and prove to him that it was Rorke and not Hesh?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

He smiled and patted my shoulder.

"That's a great idea. But he'll probably have a panic attack if he sees Rorke, even if it's in a video. You know how scared he is of him. You can't even say his name around him without him shaking and looking around the room." He sighed.

I nodded and replied, "Yeah, I know. But I'll sit with him and try to keep him calm. The video clip is only about 30 seconds long and we'll stop it before it gets... erm... gory. I'm pretty sure we'll manage."

Luke sighed and seemed to think for a few minutes.

"Alright, I suppose we can try that. But just to make sure he'll be okay, I'm gonna give him a light sedative before you show him anything."

I nodded. I could definitely see the sense in that.

"So when do you want to do this?" I asked.

"Well," he said, glancing at his watch, "it's 11:17 now. I say we do it at noon, that way we have time to discuss it with everyone and give Logan his meds."

"Okay, sounds good. What about Hesh?"

He shrugged.

"He's not gonna listen to any of us until he sees some results. I say we just leave him be."

I sighed. The subject of Hesh made me sad nowadays. It was terrible to see how close the Walker brothers had been before Logan was taken and now Hesh's name couldn't even be mentioned around him. Luke put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Everything's gonna be fine. You'll see."

* * *

 **5 Minutes Until Noon**

 **Logan P.O.V**

I jumped when the door flew open and Luke entered, holding a syringe filled with a clear liquid.

He smiled at me and said, "Hey, Logan. Just came to give you your meds. You ate lunch, right?"

I nodded quietly. I had eaten about half... that counts though, right? He injected the medicine into my IV port and looked over my injuries, cleaning them and wrapping them in fresh bandages. I tried not to think about where, or rather, _who_ , they had come from.

Keegan came in while he was finishing up and my heart skipped a beat. He's so cute... It was weird though. He had a laptop and a flash drive in his hand. I shrugged mentally.

Maybe we're gonna watch a movie. A couple days ago, we watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off together. It was the best thing I had done since... since being rescued.

He returned the smile, although it seemed a bit... forced. I yawned. Ugh, I'm getting tired. This is the downside to being filled with meds. I feel like a bear who _should_ be hibernating right now, but isn't.

"Hi, Logan! I brought something to show you." He grinned, sitting on the bed beside me.

"Bye Logan! I'll be back later to check on you, alright?" Luke said, waving to me as he left the room.

I shyly waved back and mouthed 'bye'. I wasn't as comfortable with Luke yet, but he's okay. I talked to him sometimes... but I mostly just spoke to Keegan. I trusted him the most. Speaking of Keegan, he was setting something up on the computer.

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"A video clip. It's very short, but it's gonna help you a lot."

That made me kinda nervous...

"What do you mean?"

"Well... do you remember what we discussed this morning?"

My stomach dropped. Suddenly I didn't feel very tired anymore... I didn't like our conversation from earlier. He wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Y-yes... what about it?"

"I know you think Hesh hurt you and I know you're afraid of him. But you honestly have no reason to be. This will prove that he never touched you, nor did he say anything mean to you. Just- just watch, okay?" He said, pressing play.

An uneasy feeling crept into my stomach and when the video began to play, I understood why. There I was, in restraints and gagged on that awful metal table. My breath caught in my throat. I was covered in blood and bruises.

When Rorke walked in I gasped and jabbed the pause button, slamming the laptop shut and feeling slightly relieved when Rorke's face disappeared from the screen.

"T-take it away, Keegan! I don't w-wanna see anymore!" I cried, shoving at him and hoping for the first time that he would go away.

I was confused as to why he was showing me things like this. I thought he was trying to help me get _better_!

He grabbed my wrists and said, "Logan. Logan, listen to me."

"Why?! Why are y-you showing me t-this?!"

I tugged on my arms, but he refused to let go. My heart raced and my breathing sped up. Oh _shit!_ This is why I didn't want to trust anyone in the first place! They may seem nice at first, but in the end they always-

"Logan, stop it! Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you. Would you please listen to me for just a minute?" Keegan begged, loosening his hold on my wrists when I started wheezing.

"W-why would you show me t-that? You know I'm scared of him!" I whimpered, pointing at the laptop with a shaking finger.

Tears escaped from my eyes and I yanked my wrists away from him, burying my face in my hands.

"I'm not trying to scare you. I wouldn't even show you this if I didn't have to! I'm trying to help you. Don't you trust me?"

I sniffled and peeked at him from between my fingers. He smiled, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"I don't know anymore..." I mumbled, moving back away from him slightly when he wrapped his arms around me.

"I would never do anything to hurt you. I promise. You'll understand why I'm showing you this in a minute... but I have to turn it back on first."

I shuddered and inched closer to him.

"You... you'll turn it off if I ask... right?" I breathed, still trying to stop shaking.

He nodded.

"I will. But there's only about 20 seconds left. I think you can handle it." He said, smiling reassuringly at me while opening the laptop again.

I blinked to clear my blurry vision and tried to stay calm as he pressed play again. It seemed a bit easier now for some reason... maybe it's the effects of whatever Luke gave me earlier.

My attention was dragged back to the screen as Rorke said, "Morning, Junior. Have a nice nap?"

He picked up a syringe and filled it with something purple. My stomach lurched and I shivered violently. I vaguely felt Keegan pull me closer and say something along the lines of, "It's alright, he's gone now."

When he jabbed the needle into my neck, I cried out at the same time as I did in the video, practically _feeling_ the burn as the needle entered my neck.

I nearly jumped off the bed as well, but Keegan held onto me and shushed me, playing with my hair as a distraction. It didn't help much, but I was glad he was there. I'm pretty sure if I was alone, I would've smashed the laptop in a desperate attempt to make Rorke go away.

I flinched when he spoke again.

"Oh, shut up. If you think that hurts, it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse in a few minutes." He laughed cruelly.

I shuddered as his voice rang in my ears. I jumped again when I screamed in the video and started shaking as if it were negative a million degrees in the room. Keegan pulled me closer and it was only then that I realized I was shaking now as well.

A few tears trailed down my cheeks but somehow I kept watching. I managed to stay relatively calm despite the fact that all I wanted to do was scream and cry along with myself in the video because of the horrifying images flashing through my mind.

I think Keegan was a large help in that area though. I found myself feeling glad that he was there with me, and I leaned into his embrace. Since my attention was focused on the screen, I missed the loving smile that formed on his lips.

I shrank back when Rorke pulled his knife from the sheath, approaching the table. When I realized what was about to happen, it hit me like a brick wall. I remembered this. My leg started to ache, because apparently it remembered this too.

But now I was confused. Where was Hesh? He's the one who stabbed me, so why isn't he there? Keegan must've seen the confusion on my face because he stopped the video to explain. He had stopped it just in time too. The knife hovered above my leg and I felt like I was going to be sick.

He shut the laptop and brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumb. It didn't help though, because I started crying harder when the reason why he showed me this video clicked.

I felt so guilty. I had... I had _hurt_ Hesh. Blamed him for something he hadn't done. I remembered his hurt expression when I had moved away from him when he came to rescue me with the rest of the team. He had been to relieved, so _happy_ to see me and I had pushed him away.

It was so clear now and I felt incredibly stupid for being afraid of him in the first place. He would never hurt me. I never should've doubted that.

But just because Rorke had injected some purple shit into me, I had been afraid of my own big brother. Was that all it took to tear a relationship like ours apart? I was ashamed that I had been fooled so easily.

Why was I so stupid? Maybe the team really doesn't need me around... they surely don't if I'm this daft. Keegan just hugged me while I cried. He seemed to realize that I had figured things out and that silence was the best thing for me about now.

I gasped in ragged breaths for air, all of which sent a spike of pain through my ribs. But I didn't care. I knew that it could be much _much_ worse, and to be honest, I felt it should be. I couldn't believe how stupid I was...

After about 15 minutes I managed to calm down some. After that all I wanted was Hesh. I needed... I needed to talk to him. To tell him how sorry I was and hope to God that he'll forgive me. I tried to sit up, intending to go to Hesh myself, but Keegan pushed me back down.

"What are you doing, Logan?"

I pointed to the door and said, "Have to t-talk to Hesh!"

His eyebrows flew up and he was surprised, but I could tell he was happy too. The fact that I made him happy made me feel better.

"Are you sure?" He asked, remembering the last time Hesh tried to come see me.

My heart sunk. Tears gathered in my eyes and slid down my cheeks.

"D-does Hesh not... wanna see m-me?" I choked out, although deep down I understood.

"Oh, no! Logan, of course he wants to see you! That's not what I meant at all! I was asking if _you_ were sure you wanted to see _him!_ Don't cry..."

I sniffled and mumbled, "Why wouldn't I want... to see him? He didn't d-do anything wrong."

He smiled at me and said, "You didn't either Logan. I know what you're thinking, and this isn't your fault. But I'll go get Hesh, okay? Stay right here!"

I nodded and followed him with my eyes as he ran out the door.

* * *

 **Hesh P.O.V**

I sighed as I stared up at the rec room ceiling. I wish I could go see Logan... I miss him. I miss his fluffy blonde hair and mischievous brown eyes. I miss his bright smile and cute laugh. I miss _making_ him laugh... I _almost_ smiled as images of him flashed through my mind.

Tears gathered in my eyes as I came to the usual conclusion- I wouldn't miss him at all if only I had saved him that day on the beach. I wouldn't miss him because I'd be with him right now.

But I hadn't saved him and he had suffered greatly- all because of me. I heard my friends talking but I ignored them. It probably wasn't anything important anyways.

I jumped as someone ran into the room, but I didn't look to see who it was. I didn't care if it was anyone other than Logan. He was the _only_ person I wanted to see right now. In fact, if he was the last person I _ever_ saw, I'd be perfectly content.

"Hesh! Hesh, get off your ass and go see your brother! Right _now!"_ Keegan yelled.

I turned to glare at him.

"He doesn't want to see me, you idiot! Haven't you _been_ here for the past couple weeks?!" I screeched.

He ignored me and grabbed my arm, pulling me up off the floor.

"But he _does!_ I showed him the video and- and now he's better and he's asking for _you!"_

Now I was just confused. Logan watched a video? Was he talking about... _the_ video?! I had no idea how that could help Logan in any way, but Keegan seemed to be serious.

In fact, he was _so_ serious that he literally dragged me across the room and out the door. The others were too stunned to say anything at first, but after a moment they all got up and followed us down the hall.

When we reached the infirmary, he shoved me through the door and left me alone with Logan, who was laying in his hospital bed. My heart sunk when I saw his tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes. I could immediately tell that he had been crying.

I was so shocked that I almost jumped when he reached for me.

"H-Hesh... I'm so s-s-sorry!" He cried, tears beginning to run down his cheeks again.

I was beside him faster than the next tear left his eye. I hugged him and an indescribable relief flowed through me when he returned the hug. He buried his face in my chest and cried, his tears soaking through my shirt, but I couldn't have cared less.

He was _hugging_ me. I was holding my baby brother and now I wouldn't have given a shit if the Earth blew up. But despite my happiness, Logan was crying so hard that I was worried he couldn't breathe.

"Hey, what's wrong? Logan, why are you so upset?" I asked, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

He raised his tear filled eyes to meet mine.

"B-because I was so... _so_ s-stupid. I shoulda known y-you would never hurt me but I-I was stupid... I'm really... _really_ s-sorry." He said quietly.

I smiled at him and cupped his cheeks.

"You don't need to be sorry! None of this was your fault, alright? _None_ of it. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should've been more careful-"

He shook his head so fast I was scared it would fall off.

"Nooo! N-not your fault..." He muttered.

He said it with so much confidence that he damn near convinced _me._

"We'll say it's Merrick's fault and call it even, alright?" I chuckled, my heart nearly stopping when he laughed.

Joy filled me to the brim when I realized that _I_ had made him laugh. Then his eyelids drooped and I could tell he was trying not to yawn.

"'Kay..." He mumbled.

"Looks like it's time for you to take a nap." I laughed, ruffling his hair.

He finally gave in and yawned.

"Mmmm..." He hummed, "Stay here..."

"You don't need to worry about that, Log. I won't be leaving you again for a _long_ while."

I fixed the blankets and rearranged his pillows, and when I turned back around he was sound asleep. I smiled and kissed him on the forehead.

"Goodnight, Logan."

* * *

 **A/N: So... was that good? Bad? TERRIBLE?! Whatever it was, I did my best. Okay? I really did! I spent about 6 hours writing and editing this! And most of it was in one sitting! So please review! I love hearing from you guys! It makes me happy! :)**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hello! I'm baaack! *cheers* Yay! I hope you enjoy another chapter filled with brotherly love.../Logan+Keegan being cute! Btw, sorry, there's a lot of Roach angst in this chapter.**

 **He keeps creeping into my ideas and I finally couldn't stand it anymore. But it's just for the first part of this huge chapter, so suck it up, my lovelies. ;)**

* * *

 **Luke P.O.V**

I smiled when I looked into the infirmary to see the Walker brothers sleeping together. That's so cute! Not to mention, they could both use the rest. I'm so relieved that they're all good again... I've felt so bad for Hesh this whole time. The entire situation sucked ass...

But now it's better, all because of Keegan. I could swear he's a miracle worker or something... I sighed and decided to check on Logan later. I didn't want to wake either of them up, plus they needed their own space after not seeing each other for nearly two months.

That reminds me, tomorrow I need to have a person visit him again. I would say two, but I believe Hesh is new enough to be considered one, so I'll see if I can just send one more in.

In all honesty, I'd prefer it to be Gary. I'm well aware that he doesn't want to go in there, most likely in fear of bringing up bad memories from the last time he was taken, but it'd be good for him. He needs to learn to face his problems.

I can't force him to go in there, but I _can_ try to convince him it'd be a good thing. He's been weird lately... He saw someone the other day in the rec room. Someone the rest of us didn't and that worries me. Plus, he looks like he hasn't slept in a few days.

I think the stress of this whole situation has finally gotten to him. It always does at some point, and that goes for everyone, not just Gary.

But it tends to have a considerably more significant affect on him, especially with his anxiety issues and PTSD. Maybe I could send him and Ghost away for a few days to chill out and get away from all the stress...

After getting a few days of peace, Gary might be more willing to go in and see Logan. I could just have one of the Ghosts go see him tomorrow instead. Yeah, that sounds good.

Happy with my plans, I headed for the rec room to talk to the others about it. When I got there, most of the 141 weren't in the room. I knew Archer and Toad were sleeping in their room. Maybe the two captains are practicing their aim at the shooting range...

I saw that Roach was sleeping, his head resting on Ghost's shoulder and Ghost was asleep as well, his hands wrapped protectively around his waist.

"Oh my god... that's adorable." I muttered with a grin, plopping into a chair beside the couch.

Kick laughed and said, "They've been like that for about an hour. I already got pictures."

He gave me a thumbs up and I laughed.

"You better be careful, he'll bite your finger off."

 _"Excuse_ you, I'm very careful!"

"Mhmm, sure. Well, you can't be careful enough around him. He's always got a plan."

"True, it kinda scares me sometimes." Keegan chuckled.

"Same! I wonder how it's possible for one human being to have a whole alphabet of backup plans memorized..." Merrick sighed, shaking his head.

"It's more like two or three alphabets. And you get used to it after a couple years." I shrugged.

"I suppose you would..."

"Oh! I almost forgot to tell you guys! I'm sending those two away for a few days." I announced, gesturing to the sleeping couple.

"Whyyyy?" Keegan whined.

"But they're funny! Logan's usually the funny one in our group and he's... not in here! You can't send away our only source of entertainment!" Kick complained.

Merrick stayed silent and Riley released a short bark, causing Roach to nearly jump off the couch. The only reason he didn't was because of Ghost's arms around his waist, and even that didn't stop him from pulling one of his throwing knives from his belt and searching the room with instantly alert eyes.

Everyone froze.

His eyes focused on the doorway, even though there was nothing there. I frowned, but decided not to ask him about it now. I knew he wouldn't discuss it in front of the others like this.

"Good Lord, Gary. It was just the dog barking, get some chill." I said casually, trying to ignore the fact that the knife between his fingers could be across the room in a second.

He didn't move, except for his eyes, which slowly followed something across the room. His face remained emotionless, the only sign that he was upset being the tears in his eyes, but I knew him well enough to know that whatever he was seeing was seriously freaking him out.

Ghost, now fully awake, _very_ carefully reached forward, making sure his movement was known, and pulled the knife from his grip.

Roach let him take it and finally seemed to realize that whatever, or rather, _whoever,_ he had been seeing wasn't actually there. He silently stood and left quickly, either forgetting or ignoring the fact that Ghost still had one of his knives.

I sighed and said, "That's why," before jumping up and running after him.

* * *

Roach ran down the hallway as fast as he could manage, desperately hoping he wasn't following him. _He_ being John. He has been seeing him more and more frequently lately.

For the past couple days, he's been so scared that John would show up that he couldn't sleep. He's so tired... He feels like he's going to die.

Everyone had seen the dark rings under his eyes, but they figured it was because he had been staying up late working with his contacts. Ghost had noticed him looking in places where nothing was there, but he had been hoping that he was just deep in thought and not hallucinating.

He bolted for the room he and Ghost shared, just wanting to be alone. He heard footsteps behind him and tears trailed down his cheeks. Couldn't John just fucking leave him alone?! He somehow ran even faster, finally reaching his room and yanking the door open quicker than he ever had.

He slammed it shut and locked it, then ran to the far corner of the room and slumped to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and crying. He couldn't believe that even in death, John continued to fuck with his life.

He had killed him not only to get revenge for Charlie, but so he wouldn't have to feel scared every single day anymore. Scared that John would show up and drag him back to the hell that was his childhood.

He didn't want to go back to that place. He'd go _anywhere_ before he let himself be taken back there, especially by a _dead_ man. He had thought he was getting better.

He hadn't seen John or Charlie in several months, so he had been happy. He felt like things were finally settled in that area of his life, and he could start a new section with Ghost and his friends. Then _BAM,_ Logan was captured and a month later, John showed up to terrorize him again.

Why did this always happen to _him?_ He always seemed to take one step forward and two steps back. He felt like nothing was worth trying anymore, not if he had completely wasted his time in killing John. In all honesty, because of this, he felt like John was still here. Still alive and pulling his life apart thread by thread.

A quiet knock on his door made him scream and jump so hard he hit his head on the wall behind him. He involuntarily made a sound similar to a dying elephant seal and his breathing rapidly sped up as he waited for John to walk in.

He had been fooled by that the other day. He had seen John and hurriedly locked himself in the kitchen, thinking he would be safe. Then of course, John walked right through the door and it was all he could do not to scream bloody murder and alert the others.

So instead, he simply launched kitchen knives at him until he disappeared. Luckily, no one had been close enough to hear the death of the wall. Shutting and locking the door didn't do a damn thing for keeping John out.

"Gary? I know you're in there... Please let me in. I just want to talk to you..." Luke's voice said from behind the door.

Everything was blurry because of the tears in his eyes. He sniffled and stared at the floor, idly wondering what the point of life was. He managed to calm down a bit, realising that it was just Luke at the door. But that didn't mean he was going to let him in...

He hadn't wanted Luke or any of the others to get involved, especially not Ghost. He already bothered them with his problems enough... their lives didn't need to be ruined too.

He thought about this whole situation and started crying again. He hated John. He hated feeling cornered, like there was no way out. This situation included both, because John kept showing up and he felt like there was no way for him to make it stop.

"Gary, _please_ open the door. I know you're upset... but I can help you. All you have to do is open the door."

No. He wouldn't do it. He didn't want Luke to come in here and talk to him about how 'everything's gonna be fine' because it won't. It never is. He had learned that years ago, although he had forgotten about it until now.

He tried to stay quiet as he cried, but it was nearly impossible with how upset he was. He was crying so much and his breathing was so irregular that after a few minutes, he started getting nauseas.

Luke kept trying to get him to open the door, but he wasn't going to. He vaguely heard the clinking of metal on metal as Luke tried to pick the lock. He wasn't very good at it though, and Roach knew it usually took him a while to get a door open, and that was only _if_ he succeeded.

That's when the nausea turned into something more than just nausea and he felt it coming. He scrambled to the bathroom on all fours, not having the time to get up, and retched into the toilet.

His throat burned as chunks of food and stomach acid poured into the toilet. After a couple minutes, he was finally done except for the dry heaving, but that didn't last long.

He spit a few mouthfuls of the foul tasting substance into the toilet and propped himself up against the tub, feeling well and truly drained. He heard the door open and instinctively reached for his knives.

But he moved his hand away when Luke walked in with a very worried expression on his face. He immediately walked over to him, flushing the toilet on his way by, and hugged him.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

He nodded slightly, despite his now sore throat and throbbing head. After a minute or so, Luke pulled back away from him and looked him in the eyes, tilting his chin up so he could see him properly.

"Are you _really_ okay?" He asked, wiping the remaining tears from his cheeks.

He sniffled and avoided his eyes, deciding to stare at the floor instead.

"J-John... he won't leave me alone." He choked out, unable to hold back the sob that forced its way from his mouth.

He sighed and pulled the younger man back into a hug.

"Shhh, it's okay. You need to remember that he's not real, and focus on that. He can't hurt you." He told him, rubbing calming circles into his back.

"I k-know but he... he looks s-so _real_ and-"

"You don't see him normally, right? You didn't see him before everything with Logan happened?"

He shook his head.

"I thought not. Listen to me." He ordered, waiting until Roach's eyes met his to start speaking.

"You're seeing him because you're so stressed out and haven't slept in a few days. He'll go away once you get some rest and stop stressing so much over everything that's happened. I know _not_ stressing is hard for you, because of your anxiety, which is why I think you and Ghost should take a break. Go away for a few days and chill out. Alright?"

He hesitated.

"Do y-you need-"

"No, we don't need you two to help out with anything around here."

"You... sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. We'll be fine! You two go enjoy yourselves, have sex or something."

Roach blushed furiously and hid his face in his hands, making Luke laugh.

"There is one rule, though, and it's very important."

He peeked at him between his fingers.

"You aren't allowed to work. That means no meeting with contacts, no doing research. In fact, you aren't allowed to bring your laptop, because I know that if you bring it you'll be tempted to work on something. Just relax and go have fun with your boyfriend, okay?"

He sniffled and said, "Okay..."

An hour later the couple had packed and left to find a hotel to hang out at for a few days.

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I started awake when I felt someone move next to me. My eyes snapped open to see Hesh sitting beside me on the bed, smiling down at me. Hehehe... Hesh is here...

"Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?" He asked, playing with my hair.

I grinned dopily and said, "Good... where's Keeg'n?"

"He's taking a nap in his room. Why do you ask?"

I giggled and blushed, hiding my face in my hands.

"C'mon, what is it?" Hesh laughed, tugging on my hand.

Keegan's just so cute... I miss him. His eyes widened into perfect circles and his mouth fell open. I wondered what was wrong with him until it occurred to me that I had said my thoughts aloud.

"You... y-you? You like Keegan?!" He asked incredulously.

"Uhhh... noooo..." I mumbled, sliding under my blankets to hide my red cheeks.

"Logan, get back up here! It's not a bad thing... actually I'm kind of relieved that you picked someone I'm friends with."

Hey... does he like Keegan too?! But he's mine! I popped up from the cover of my blankets to glare at him.

"Nooo! You're not allowed to like _him_! He's _miiine,_ get your own!" I whined, whacking him on the leg with my good hand.

He laughed and held his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, hey, chill out! I don't like him the same way you do, silly."

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously.

"... Are you suuure?"

"Yes," he chuckled, "I'm sure. He's all yours. Good luck with him."

A smile crept onto my face thinking about Keegan... he's so nice to me. I wish he would come see me though... I pouted. I flinched slightly when Hesh pinched my cheek.

"Why are you pouting, huh? I'm happy for you, don't be sad..."

"... I miss Keegan..."

"Awww! That's so cuuute! You _love_ him!" He teased, ruffling my hair.

"It's not cute..."

"Yes it is! My little brother finally likes someone! Although I didn't know you were gay..."

"Leave me alooone..." I whined, hiding under my blankets again.

"Do you want me to call him in here?" He asked curiously, pulling the blankets up to look at me.

I blushed as red as a fire truck and hurriedly shook my head.

"No no no..."

Hesh smirked and pointed at me excitedly.

"You _do!_ I knew it."

I blushed harder and hid my face in my hands. Ugh, he's so embarrassing... this is why I don't tell him anything. He's gonna tease me about this until I die.

"You should eat something, do you want me to go-"

"NO! Mine!" I yelled, latching onto his leg as he stood up.

He laughed and pulled my hands away, careful to avoid the IV line.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" He asked hesitantly.

I nodded. I don't want him to leave.

"Alright," he sighed, "but you're eating something at 11:00, whether you want to or not." He said sternly.

"Shush, purple donkey."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Purple... purple donkey?"

I nodded and yawned.

"Mhmmm..."

"Oh, I see." He grinned. "Lover boy's tired."

I snuggled up against my pillow and gave him a half hearted glare.

He pulled up the covers for me and said, "Take a nap, I'll be here when you wake up."

I tried to stay awake, because I didn't want to have to worry about whether he would be there when I woke up or not. But, as usual, the drowsiness that came hand in hand with medication dragged me under, and I fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: There you go! Was that good? Was there enough angst? Enough fluff? EMOTIONS?! Please tell me in a review! I'll see you guys next chapter! ^_^**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: *sneaks into room* Uhh... hi! I know I haven't been here in like a month. But I got really bad writers block and I couldn't get any inspiration to write.**

 **I have school every day too, and rehearsal after that. I also had some bad family issues... which still haven't gone away, but I have to update sometime, right?**

 **But luckily I have SpitfireUSN to give me ideas and inspiration! Without her, this chapter would not be here right now and I would still be stuck. Everyone go read and review on her stories because they're AWESOME! ...But make sure you read this chapter first, please!**

 **Lol, enjoy the Chapter!**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I woke up to low, murmuring voices and hands poking and prodding at me.

 _Who the fuck is that? ...What if it's Rorke? What if he came back and wants to take me away again?!_

As soon as the thoughts went through my mind, I gasped and scrambled away from them, snapping my eyes open and scanning the room for danger. For Rorke.

They told me he was gone. Dead. ...But that's what we thought last time too... then he appeared out of nowhere and dragged me down into hell. I felt my heart rate and breathing pick up at the thought of it.

How I had failed to escape multiple times. How Hesh hadn't been able to save me. The things Rorke did to me while I was stuck with him...

I jumped and yelped in alarm when I felt two cool, calloused hands cup my cheeks. A pair of beautiful- and very familiar- bright blue eyes met mine and I immediately knew who it was.

"Good morning, Logan."

All the tension left my body and I gave him a small smile. I know I'm safe, since he's here.

Then I had a realisation- Keegan's here... and his face is right in front of mine. My ability to speak in proper sentences just flew right out the window.

I felt my cheeks flush furiously at the observation, and with great difficulty, I tore my eyes away from his. The last thing I needed right now was a boner.

And there was no doubt in my mind that I would get one if I didn't stop thinking about how close our faces were. How close his perfectly shaped pink lips were to mine...

I unconsciously leaned forward bit by bit, until our faces were about half an inch apart. Keegan smiled and my heart fluttered, my stomach doing flip flops.

"Uhh... okay... I'll just go. Don't get in too much trouble, you guys..."

I faintly heard a pair of footsteps leave the room, a door closing behind them, but I didn't really care at the moment.

Then something completely unexpected happened. Keegan leaned forward until our lips touched, his fingers braiding themselves into my hair. It was nice- the feeling of his soft, warm lips against mine.

Then memories of Rorke... _touching_ me crashed into my thoughts, and Keegan disappeared. He was replaced with Rorke and I let out a terrified cry, scrambling back away from him as fast as I could manage.

The bullet wound in my shoulder screamed at me and I gasped, my other hand automatically shooting out to grab it as if that would help. My ribs felt like they had been set aflame because I had moved too fast, and I shrieked in pain.

"Logan, you need to lie down. You're going to hurt yourself..." He said, grabbing my shoulders and gently pushing me down.

I immediately recoiled, not wanting him to touch me. I was shaking and I could feel warm tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Just leave m-me alone..." I whimpered, flinching away from him when he reached for me.

I failed to notice the uncharacteristically concerned look on his face. The huge amount of worry in his eyes.

My heart was thudding loudly in my chest and it was hard to breathe. The only clear thought I could form was, _Rorke's back. He's going to take me away. He's going to hurt me._

I didn't notice him leave the room, but by the time he returned, darkness was eating at the edges of my vision. My chest felt tight, as if the air was being squeezed from my lungs every time I tried to pull oxygen into them.

I felt sick from both my rapid breathing and the fact that I knew Rorke was here. _Here,_ where everyone kept telling me I was safe. Everyone's a liar.

I cried harder when I felt hands pulling at my arm. I damn near jumped off the bed when I felt my IV line move. I laid perfectly still and, after a few moments, I heard the familiar _thunk_ of an empty syringe falling into the sharps disposal bin.

 _I_ _think someone just drugged me..._ _It has to be Rorke_.

"G-go away..." I cried, curling in on myself when I felt the bed shift, telling me that Rorke had sat down.

"Easy, easy, you're okay. It's just me, Luke. Please don't cry... No one's going to hurt you, Logan, I promise."

I warily opened my eyes and glanced around the room with blurry vision. Rorke was nowhere to be seen... I looked to my left to see Luke sitting there smiling at me.

I stared at him for a couple minutes, nervously waiting for him to turn into Rorke and drag me away. But he never did. By the time five minutes passed, I was pretty sure he wasn't going to...

"Are you done making sure I'm me yet?" He asked, smiling softly as he raised a hand to my face.

I flinched slightly, closing my eyes and bracing myself for the pain that I knew was coming. But again, it never came. Instead, he gently wiped my tears away and ruffled my hair.

"I'm not going to hurt you, silly. Now come on, lay down. You shouldn't be sitting up yet, because of... well, a lot of things."

For the first time since he started talking to me, I noticed how much calmer I felt. My breathing had gradually slowed down to a normal pace, and my body was relaxing without me making any conscious effort. I wasn't shaking nearly as hard as I had been.

I yawned and I vaguely felt Luke lay me down, pulling the covers up around me as my eyes began to droop.

 _Damned drugs... ugh... I'm so tired. It's not fair. I just woke up a while ago..._

I tried to keep my eyes open, but my eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds. It was _impossible_ _!_ Not to mention incredibly annoying...

Luke laughed slightly and said, "Get some rest, Logan. I'll be back to check on you later."

I wanted to yell at him, saying, _I just woke up like 15 minutes ago! I've been getting nothing_ but _rest!_

But by the time he left the room, I was already asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Yep... Keegan totally kissed Logan. But for a very short amount of time because FLASHBACKS happened! Don't ask me why I capitalized FLASHBACKS! It's just so much more exciting when it's capitalized.**

 **But yea, this chapter... I don't know what it was. I feel like it's OKAY but like... awful at the same time...**

 **Please review and tell me your thoughts! I need some opinions! :P**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hi! I'm really sorry for the insanely long wait, but I kinda just lost all inspiration to write this story. But my best friend has been in the hospital for the past month and my life has been insanely stressful. Therefore, I** ** _do_** **have a valid reason for not updating! But again, I'm sorry!**

 **WARNING: Suicidal thoughts and _(very,_ for my stories) slight gore! **

**BTW: Yes, I did change the name of this story (originally Ghosts Don't Break) to Shattered! Do NOT freak out! I changed it because I figured the name Shattered made more sense considering the way the story's going... so yeah...**

 **Here's chapter 28! Hope you guys enjoy it! :3**

* * *

 _I woke up in a small, dark room- alone. Or so I thought... There was no door, no windows. In other words- no exits. No way out. My heart pounded in my chest and I swallowed nervously._

 _"H-hello? Is anybody here?" I called, my voice echoing strangely as it bounced off the disturbingly close walls._

 _I jumped in alarm when I received an unexpected answer._

 _"Yes, but I'd rather not be. You're a waste of time." Keegan's voice sighed._

 _I could only hear him. He was nowhere in sight. His voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It was so damn confusing. But my biggest concern was what he had said. I was a waste of time? Why would he say that? I thought he cared about me._

 _"No, that's wrong. I never cared about you, kid. In fact, you've always annoyed me- the way you screw everything up. It drives me insane."_

 _Tears gathered in my eyes as my heart rate sped up._

 _I choked out, "...W-what do you mean?"_

 _He laughed bitterly and replied, "Well, for one, you're stupid. Everyone always has to waste time spelling things out for you. You're weak. You were only with Rorke for one fucking month, and you came back shattered."_

 _I was too busy crying to reply._

 _He continued, "Seriously, what kind of Ghost are you? Since you broke like goddamn Humpty Dumpty, the rest of us were left to pick up the pieces and try to put you back together again. ...But what if you aren't worth fixing, Logan? Did you ever think about that?"_

"Logan! C'mon, Logan, wake up!" A voice in the distance cried.

 _I couldn't breathe. Keegan- the one person (other than Hesh) that I had trusted enough to open up to- had just said I wasn't worth fixing. That I was weak, stupid, and a waste of time. I thought he cared about me! I don't understand. Why would he do this? What did I do wrong?!_

"Damn it, Logan, wake up!"

 _Suddenly I could hear Hesh's voice as well._

 _"You're right, Keegan. The team is better off without him around. He's always screwing things up for us..." He hissed, and even though I couldn't see him, I could feel his hatred burning right through my soul._

 _In that moment, all I wanted to do was die. To melt into the floor and disappear forever._

 _But that didn't happen. Nothing ever happened when I wanted it to._

 _Instead of ceasing to exist, I woke up._

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

I gasped and bolted upright, my eyes jumping around the room in search of danger. Black dots crept up in my vision as sharp pain exploded in my ribs. I could _feel_ the broken ones shifting, scraping painfully against the others and making me want to scream.

I settled for clutching at my sides and making noises that even a dying animal probably couldn't manage. My face was wet with tears. I couldn't breathe.

"Hey, hey, easy. You're okay, it wasn't real." A soothing voice said from beside me.

I hadn't even noticed that Hesh was here. I flinched when he moved, scooting as far away from him as I could get without falling off the bed. His concerned expression blurred as more tears filled my eyes.

I could still hear the hatred that filled Keegan's voice as all the awful things he said about me replayed over and over again in my head.

"Logan... I'm not gonna hurt you. You don't need to be scared." Hesh said quietly, and I felt the bed shift as he moved closer.

That was all it took.

I leapt from the bed, yanking out my IV and bolting for the door. The room tilted sideways when I jumped up and it was extremely disorienting, but I did my best to avoid puking all over the floor.

"Logan, no!"

All the stitches in my legs (from the glass shards) pulled as I ran, and I think a few sets tore. But I was too busy trying to reach the door without puking first to pay them any mind.

...That changed when the stab wound in my thigh began sending shooting pains through my leg. The door was so far away, and I could hear Hesh growing closer behind me.

Keegan's voice in my head gradually began to get louder and I choked on a scream. It was maddening. I couldn't stand hearing those hateful words and degrading insults from Keegan. I could deal with it all, coming from _anyone_ else. Maybe even Hesh.

But not Keegan.

Tears poured from my eyes.

My legs were throbbing with a sharp, burning pain that got worse with each step I took.

My head was about to explode.

My ribs were on fire.

Finally my legs buckled, ultimately refusing to carry me any farther. The door was still several feet away. I wouldn't be able to reach it unless I crawled, but even then I wouldn't make it before Hesh got to me.

I scrambled back behind a hospital bed in the corner and pulled my legs as close to my body as I could get them without causing myself more pain. I hid my face in my hands and sobbed.

I just didn't understand. There was too much going on all at once. I couldn't distinguish between fantasy and reality anymore. I had experienced too many flashbacks, too many nightmares, too many _dreams_ to set the two apart any longer.

I vaguely heard Hesh talking to me, trying to calm me down. I wanted to listen to him, to stop crying and let him help me back to bed. But I was just so tired.

Tired of being completely terrified when someone moved too fast. Tired of sitting in this awful hospital room and waiting for the day I'd be released. Tired of the nightmares, the flashbacks, the panic attacks.

What was the point of my life now? Now that I freaked out over every little thing? What could I possibly contribute to the team? I can't fight, I can't track people down, I can't even _run_ right now.

I'm a waste of oxygen.

I'm so weak and pitiful that everyone probably wants to forget about me and move on with their lives.

 _And why shouldn't they? They deserve better... Keegan deserves better._

 _I should just kill myself... Then nobody would have to deal with me. Keegan would find someone better- someone he truly deserves. Hesh would be upset, but he'd get over it after a while. In fact, he should be relieved that he won't have to deal with me anymore. I'm such a burden to everyone that ending my life would help the team..._

It was incredibly ironic that the only way I could contribute to the team was by ending my life.

I hadn't noticed that Hesh had gone to get help. I didn't even notice when the door opened and someone else entered the room.

"Logan..." A voice nearby said.

The voice belonged to Keegan.

I flinched so hard I almost hit my head against the concrete wall I was leaning against. I pressed myself back against it as much as possible, wishing I could just melt into it and cease to exist.

"N-no... leave me alone..." I cried as more tears fell from my eyes.

He had my _one_ escape route completely cut off- but then again it's not like I was dumb enough to think I had any chance of getting past him in the first place. He held his hands out in front of him, clearly displaying that there was nothing in them.

That didn't make me feel any safer. Nothing made me feel safe anymore.

"Please don't cry, Logan. I'm just here to help you..." He said quietly.

I rapidly shook my head, effectively making the room spin. He couldn't help with this. Besides, why did he say those terrible things to me if he wanted to help me? Did he actually say them or am I just crazy? Is this real or a dream?

Fantasy or reality?

Everything was so confusing. I didn't know what to do, which made it all the more stressful. I wanted so badly to let him hold me, to hug me and comfort me until everything was okay.

But if he had really said those things, why should I? Why should I trust him enough to let him get near me?

I sniffled and looked up at him with tear-blurred vision. He was a lot closer than before, only a few feet away now. I hated being cornered. I hated it so much I wanted to scream simply because there was nothing I could do about it.

He took a step closer and I started crying again, choking on sobs as I pressed myself impossibly closer to the wall. I couldn't breathe. I was shaking so hard it hurt. The room seemed to be closing in on me.

It wouldn't stop.

"Logan, don't cry... Whatever you saw, it wasn't real. I promise. I know it's hard for you to tell the difference between what's real and what's not right now, but I need you to trust me." He said, and I felt him sit down beside me.

 _Is he being honest?_ ... _Was it all really just a nightmare?_

I tried to talk to him, to ask if he was mad at me or if he hated me for being so pitiful, but there wasn't enough oxygen in my lungs to get the words out.

"Shhh, Logan, just breathe and try to relax. You're okay..." He murmured, pulling me close to him and resting his head on top of mine.

I instantly stiffened- still suspicious that he was lying and actually hated my guts. But after a few minutes of him rubbing my back and whispering quiet reassurances in my ear, I discarded the thought.

No one who hated me as much as he had in my dream would be so gentle with me, holding me as if I were a glass statue and doing whatever was necessary to make me feel safe.

The latter was useless, though. No matter what anyone did, I was sure I'd _never_ feel safe again.

The room no longer seemed to be closing in on me. It was easier to breathe now, and after a while I even managed to stop crying. I'm not sure how long we sat there together, but I know he would have sat there with me all night if I needed him to.

I sniffled and looked blearily up at him. I was exhausted. I just wanted to go to sleep, but at the same time, I was scared.

 _Really_ scared.

What if I had another nightmare? What if Rorke showed up in it this time, instead of Keegan? What if he touched me? What if he _hurt_ me and this time no one showed up to stop him-

My thoughts were (thankfully) interrupted when I suddenly became aware of a fiery pain running throughout my legs. A whine slipped through my teeth, and I shifted, attempting to get a look at the damage.

I just barely caught a glimpse of several open wounds and what looked like quite a bit of blood before Keegan turned my head back to face him. I felt incredibly nauseous. I definitely tore some stitches...

 _Well shit._

"I know it looks bad, but it's not. Don't even worry about it, I'll just fix them later." He said, running a hand through my hair.

I was too busy mentally scolding myself to reply.

 _Why do I have to be so stupid? I had a huge ass panic attack, ran across the med bay- tearing several sets of stitches in my legs and delaying my recovery in the process- and cried like a fucking baby. All because I had a nightmare about being stuck in a tiny dark room while Keegan yelled insults at me. How could I have thought he ever would have said those things to me in real life?_

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized- it wasn't so much _what_ he said that bothered me. It was the fact that someday, what he said might come true. Someday, he might just get fed up with my nightmares, my panic attacks, my flashbacks- he might get fed up with _me._

He might hate me.

Someday he's gonna realize that he deserves someone better. And I'll be dreading that day until it comes- and I _know_ it will. Nothing- no _one-_ as good as Keegan lasts long.

Good things just don't happen to me.

I let out a shaky sigh and slumped against Keegan. I felt drained- mentally, emotionally, and physically. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. Then maybe Keegan wouldn't have to deal with my sorry ass...

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled, staring at the floor.

He looked down at me and asked, "What are you sorry for?"

"...For being s-such a bother..."

He sighed and even though I couldn't see his face, I could tell my words had disturbed him.

"You're not a bother, Logan. You just need some time to get better- and you will. Just know that no matter how long it takes, I'll always be here for you. If you ever need anything, I'll be right here." He said, hesitating a bit before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

Luckily, I didn't freak out this time. I distinctly remembered that when Rorke kissed me, it had always been rough and dominating. Painful, too, the majority of the time. He had liked to bite me.

But this- this was sweet and gentle. In that moment, I felt more loved than I ever had. He probably couldn't see it, because the room was so dark, but I blushed like a tomato.

Yes, believe it or not, I was shy.

I looked up at him with a timid smile and he grinned.

 _Oh my God... He's so perfect. I swear, I would look like a moldy potato if I stood next to him..._

"You good?" He asked quietly, looking directly into my eyes.

I simply nodded in reply, turning my gaze to the floor. I still felt like a dumbass- even though at the moment I was a content one.

...But I was also a tired one, which was an issue. I yawned and cautiously snuggled into Keegan's chest. He chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair, over and over again in the same fluid motion.

It was oddly soothing, and after a few minutes I drifted into the land of sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, yeah, I KNOW it's not the best chapter. It's a pretty long one though, so I hope that makes you guys at least a BIT happier... Please leave me some reviews! Advice/suggestions on what to do next would be lovely... And please tell me what you thought of this chapter! I've been working on it for months and I'm curious to know if it's any good... :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Hi guys! After many centuries, with the help of SpitfireUSN, I have regained my inspiration! Yay! There'll probably be a huge time skip in chapter 30 (sorry) because Logan will be recovering which isn't very exciting. Lol, it would mostly just be him laying in bed and whining anyways.**

 **ON WITH CHAPTER TWENTY NINE!**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

When I woke up the next morning, Keegan was laying in bed next to me. He was still asleep, his pink lips parted slightly to emit soft snores. The sight was so cute that I just had to smile.

I glanced around the room, and everything looked the same as any other day. My legs ached a bit more than usual, but that was to be expected considering that I had torn my stitches last night. Keegan and Luke probably sewed me back up after I fell asleep...

I sighed and looked at Keegan again, jumping when I realized his eyes were open and he was staring at me.

"Oh shit... You scared me..." I muttered.

He yawned and smiled, saying, "Good morning to you too, sweetie."

I blushed and my eyes slid to the floor.

 _He called me sweetie..._

When I recovered, I looked up at him and said, "...Hey, Keeg'n?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are we... are we dating?"

There was a pause.

"...Well, I would like to, but I totally understand if you don't-"

I interrupted him by leaning forward and giving him a peck on the lips.

He seemed shocked for a moment, then he smiled and said, "I'll take that as a yes."

I blushed even harder than before and hid my face in my hands.

"Awww," Keegan laughed, "You're shy. That's so cute!"

"Shut up..." I mumbled.

He grinned and said, "I love you."

I groaned and blushed even harder, choosing to hide under the blankets this time. He laughed and hugged me just as I heard the door swing open. I wiggled out of his arms and poked my head up from the blankets to see Luke standing there with a big smile on his face.

"Did I miss something this morning...?" He grinned, pointing between the two of us with his pen.

My blush returned full force and I hid under the blankets again.

"Nope," Keegan laughed, "you didn't miss a thing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Did you need something...?"

Luke seemed reluctant to drop the subject, but he said, "I came in to check on Logan, although since you're already here, you could do it and update me later. I just need you to check over his more major injuries and make sure there's no sign of infection... You should also clean them, while you're at it. Logan, come up here for a minute."

I was about to, then I had second thoughts. Luke still made me kind of nervous, even though he was around a lot...

"It's okay, Logan. He won't hurt you..." Keegan said, lifting up the blankets to smile encouragingly at me.

 _I guess as long as Keegan's here I'll be okay..._

I shifted and sat up, careful not to agitate my ribs too much as I did so, then nervously faced Luke.

He smiled and said, "There's my favorite patient! Alright, I have a few things to tell you, so just listen. Last night after you went to sleep, I removed the stitches in your cheek. And it looks really good today! I wouldn't touch it if I were you, though. It's gonna be a bit sore for a few days."

I resisted the urge to touch it and nodded.

"Anyways, today I believe the stitches in your chest need to be taken out. What do you think, Keegan?" He asked, glancing at him.

Keegan turned to look at me, and that's when I realized I was shirtless. I gasped and covered up my chest with my hands, blushing madly.

Keegan burst out laughing and said, "There's nothing there to cover up, silly."

I could tell Luke was trying hard not to laugh.

"Oh my god, Logan, your face is so red. A-are you okay?" He choked out, coughing to stop himself from laughing.

"...Shut up..." I grumbled.

"Here, let me see." Keegan said, gently pulling my hands away.

He examined the neat row of stitches that went down my chest.

After a moment, he nodded and said, "Yeah, those need to be removed. You want to do it now or later on?"

"Now would probably be best, considering that he's up and aware. I bet he wants you to do it though, huh, Logan?"

I nodded shyly. I would much rather have Keegan do it, if only because I was more used to him.

"Alright, that's fine! I'll see you later, Logan! And Keegan, make sure you two eat something after you're done. Byeee~" He said happily, smiling and waving as he left the room.

I watched him intently until he was gone.

"He really is nice, you know. You don't need to be scared of him- or any of us, for that matter." Keegan said, climbing out of bed and moving over to the medicine cabinet.

I felt bad, being scared of them all when I didn't need to be. But it was hard for me to trust people. I wanted to trust them, I really did, but I couldn't help being scared. It was instinctive now.

"I know... I can't help it..." I said quietly.

"Oh, I know you can't, dear. I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying." He smiled, pulling a pair of scissors and tweezers from a drawer.

I nodded and stared at the floor while he gathered everything else he needed, washed his hands, and put on a pair of gloves. By the time he sat down beside me, my stomach was in knots. It had really only been a couple minutes, but I was nervous, so it felt like a million years.

"Why do you look so nervous?" He chuckled, dousing a cotton ball in peroxide.

"I haven't had stitches removed in a while... I forgot what it feels like." I admitted, laughing nervously.

"Oh, I see. Well it's like... a pulling sensation- it doesn't really hurt, but it feels weird." He explained, gently cleaning the suture site and around it.

That stung a bit, but it wasn't all that bad. I nodded and stared up at the ceiling, trying to relax.

"I'm gonna start removing the sutures now, alright?"

I couldn't help but stiffen as I watched him grab the scissors. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but doubt always seemed to penetrate my mind and terrify me with the possibilities. I watched his hands intently as he snipped the thread and pulled it out with the tweezers. That felt weird... but at least it didn't hurt like I had expected it to.

We sat in silence as he worked. After about a minute, he paused and looked down at me.

"Breathe, Logan. I'm almost done." He said, patting my hand.

I jumped. I had been so focused on sitting as still as possible that I hadn't noticed him move.

"Hmm? What is it?" I asked.

"I said I'm almost done. Just 5 more..."

He finished up quickly, his practiced hands working with the speed of someone who's done this thousands of times- and he probably has.

"Okay, just let me clean it again, then we'll be done and you can have some food. I'll just clean your other wounds later."

He was (finally) done after another minute or so. I sighed in relief and slumped back against the pillows.

"You're so cute." Keegan grinned as he washed his hands.

I turned my head to look at him and replied, "Not when I stand next to you."

"Nope, you're always cute."

Before I could argue, he walked over to me and kissed me on the head. My blush returned again and I huffed, not even bothering to try and hide it this time.

"Must you make me blush all the time?" I whined... but that doesn't mean I wanted him to stop.

He laughed and said, "Yes, because it's adorable. Now, what do you want to eat?"

I shrugged.

"...You're not hungry, are you?" He sighed.

"No, not really... Are you mad at me?" I asked fearfully.

"Of course not! I could never be mad at you with that cute face of yours." He smiled, ruffling my hair.

I gave him a small smile and kissed his hand.

"...But I'd be very happy if you ate something."

I groaned and said, "But I'm not hungry."

"Yes you are. You're just scared to eat and you don't want to bother me by asking me to get food for you." He said, sitting beside me in bed.

I sighed and looked at the floor, refusing to meet his eyes. He was right, I didn't want to bother him and I was scared to eat. But I also didn't want him to leave. When he's around, I feel safe and content, but when he leaves my sight... I'm scared. It's almost like having the ground ripped out from under me and just falling... falling... falling through space until he finally returns.

I jumped when he gently took my chin and turned my head toward him, kissing my on the forehead.

"Look at me, Logan. I love you. I'm happy to do anything for you, alright? Whatever you need, just ask. I promise you aren't bothering me. You could never bother me." He said sincerely, pulling me into a warm hug.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around him and timidly kissing him on the cheek.

"Okay... I guess I could have some soup." I relented.

He cupped my cheeks with his hands and said, "Thank you. I'll be back in a few minutes!"

He went to stand up and I grabbed his arm.

"Noooo... don't leave me." I whined, pulling him back toward myself.

"I'm sorry, but I have to. You need-"

The door opened and a smiling Hesh walked in.

"I'll get it, Keegan." He grinned.

I kind of just looked at him with huge eyes. Keegan sighed and shook his head, almost as if he were expecting something like this to happen.

"...How long were you listening?" I asked warily.

"Long enough to know that you two are together and it's adorable! Luke told us this would happen! How does he know these things?!" He asked, his eyes wide in amazement.

"Hesh." Keegan sighed.

"Huh? What?"

"Soup."

He gasped. "OH! Yeah, sorry, I'll get it..."

I was blushing so hard I thought I was going to melt.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, there's chapter 29! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Again, I'm sorry for the long wait. But I'll try to update this story more often, now that I've gotten back into it. Please leave me some reviews and tell me what you thought! :D**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Hey guys! We've finally reached chapter 30! Woooo! And in roughly three months I will have been working on this story for a year! I might have this finished by then, but who knows? :P**

 **Enjoy chapter 30!**

* * *

 **A Month Later...**

 **Logan P.O.V**

I sighed as I stared up at the ceiling of the room Keegan and I shared. I had been laying there for hours, but no matter how hard I tried to sleep, I just couldn't.

I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened... or rather, _almost_ happened in that crappy motel right before I was rescued. The image of Rorke on top of me, the feeling of his teeth biting into my neck as he marked me were burned into my mind.

I shuddered and climbed out of bed, unable to lie down any longer. I needed to move. I needed to focus on something else... I glanced at Keegan's sleeping face as I turned.

He looked so peaceful.

Why couldn't I have any peace in my life? Even if I just had some while I was asleep, it'd be nice... Night terrors aren't exactly my definition of fun.

I felt bad for burdening Keegan with my problems- especially because there are so damn _many_ of them. I tried to stay strong, if only so I wouldn't bother the others with my issues, but Keegan always saw right through it. Most of the time I ended up discussing it with him, because he was stubborn and persistent enough to press for answers.

He wasn't mean, though, if that's what you're picturing. No, he was very understanding- and a great listener once he got me to talk.

But I hadn't been talking to him much lately.

Different things bothered me at certain times. For example, one day I might have flashbacks about being in the Pit, and for the next few days that would bug me. Sometimes several things bothered me at once, but once I discussed them with Keegan, I usually felt better.

But this issue... the one that has to do with Rorke... _touching_ me? It's been bothering me from the moment it happened. But I couldn't. I _couldn't_ talk about it because I knew that talking wasn't going to help with this particular problem.

No matter what I did, no matter how many showers I took, I still felt dirty. I felt his hands on me all the time... and I hated myself for it. I didn't understand why I couldn't move on, and each day it got worse.

I could feel the pressure building up inside me, as if I were a clogged pipe. I didn't know what to do. And I was absolutely terrified of telling Keegan. He wouldn't look at me the same way if I told him about that.

I was aware that he already knew about what had happened, but sitting down and describing it to him is different. I didn't even want to think about it, much less discuss exactly what happened and how I felt about it.

I sighed again and limped out into the hallway, leaving the door cracked open behind me. Even though my leg injuries (the stab wound in my thigh and the glass shard wounds) had healed up and left scars behind, I still had a slight limp. Luke and Keegan agreed that I'd probably have it for a long time, if not the rest of my life.

It didn't really bug me. Sure it was annoying at times, but I was glad to be able to walk at all after everything I had gone through.

I leaned back against the wall and slid down onto the floor, sitting with my legs crossed and my head in my hands.

I sat there for a long time, just thinking things over. I didn't even notice that it was nearly 5:00am until Keegan walked out of our room.

He sighed and sat down beside me, saying, "What are you doing up, Logan? It's almost five in the morning and you need rest."

"I couldn't sleep." I mumbled out.

"Why not? Something on your mind?"

"...No, it... it's nothing."

"You wouldn't be sitting out here if it was nothing." He said gently.

I sighed and stared down at the floor for a few moments.

"...You don't need to worry about it." I finally replied.

"If it's bothering you, I do. What's wrong?"

 _I can't tell him. I can't talk about this. Everything- anything else was okay to discuss, but this? No, he couldn't fix this. And he shouldn't have to. It's not his problem to fix._

"Look at me, Logan." He said, taking my chin and turning my head to face him. "No matter what's bothering you, I'm here, and I'll do anything I can to help. But I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong..."

My eyes slid to the floor and I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. I couldn't talk about this. I already felt so disgusting and sick and _gross_ that the idea of talking about it was almost threatening.

Keegan wouldn't like me anymore if I told him the specifics of what happened that night in the motel. I could already imagine the revolted look on his face.

He was the only thing that kept me going.

The only reason I didn't kill myself a month ago.

If I lost him, I don't know what the hell I would do. So telling him is a risk I'm not willing to take.

"-ogan? Hey, you in there?" Keegan asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

I jumped slightly and looked at him, saying, "Huh? W-what is it?"

He sighed and said, "You're so tired that you're zoning out on me. C'mon, time for bed. We'll talk more in the morning, but right now you need sleep."

My stomach twisted into knots at the thought of it, but I let him pull me up and lead me back to bed. We laid down and when he wrapped his arms around me, I had to keep telling myself- _y_ _ou're fine, it's just Keegan. Everything's okay._

"You alright, Logan?" He asked, clearly still concerned.

"Yeah, Keegs... I'm fine." I sighed, turning and kissing him on the cheek before snuggling into his chest.

He hummed in reply as he threaded his fingers through my hair. He usually only hummed in conversation when he was thinking about something. That didn't ease my anxiety about what we would be discussing tomorrow... or later today. Whatever.

After several minutes of laying there, neither of us were able to fall asleep. I was so worried that I couldn't relax enough to sleep, and Keegan was still thinking. I could tell he wasn't asleep.

...And apparently he knew I was still awake as well.

"Go to sleep." He murmured, kissing me on the head.

"Can't."

There was a beat of silence before he hesitantly asked, "...Do you want something to help you sleep?"

I shook my head.

"No... I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? If it's 5:40 in the morning and you still can't sleep, maybe you need-"

"No, Keegan. I'm fine. Goodnight." I said shortly, turning away from him and closing my eyes.

"...Night." He sighed.

* * *

I woke up a bit less than an hour later, shaking all over and scared shitless.

That happened every once in a while. I didn't even have to have a nightmare to wake up terrified. Sometimes all it took was one scary thought- a memory- before I fell asleep.

My eyes jumped around the room as I slowly sat up. Everything was normal. Nothing was out of place and no one was trying to hurt me.

 _You're fine. You're fine. You're fine..._

I glanced at Keegan as I attempted to steady my breathing- which was no easy task, by the way. He was still asleep, his chest rising and falling as he took in deep, even breaths.

I was glad I hadn't woken him up. He needs his rest, and I could deal with this on my own anyways.

I'm fine.

...But I needed to get out of this room. I felt cooped up- trapped, even- despite the door being cracked open.

I needed some air.

I slid out of bed- careful not to disturb Keegan- and grabbed my favorite hoodie, pulling it on as I left the room. I was far too shy to roam the halls shirtless. If I did, everyone would see my scars...

I let out a shaky sigh as I hurried down the corridor leading to the mess hall. My hands were still shaking by the time I sat down at the farthest table from the door- my favorite spot in the room.

I liked it because I could clearly see when anyone entered the room. I hated having a door to my back- no matter where I was- so this was the best spot in the room for me.

I slumped forward on the table, folding my arms and resting my chin on them. I just sat there for a while, staring off into space and trying not to think about all my problems. Trying not to think of the pressure I felt building in my chest more and more each day. Trying not to think about how tired... how _incredibly_ tired I was of everything.

I ended up falling asleep there after a while.

* * *

"Where is Logan? Has anyone seen him?" Keegan asked as he ran into the rec room.

He had woken up about ten minutes ago and freaked out when he realized that Logan wasn't still in bed with him. Usually, Logan slept in until around 7:45, but Keegan had woken up at 7:00 to an empty bed. That was unusual- especially considering that Logan had hardly gotten any sleep last night. So then he had gotten dressed, went to the bathroom, and searched the areas closest to his room.

Logan was nowhere to be found.

"Oh, yeah, Luke found him sleeping in the mess hall earlier." Merrick replied.

"If he's not in there, he'll probably be in the med bay." Toad said, threading his fingers through a sleeping Archer's hair.

Keegan's worry skyrocketed as a million reasons why Logan might be in the med bay raced through his mind- none of which were pretty.

"Why would he be in the med bay? Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine. But Luke might've moved him to one of the beds in there, so he'd be more comfortable. You know how he is. Always worrying over everyone."

"Mmmm... that makes sense. Thanks."

He rushed to the mess hall and checked there. It was empty, excluding Ghost, Roach, Price, and MacTavish- all of whom were eating breakfast. He went to the med bay, but was stopped by Luke on his way through the door.

"Hey, Keegan, I was wondering when you'd come looking for him. C'mon, let's talk out here. I don't want to risk waking him up." He said, taking Keegan by the arm and leading him a few feet away from the door.

He caught a glimpse of Logan sleeping in a hospital bed as they walked. He looked fine, all except for the dark circles carved into place under his eyes.

"Is he okay?" He asked as he leaned against the wall.

"Logan? He's alright, just a little sleep deprived..."

The younger man seemed to hesitate at the next part.

"But?" Keegan prompted.

"...But I don't think he's doing well mentally. Earlier when I found him in the mess hall and I tried to wake him up, he almost punched me."

He sighed and said, "Sorry... you probably just scared him."

"No, no, it's fine, but I'm just worried for him. He hasn't been this skittish in weeks. It almost looks like he's relapsing, in a way."

"...How would he do that? I thought he was getting better?" Keegan asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes, he was. But I get the feeling that he's got something on his mind and he's so worried that he's losing sleep. Loss of sleep can cause hallucinations, moodiness, depression, and several other things that can lead to serious setbacks in his mental recovery. Has he said anything to you...?"

"No, but last night he couldn't sleep at all. He's definitely been worried about something for a while now, and every day it seems to bother him more and more. But he won't talk to me about it."

Luke nodded and said, "Okay, well I'll talk to the others, see if anyone has any ideas. You can go sit with him, if you like, but he won't be up for a few hours."

"Alright, thanks, Luke."

"No problem. I'll be in the rec room, so call me if you need anything!"

Keegan nodded and went into the med bay, trudging over to sit by Logan's bed. He took the younger man's hand in his own and sighed as he gently brushed his bangs away from his closed eyes.

"Oh, Logan... what am I gonna do with you?"

* * *

 **A/N: Wow, that took a while! Omg everyone's so worried! And poor Logan baby :'( He's so stressed.**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading! I'll try to update again soon, but my end of the year testing is coming up fast, so the next update might take a while to get here! Please leave me some reviews! They are greatly appreciated! :D**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Hi! I'm back! Yaaaaay! Big thank you to Dumbledore19 for the sweet reviews! They made me smile and got me motivated to work on this chapter. :D**

 **WARNING: Logan has a pretty graphic nightmare about Rorke molesting him is this chapter, and it is very VERY angsty and sad, so beware.**

* * *

 **Logan P.O.V**

 _I could feel them. Hands, roaming over my body. I couldn't move. There was no way to escape them as they snaked up my torso, dancing over my ribs and moving to wrap around my neck. Then a pair of familiar, yet unwelcome lips pressed against mine. My stomach lurched sickeningly and I tried desperately to move, to shove him off of me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move. I was helpless. There was nothing I could do to stop Rorke from touching me. There was never anything I could do. In everything he did, he went out of his way to drive home the point that I was absolutely helpless._

 _I hated it._

 _I had always been a control freak. A perfectionist. I wanted everything under my control and organized and flawless at all times. And nothing terrified me more than having that control- my own perfect little world- ripped away from me. Rorke knew that, and he used it against me. Every. Damn. Day._

"Logan, baby, wake up. It's just a dr-" A voice in the distance said.

 _A muffled whine escaped my lips when his hand slid down my bare thigh. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick and scream and thrash until he either gave up or knocked me out. At least then I'd know I did everything I could to prevent this. But all I could do was silently watch as Rorke did whatever he pleased._

 _Tears flowed down my face in a steady stream as he began to remove his clothes. My lungs refused to work. I couldn't breathe. Panic filled my mind to the brim and made it impossible to think clearly._

"You're okay, it's just a dream. Don't cry..."

 _Rorke smirked at the terrified look on my face as he climbed back onto the bed. I tried to scream, but I didn't have a voice. Even if I did, there was no oxygen in my lungs to be used. His grin widened as he straddled my hips and leaned down to kiss me again._

Then everything went black, and I woke up with a scream.

My eyes snapped open and I sat bolt upright, nearly head-butting the person looking down at me. The room was pitch black. I couldn't see who it was, so I automatically assumed that it was Rorke. Somehow, he had found me. He had come to take me back. I had known it was only a matter of time... Memories of what I went through when he captured me played through my mind like one long, horrifying movie. I could feel the pain I had felt then, even though I was all healed up now. I couldn't go through that again. I wouldn't.

"...Logan? Hey-"

He reached for my face and I acted instinctively, grabbing his arm and yanking him forward to get him off balance. Then I used my legs to throw him over myself, sending him straight to the hard tile floor. I didn't stick around to watch. I leapt from the bed and bolted for the door as fast as my legs could carry me.

"No, Logan! Come back!" He yelled, and I heard him scramble to his feet.

Just when I had reached the door, it opened and I nearly ran right into it.

Luke walked in and frowned at me, saying, "Logan? You don't look so good. What's-"

I heard the footsteps behind me growing closer by the second.

"Luke! Grab him!"

I panicked and shoved past the older man, then sprinted down the hallway. I didn't notice where I was going, and I didn't care, as long as it was away from Rorke. At first I could hear them chasing me, calling for me to come back. I tuned them out and after a while, I couldn't hear them anymore. I was frantically trying to find a place to hide. I was exhausted and scared and so incredibly stressed that I couldn't think straight. Eventually I just leaned against a wall and slid down it, sitting on the cold floor with my knees against my chest.

My eyes jumped around the halls, my ears straining to hear the first hint of footsteps. I scarcely dared to breathe. I had no idea what I was going to do if someone walked around the corner. I didn't have any weapons on me, and I could only run for so long. I felt so vulnerable that I didn't even want to move.

I have no idea how long I sat there before I heard something. My eyes scanned the surrounding hallways even more vigilantly than before.

"Logan? Oh, thank god, it's you. Everyone's been looking for you. I was so worried... Are you alright?" Keegan asked, slowly approaching me.

I looked around, trying to make sense of things. Where was Rorke?

"I... Where is he?" I croaked, my voice still hoarse.

Keegan's expression softened as he looked at me with concern in his eyes. He cautiously sat down beside me, and I watched every movement he made like a hawk.

"...Who? Logan... what did you see?"

"Rorke, he... he was here and..." I choked out, frantically looking around.

All I could think about was him popping around one of those corners, killing Keegan, and dragging me away. The thought terrified me to the very core.

"Logan..." He said quietly, "what did you see?"

I shuddered, feeling absolutely disgusting, as I thought of it. I really didn't want to talk about it...

"Where is he?" I asked again, trying to change the direction this conversation was heading in.

He was silent for a couple moments, then he said, "Logan... he's dead. He's been dead for a while now, remember? He can't hurt you anymore."

I remembered that he was dead, yes. But that only confused me more, because I had _seen_ him. Something that vivid... that _real_ couldn't have only been a nightmare.

"B-but I... he was..." I stuttered, looking around the dark, eerie halls.

"He's dead. You're safe. Everything's okay, I promise." He said, pulling me into a hug.

But that was the problem. It wasn't just a dream, it was a memory. A memory that would haunt me right up until the moment my heart stopped beating. But for the time being, it was still hammering in my chest. I was still shaking. I was still terrified that Rorke was going to show up and take me away again. ...But I felt better than I had when I was sitting here all alone.

"Logan? You okay?" He asked, lifting my chin so he could see my face.

"...I'm sorry..." I said quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"What- for this? You don't need to be sorry, Logan, it's okay."

"No, it's _not._ The whole base is up looking for me just because I couldn't deal with a fucking nightmare. Keegan, I can't do anything on my own anymore!"

"Look at me." He said sternly.

After a few moments, I reluctantly met his eyes.

"Needing help isn't a bad thing, especially after everything you went through."

"But I'm a burden to everyone here!" I cried, struggling out of his arms and standing up.

I started to pace. Keegan stood as well and leaned against the wall, giving me my space. I appreciated it.

"You're not a burden to anyone, Logan. You've come so far in the past few months. When you first got here, there couldn't be more than 2 people in the room with you or you'd have a panic attack. You didn't trust any of us a single bit, even though we've been your teammates for years. You wouldn't eat for the first week you were here, because you thought we had poisoned your food. You've come a long way since then, because we've helped you. It's not a bad thing, and no one here thinks you're a burden. To be frank, we're all still overjoyed that you're alive and we were able to get you back. We were so worried while you were gone... You're part of the team, Logan, and we love you. So don't ever think you're a burden, because you're not."

Tears gathered in my eyes and I stood there just looking at him, unable to say anything in reply. I couldn't think of anything good enough for me to say.

Keegan gasped and said, "Oh no, don't cry! I'm sorry! Shit, I was trying to make you feel _better,_ not wor-"

He stopped mid-sentence as I shuffled forward and hugged him.

"...You _did_ make me feel better..." I sniffled.

"...Why are you crying then?" He asked, clearly confused.

I looked up at him with a small smile.

"Because I'm happy."

He frowned.

"But... that doesn't make sense..."

I laughed and said, "Just accept the fact that you made me happy and don't question my method of showing it."

After a few minutes, we went back to our room- telling everyone I was fine as we went- and laid down. It was around 4:00 in the morning, but neither of us cared at that point. We were both exhausted.

"I love you." I mumbled, rolling over and kissing him on the lips.

He smiled and said, "I love you, too. Now go to bed. You need sleep."

I rolled my eyes and said, "I _am_ in bed."

"Well go to sleep, then, smartass."

"You know you love me." I laughed, poking his nose.

He caught my hand and kissed it.

"More than anything."

My face turned so red that I couldn't believe it didn't light up the room like a traffic light. Even with it as dark as it was, Keegan knew me so well that he didn't need light to know I was blushing.

"Awww, you're blushing!" He laughed, ruffling my hair. "That's adorable."

"...Shut up..." I grumbled, rolling over and hiding my face in the blankets.

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was his laugh. I decided it was my favorite sound.


End file.
